


Prodigal Suns

by aenor_llelo, Alderous, BattleBlaze, Datasage, Falrisesi, InvaluableOracle, Jaybird314, Rocket999



Series: For A Diamond Is A Marveled Thing [29]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon), Steven Universe: The Light Series (Video Games), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Baby's First Colony, Daddy Issues, Dark Elves, Dreams, Even More Gem Lore, Father-Son Relationship, Featuring The Canonical Sons Of Odin, Found Family, Friendship, Gemsong, Genderfluid Loki (Marvel), Ghosts Of Asgardian Lore, Is Making Out A Valid Medical Intervention? Discuss, Jotunn Loki (Marvel), Just A Little. As A Treat, Just A Smidgen Of Diamond Politics, Kisscoding, Kissing, Like All Good Anime There's A Spa Episode, MBMBaM references, Major Character Injury, Mars! It's There, More Diplomacy Than Expected, Multi, Norse Wedding Practices, Not Thor: The Dark World Compliant, Odin (Marvel)'s A+ Parenting, Something About The Needs Of The Many, Suggestive Content Oh Boy Howdy, There's a goat, Thor Wondering What In The God Damn Emotions Are, Thor is Not Stupid (Marvel), there's a wedding involved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:28:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 68
Words: 62,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27984615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aenor_llelo/pseuds/aenor_llelo, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alderous/pseuds/Alderous, https://archiveofourown.org/users/BattleBlaze/pseuds/BattleBlaze, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Datasage/pseuds/Datasage, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Falrisesi/pseuds/Falrisesi, https://archiveofourown.org/users/InvaluableOracle/pseuds/InvaluableOracle, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jaybird314/pseuds/Jaybird314, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rocket999/pseuds/Rocket999
Summary: Chasing the last dregs of civil war out of the Nine Realms, Prince Thor Odinson wants nothing more than to rest, relax, and just maybe avoid thinking about what it means to be the next Allfather, and a legacy he's not sure if he has the right to scrutinize. Whispers of a convergence and dark elves on the rise can only quell his questions for so long, especially with this new Diamond prince who seems oddly concerned about what Thorwants.(It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.)For the part of a Diamond prince, the fragile secrecy of a hidden Sunrose Diamond could never last forever- not with the responsibilities he begs to take on, and certainly not with his first colony in the making- all while his impending presentation to the Gem Empire looms in the distance whether he likes it or not. (It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.)orA Diamond is a king's best friend.
Relationships: Connor Universe/Adya Maheswaran, Frigga | Freyja & Loki & Odin & Thor (Marvel), Jasper & Steven Universe, Lars Barriga/Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe, Odin & Thor (Marvel), Sif & Thor (Marvel)
Series: For A Diamond Is A Marveled Thing [29]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1604959
Comments: 543
Kudos: 485





	1. God, I Love My Wife

**Author's Note:**

> This work is part of a series and relies on the context of previous parts.

* * *

Crimson Carbide- Connor, they'd said to call them Connor ( _because we're friends, aren't we, little prince_ )- seems... different, as of late.

It's hard to tell, with Connor. Their song is almost droningly level, and the face they wear (at least on duty) tends to fall into a sort of vaguely stern curiosity more than anything else. But ever since they came back from their last leave, they've seemed... more relaxed? Content. Almost like...

"...you seem happier," Thor hesitantly finishes out loud. "Did you rest well when you returned home?"

"Not really." Connor blinks with the thought. "I did travel with my wife for a bit. It was nice." They look down at the knife they've sharpened. "She'll come to stay in Caercagna for the summer."

"She does not live with you?"

"Adya studies at a college," Connor answers simply. "It's common for humans to live at their colleges while they study. Summer's a rest period for schools there, so she'll stay with my house in the meantime."

"What _does_ she study?" Thor dares to wonder aloud.

"Music. Instruments, writing, singing. Her voice is very beautiful," Connor adds with a soft smile. "You're acting _very_ interested in my wife all of the sudden, little prince."

_Don't die, Thor_. "Sorry, sorry. I only-" _Speak up, boy. Make up your mind._ "-I'm supposed to be married myself soon. To, well..."

Thor trails off with a meaningful glance at the distant Sif, brushing at her horse.

"To _Sif?_ " Connor completes with raised eyebrows. "When did _that_ happen?"

"We were sworn to each other from a young age," Thor softly recites. "We've both had our share of lovers in the past, but we were meant to end up with eachother, in the end."

"Meant to?" Connor tilts their head. "So you don't want to. Someone else just tells you?"

"This is normal for us," Thor explains a little defensively. "Marriages are often contracts between families, and whatever love follows between the newlyweds is meant to come after."

"But do you _want_ to?" a steady song gently presses.

Sif. Lady Sif. Daring, strong Sif. Nimble rider, first of shieldmaidens, she was chosen and raised to be everything worthy of an Allfather's bride.

(And never once have they fallen in love.)

_But do you want to?_

"Does it matter?" Thor asks in return. 

"I think it does," Connor replies, as if it were only the easiest thing in the world.

_And what do you want, little prince?_

"I want..."

_~~To be strong to be good to be free to be enough finally finally enough~~ _

"...I want what is good for Asgard." Thor nods to Sif. "This is good for Asgard."

"Hmm."

Somehow, the answer feels hollow.

"You're invited," Thor half-blurts. "To our wedding. When it happens."

_That_ earns a wide eyed look. "I am?"

"We're meant to be forging a bond between our peoples, are we not?" Thor smiles. "Besides, it wouldn't do not to invite my friends."

"I'd be a terrible guest," Connor admits. "I'd terrify all your other ones."

"Good," Thor bites half-heartedly, "all the soft nobles forced to make their showing would deserve it."

"Don't tempt me. At this rate I'll turn into the worst guest you've ever had."

"I look forward to it, friend."

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the comics, Sif was raised by the Nine Mothers.
> 
> -
> 
> The interactive web novel Oddwick Isles has been launched! You can read it at https://tapas.io/series/Oddwick-Isles  
> Older readers may be familiar with the original Oddwick, but know that we did a reboot with a new format.
> 
> Oddwick Isles is typed live on our Discord, where readers can vote for certain paths and interactions, and then is transcripted onto Tapas. Subscribe to Oddwick on Tapas if you like it- doing so is free and if Oddwick reaches 100 subscribers we'll actually be paid for the ads that are forcibly inserted inbetween chapters.


	2. Never Dead And Only Dumb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"If something happened to you I'd never be able to forgive myself."_

* * *

_"I can fight."_

_Connor looks up to Sunrise. "I know."_

_"Why don't you let me fight?"_

_"You're too young."_

_"But you-" ~~You've let me protect you before.~~ "-you know I can fight. I've done it before."_

_"I know." Something almost sad crosses his face. "He should never have made you fight. It was cruel of him."_

_They do not speak of shattered time. (They do not speak of ~~Crimson Zirconia~~.)_

_"I'm... I'm supposed to protect you," she trails weakly._

_"You-" A staggered noise, almost like a laugh. "-you are more than my **sword** , Sunrise. You know that, right?"_

_"I am already a sword," her song shakes. "You can't stop me forever."_

_"I know," he concedes, "I know. But I can't send you to fight my battles, not like this. If I let you fight as you are now, **if I let you**..."_

_Her Diamond sighs- it is a high, hissing sound, rife with static. A broad steady hand softly graces her face._

_"If something happened to you I'd never be able to forgive myself," a dead song rings. "Do you understand?"_

=<>=

~~_Do you understand?_ ~~

She wasn't trying to fight. She was only-

-she was only trying to watch. She wasn't supposed to be caught in it, it...

It happened so fast. The marauders, they'd had- they had animals with them, big lumbering things that had broken the line, and-

~~_Do you understand?_ ~~

She wasn't fast enough, _she wasn't fast enough and he'd pushed her out of the way and he-_

Oh, _stars._

He'd barely managed an aborted noise of shock before an errant tail bashed him into a pillar with more force than it ever had the right.

Sunrise moves, but not fast enough. His body folds uselessly into the rubble of his own crash site like a carelessly tossed cloak, leaving her chasing after the threads of him.

"I'm sorry!" She jostles at his shoulders. "I wasn't- are you-"

Instead of scolding her, fussing with her, saying _anything_ at all(anything anything say anything _please_ ), his head hangs limply, falling onto her chest.

"Hey." She shakily taps at his slack face. "H- _hey_."

_~~Do you understand?~~ _

No. _No, no, please-_

She drops her head against his chest, straining past the anxious ring of her own gem until she can make out the agonizingly slow drum of his heart. She lets out a jagged breath.

"Jasper." Sunrise Jasper looks up and up at the golden stare of the euhedral Riband Jasper, eyes stern and demanding with the frown that warps around gem on her striped face. "What happened?"

"I don't-" Sunrise's song hitches pathetically for a moment, "- _he won't get up_."

"Let me see." A mottled green hand skirts along old scars and barely teases open cloudy diamond eyes. "Must've disconnected from his body," Riband finally hums.

_~~Do you understand?~~ _

"He's not _dead_ , you clod," Riband continues as she takes in the look on Sunrise's face. "Just a lost idiot. We'll call _my_ Diamond after the battle's over, he can sort this out."

"Okay."

~~_Do you understand?_ ~~

Sunrise clamps onto her Diamond's limp hand like a vice.

_~~If something happened to you I'd never be able to forgive myself.~~ _

* * *


	3. Where Is She? Where Is She, Now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor gets a little lost.

* * *

Where…

_ Where is this? _

**What is this?**

He was… there was the last of the marauders, on Vanaheim. They’d had frostbeasts with them, they’d broken the line, and…

... _ what is this place? _

“Hel,” a stranger whispers, voice weary from disuse.  Connor turns swiftly on his heel, ash and bone crackling underfoot. 

And yet, no one.

“This realm,” the voice continues, “has been nothing and no one but death for longer than I can remember.”

“Where are you?” he cuts, eyes shuttering with red.

“Where are  _ you? _ ” the voice parrots. “I hear your voice, but I see and feel nothing of your presence.”

He sees the grey of ash- feels the idle crunch of the ground, and its barrenness for miles. He looks up at the sky, greeted with nothing but a darkness. As though nothing exists but what he touches.

_ What he touches. _

“Grind your foot on the ground,” he suddenly asks.

“I think I might finally go mad, if I start taking the orders of voices.”

“And here I am,” Connor dryly retorts, “giving orders  _ to _ voices. It’s not like there’s anything better to do around here.”

The voice scoffs, the sound bordering on a barking cough. But soon enough, he sees the echo of something shifting on the ground, the untidy halo of dust gathering.

His hand clips on a shoulder. He catches a flash of  _ something _ , a gaunt face colored with shock, before his hand slips away and it’s gone.

_ Huh. Totally not going nuts, no siree. _

**Jury’s out.**

_ It’s called optimism, Thorn, maybe you’ve heard of it. _

The claws of his opened hand flex, just a little.  _ Trial and error. That’s all it is, isn’t it? _

He dares (maybe a little stupidly) to try again. It’s blind searching,  _ worse than blind _ , but he catches it again.

Something tall, but only humanly so- maybe close to Adya’s height. A willowy shape with dark clothes and dark hair, pale eyes marred with char.

She must have been beautiful, once- maybe she still is even now. Beautiful in a hideous way, like the porcelain white of bone, the pale skin of the sick and dying. Pale like birch, and ash, grey with something bordering on translucence. The spidery veins creeping up and down her limbs, bulging in her neck, like swollen ferns and snapping twigs. The light of this place, wherever it is, it catches on her face- she is so pale, in fact, that he just barely catches the sight of her bones. Her pupils visibly slim, compress, blocking out the extra light as it washes over her form.

Aesir, or something like it. But the harshness of her form reads less like stone and more… wooden, perhaps. Organic, but stilled. 

(Weathered and old, yet standing, still  _ alive _ , despite it all.)

“You’re real,” her voice shakes, an echoing quaver as a thin, spindled hand hovers over him. “By the roots of the Tree,  _ you’re actually… _ ”

“So are you,” Connor hesitantly responds.

A bitter laugh barks from flat teeth. “ _Maybe I am_. What a strange thought.”

“Well, does this strange thought have a name?”

“I…” She pauses. “I don’t know. It’s been so long. Hel is the only name I can remember in this place. I think it was 

**[MEMORY FILE CORRUPTED. MEMORY FILE NOT FOUND.]**

But what of you?” she tilts her head. “Do you have a name?”

“Sunrose.”  _ I think. _

_ I think? _

**Why can’t I…**

“Why are you alone out here?” He asks instead.

“I think… people forgot I was here,” she sadly guesses. “And then people forgot I ever was at all. There’s something wrong with this place, it makes people forget. Or maybe just me. I don’t… I don’t remember, anymore.”

“I’m sorry,” he says, and he thinks he might just mean it.

“Don’t be. You’ll forget too, I think.”

“No, I-”

His breath staggers. His hands, they’re…  _ fading _ .

“Oh,” she resignedly whispers, “it’s time for you to leave.”

“I can’t- I can’t just leave you here!”

“You will.”  She doesn’t even say it like an accusation. Just a dejected statement of fact.

“No, I’ll-”

“It’s alright. They all forget eventually.”

He hears voices. The ghost of something else,  _ someone _ else around him, and a noise, it might just be his name. Hel fades, and so does she.

“I’ll find you!” He shouts past his steadily tunneling vision. “I’ll remember you,  _ I’ll find you! I’LL _

**WAKE UP.**

* * *


	4. You Know Why

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tender.

* * *

The _Tamarai_ is different than the pictures Sunrise last saw it in.

It is still, noticeably, the same ship. The same nacred white, the same innumerable windows framed like eyes, the same pattern of grand arabesque swirling with Diamonds’ colors.

It no longer looks like one of those whales, though. The sky breaks with serpentine manifestation and instead of a grand white whale, it’s this looming, kite-like fish with odd fins on its face. A ray, if Sunrise remembers correctly.

It hangs suspended like a dead man, a shadow against the clouds while Asteria Diamond’s small palanquin descends, deigning to grace them with its presence.

The Diamond spares little more than a passing greeting when he emerges.

“The body.” His song and face are neutral masks. “Bring it here.”

It’s the Jaspers that lay Connor out, Wolf trailing behind them.

“How long?” he whispers.

“We called you as soon as the battle was over,” Riband Jasper reports. “He hasn’t moved since.”

“Of course,” the Diamond sighs. Dark eyes sweep the room, alien pupils suddenly boring into Sunrise herself, and she stamps down the urge to flinch at it. “You found him, didn’t you?”

“I-” She tramples the urge to run from his gaze. “-I saw it happen. I was… I was in the way, _forgive me, I_ -”

“It’s alright.” There’s a level sincerity carried in the song, and that’s just a tad more terrifying than whatever rage he’s decided she wasn’t worth. “You stayed with him all this time, didn’t you? You’d stayed until help came for him.”

His hand lays softly on her shoulder, just above her gem.

“That was brave of you, Sunrise. Thank you.”

Her song hisses with static as she determinedly looks anywhere else.

=<>=

Thor had expected a healer.

He had not expected Asteria Diamond.

“I _am_ a healer,” she’d softly said. “And this problem is of a Diamond nature, anyways.”

(There is no anger, no irritation for being pulled away from whatever task she’d had before. No attempt to delegate the task to someone else. She freely and willingly came forth to tend to it herself.)

Dark eyes scatter pink, white diamonds shuttering as her claws snag on some invisible thing in the air. “There you are,” she distantly whispers.

She slams an immaterial _something_ into Connor’s chest, and the Gem sputters back to life with wild eyes and dazed choking sounds.

“Hey, hey.” A gentle hand smoothing out the hair that's fallen over Connor's face. “It’s alright, son, you’re alright.”

“... _Dad_ ,” Connor barely whispers.

“Easy, son.”

“ _...'m sorry,_ ” Connor’s words weakly trail, “ _... m'dyou come all th's way..._ "

“It’s okay.” Broad white claws card through rose red curls. “I’m just glad you’re alright.”

Their songs peter off to something more private- dazed questioning chirps and steady answering trills. All the while, their hands softly hold until the inevitable second Connor comes a little more back to themself and lets go. (Even still, they don’t bother to stop the other, softer touches.)

It’s an odd scene, almost _tender_. Like a father with his child.

  
(Thor looks away. He doesn’t know why his heart seems to _ache_ all of the sudden.)

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tamarai is a manta ray now i don't make the rules


	5. But The Moon Is Still The Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A phase is a phase, a tide is a tide, the moon is the moon.

* * *

Loki has this problem. Nothing new, he’s had it for quite a long while, really.

He just sort of hates his body sometimes.

He’ll wake up one day and feel ... _wrong_ . Shoulders too broad, face too sharp, voice too low, every despicable inch of his horrid mortal shell crawling like insects under his skin, _I hate you I hate you I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU._

He could hardly stand to hear the word _Odinson_ , some days.

The tidal pull to be something else, _anything_ else, would grapple his throat until he gave in during some private moment, sneaking out into the city wearing a different face, a different body, until the feeling passed.

Sometimes it only took a day. Sometimes it would take weeks, _months_ \- those times were spent a double life, masquerading in another body for so long people began to ask for it by name before it disappeared again.

He had held the Casket of Eternal Winters in his hands, watched his fingers go cold and blue, and something had clicked into place, just a bit.

(And then he fell. And then _everything_ was wrong, _everything everything_ until the last shred of the face of Loki Odinson was stripped away forever.)

It had been torture to have a jotunn’s face, at least for a while, but something had settled then. Not a _satisfaction_ , per se, but an acceptance. This, perhaps, had been the source of his tidal hatred. A life wearing a false face, and the pain of the truth as it was stripped away.

And then he’d woken up one morning, feeling hatred on his skin like the worst kind of old friend, and screamed into his blankets.

Just a little.

As a treat.

“Damn it,” he whines as he trudges over to his mirror. “What is it now?”

It would be so much easier if his body just _knew_ what it wanted. But no, he’s stuck with guessing games every damn time this happens.

Is it the horns? He lets the growth shift and shrink on itself, blues fading away into a more familiar-

- _No, no, absolutely not._ The moment he’d reached aesir he felt a strong twinge of disgust rolling in the back of his throat, his jotunn colors coming back with a vengeance.

Perhaps something more in the face. He lets his eyes soften, hair curl a little more gently. His neck and shoulders slim. This is better, somehow.

“It almost looks like-” _a woman._

_Oh._

“You know you can’t,” he whispers sadly to himself.

It would never be allowed. Father wouldn’t ever let him walk around as a _woman_ , of all things, he’d…

...he…

...Father isn’t here anymore. Father isn’t _Father_ anymore.

_As long as you aren’t hurting anyone, practice as much as you like._ That’s what Her Radiance had said, hadn’t she?

_Well,_ he thinks grimly, steeling himself in his reflection, _this is certainly going to be drastic practice._

=<>=

She’d noticed. Of course she had. Her Radiance had always been attentive like that. Her dark eyes had shuttered, mechanically taking in his new form.

“It suits you,” she says. “Are you going to keep it that way?”

“I’m not sure.” His voice rings more mellow in this new body than it usually did. “I thought I should try it, at least.”

“Do you have a different name to go with it?” she asks. “I know some people change their names when having different bodies.”

“I am still Loki,” he replies, perhaps a little defensively. “Just… wearing something different for a while.”

“Well, even if you aren’t keeping it.” Her Radiance gently pats Loki’s face with an easy softness. “You make a lovely young lady regardless.”

Loki breathes a short laugh, looks down at her own long black claws, and smiles.

* * *


	6. We'll Pass It On To You, We'll Give The World To You,

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And you'll blow us all away,  
> someday, someday...

* * *

**DIRECT DIAMOND LINE**

**REPORTING:** His Radiance, Asteria Diamond

**TO:** His Umbrance, Sunrose Diamond

**REGARDING:** Mars

_Atmospheric terraforming is nearly complete and the diviner Sapphires have mapped out prospective Kindergartens to canyon._

=<>=

**RESPONDING:** His Umbrance, Sunrose Diamond

**TO:** His Radiance, Asteria Diamond

**REGARDING:** Mars

_That's good, I guess. But why are you telling me this?_

=<>=

**RESPONDING:** His Radiance, Asteria Diamond

**TO:** His Umbrance, Sunrose Diamond

**REGARDING:** Mars

_They'll need approval for which canyons go through so it doesn't interfere with city mapping._

=<>=

**RESPONDING:** His Umbrance, Sunrose Diamond

**TO:** His Radiance, Asteria Diamond

**REGARDING:** Mars

_Yes, but why am I involved in this?_

=<>=

**RESPONDING:** His Radiance, Asteria Diamond

**TO:** His Umbrance, Sunrose Diamond

**REGARDING:** Mars

_Connor, it's your colony._

=<>=

**RESPONDING:** His Umbrance, Sunrose Diamond

**TO:** His Radiance, Asteria Diamond

**REGARDING:** Mars

_WAIT WHAT_

=<>=

**RESPONDING:** His Radiance, Asteria Diamond

**TO:** His Umbrance, Sunrose Diamond

**REGARDING:** Mars

_Why do you think I've been giving you all these notifications??? And having you draft plans???_

=<>=

**RESPONDING:** His Umbrance, Sunrose Diamond

**TO:** His Radiance, Asteria Diamond

**REGARDING:** Mars

_I THOUGHT I WAS SHADOWING YOU???_

_I,_

_I didn't think you would trust me with a colony_

=<>=

**RESPONDING:** His Radiance, Asteria Diamond

**TO:** His Umbrance, Sunrose Diamond

**REGARDING:** Mars

_Well, I did._

_I don't expect your involvement until after your Asgardian campaign is resolved, but I'll be taking you on tours afterward. It would do you good to see what the completed 3rd Era standard colonies look like before taking on a project yourself. It'll be good for recruiting, as well. There's a number of Gems I've got in mind to put to the task and I'd like you to meet them and give the last approval._

_You can touch down when you're done with the Asgardian job and the first temporary outposts are stationed to receive more people._

_I'll still be helping you, of course, but... I do trust you with this. Do me proud, okay?_

=<>=

**RESPONDING:** His Umbrance, Sunrose Diamond

**TO:** His Radiance, Asteria Diamond

**REGARDING:** Mars

_i'll try_

* * *


	7. Nine Steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fire dance.

* * *

It is, by far, not the worst pain of his life. 

He’d had worse in a sparring ring- really, it’s no more than being gently stabbed.

He’d only been on a boat with some of the other soldiers, he-  _ they _ were going fishing, he’d never fished before. Work unworthy of his time, Father had said.  _ Better hunt on your own two feet than in the waters where aesir sink like stones. _ He’d… he’d only been curious, that’s all, and the others had been working so hard. Wouldn’t it be fair to lend his strength to at least haul some fish, so that everyone could eat a little easier tonight? 

No one notices that the eel slithering in one of the baskets isn’t quite an eel until it writhes out and catches Thor on the leg.

A water snake of some kind, surely. He shakes his foot until the thing falls off.

“Your Majesty!”

“It’s alright,” Thor reassures lightly, “it didn’t even hurt.”

“ _ You need to sit down _ ,” a pale faced soldier insists.

He moves toward them. “Really, it’s nothing-”

Another pair of arms shoves him down before he can stand. “Try not to move.” The man turns back to the shore. “ _ Gods’ sake, is there a healer down here? The prince has been wounded!  _ ”

Naturally,  _ those _ glowing words of confidence get the entire camp into a mad frenzy. Soon, the whole camp was swarming with panicked soldiers, yelling and scrambling like chickens out of the coop.

“Are you serious?”

“ _ Oh gods. We’re dead. We’re so fucking dead! _ ”

“How did this happen!?”

“Ha _ HA _ ,  _ oh, we  _ _ are _ _ fucked. _ ”

There’s hands grappling over his legs, his shoulders, carrying him about like some kind of child.

“Really,” his voice starts up again, a little less steady this time, “you don’t need to fuss over such a trivial thing.”

“It’s not  _ trivial _ ,” the boatmaster bites with grave sobriety. “ _ You’ve been poisoned _ .”

_ Oh. Well that’s rather simple, isn’t it? _

“Please, you don’t need to worry. I’ve been blessed with a strong body, I will heal quickly. This poison will be nothing.”

“It is no mere poison, my prince. It is ninestep venom-  _ cursed _ poison. There is no body strong enough to resist it.”

_ No body strong enough. _

~~_ You're not strong enough. _ ~~

He is only vaguely aware of the events that followed. Some cloudy memory of being hauled into camp as everyone around him loudly insisted he not take a single step further. Of the poor boatmaster being called in, of being demanded to explain what transpired.

A ninestep snake. A small, smooth creature that lived in water like a fish. It was nothing grand or fierce in any fashion, not even beautiful- it was a dull, flat faced thing with small eyes, marred with garish stripes.

It also happened to be among the most venomous things in all the realms. 

A cursed poison, killing whatever was struck with it after taking exactly nine steps. Perfectly treatable, if done in time.

Unless there  _ was _ no time, of course.

If there was no time, the only proper solution was to make sure the victim could never take another proper step again.

...And they’re running out of time.

He sits up in the cot he’s been placed in, running on the last dregs of his dissolving pride, and distantly- distantly,  _ composedly _ , for that was the way he was raised- he realizes he might be panicking.

Just a bit.

Just briefly.

(Maybe not so briefly. He’s not sure how much time has passed anymore.)

Because if they  _ can’t _ treat it in time (a possibility increasing every passing second the camp runs ragged trying to find a healer), they’ll have to be drastic, and they’ll have to…

... _ they’ll have to lame his leg, won’t they. _

_ Oh.  _

Oh,  _ they will, won’t they? _

Because he’s the prince of Asgard. The one and future king. They’ll take every measure to save his life even if it breaks him.

And what’s he supposed to do with himself after he’s broken?

_ Oh, it’s only a lame leg _ . But if he’s got a bad leg then he can’t walk right, and how’s he supposed to fight if he can’t even walk,  _ what’s he supposed to do if he can’t fight, it’s the only thing he knows, it’s the only thing he’s good at, what’s he supposed to do after he’s ~~worthless?~~ _

~~_ Worthless worthless WORTHLESS USELESS WORTHLESS CHILD- _ ~~

“Hey, hey,  _ hey!  _ How on the stars is this camp fucking around like a gaggle of HEADLESS FUCKIN’ SHARDS!” There’s a grating screech where claws scuff metal. “Fucked off for five minutes an’ y’all gone to shit. What’s going on?”

“C-Crimson Carbide! You shouldn’t be wandering so close to-”

“The state you’re all in," Connor chuffs disdainfully. " _ Where’s the prince?  _ He wouldn’t leave y’all in such sorry fucking shape, I-”

Dark eyes skirt with a flash of red as they finally lock on to Thor himself. Thor, stuck shaking in bed like a hapless child, and for a moment he feels such a strong stab of shame he wants to fall down into his furs and disappear altogether.

A ringing song, suddenly softened. “What’s happened to you?”

“He’s been poisoned,” some stranger replies, “a ninestep snake, it got his leg, we might need to break-”

Connor bowls over the words with more boredom on his face than he likely has the right. “So it’s an animal's poison.”

“Well, yes, but-  _ what are you doing, you can’t come in here- _ ”

“Too bad.”

Thor can guess what’s happening outside his vision. Connor can’t be bothered to take anyone’s authority on a  _ good _ day, and they won’t start now. He can only hope no one’s gotten too bruised in the process.

Somewhere in the back of his head, he’s realizing he  _ should _ be seeing what’s going on. But he doesn’t.  _ Why can’t he see what’s happening, is he going blind, he’s just going to be even more- _

“Hey.” A rosy face and wine red curls suddenly dominate his vision. “Can you look at me for a second?” Diamond eyes come into all too sharp focus, shuttering mechanically. “You’re not dying. You’re just having a panic attack. This happens when people get hurt. You’re fine.”

_ I’m not fine, it’s not fine, it’s not fine- _

A large hand lightly bats at his face. “Stop that. If you keep freaking out you’re gonna pass out. I need you to work with me, little prince.”

“And w-what,” Thor shakily manages, “exactly are you planning?”

“Nothing too drastic.” Now  _ both _ hands are framing his face, broad curling claws just barely threatening to dig into his skull. “Try not to move. This will probably hurt.”

...The camp, Thor imagines, will be talking about it for the rest of the campaign. The tall tale of a foreign soldier prince that went and kissed the heir to Asgard like nothing.

And it was not a kiss by any mortal definition. It was  _ fire _ \- fire crawling down his throat and into his blood, searing at his wound and all the poison that came with it until it burned out of his body, chased out by the swell of a storm behind his eyes, an alien  _ sound _ ringing in his skull like the worst of a struck bell.

And then it was gone- and with it, his injuries.

The hands on his face retreat.

“So your hair  _ is _ red under all that blond.” Connor tilts their head. “I wonder why you change it. It suits you, little prince.”

With nothing more to add than that, the Gem simply leaves exactly the way they came- bluntly, without anything resembling respect.

Thor reaches a shaking hand upwards, pushing back the light reds of the hair falling in front of his face.

(And after an insultingly slow ten minutes, he realizes he can walk again.)

* * *


	8. Your Father And Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thinking of mothers, thinking of fathers, thinking of weddings.
> 
> or
> 
> A roundabout way to ask for a sleepover.

* * *

“So Asteria Diamond  _ is _ your father.”

Connor’s song cuts off with a harsh note as they determinedly look anywhere else. “No, no, it’s not- jeez. So you heard that, huh? I don’t-”

They hold their hands together for a moment.

“No. We don’t-  _ Gems _ don’t have...  _ parents _ , per se. The vast majority of us are  _ grown _ , injected into the earth and fueled with Diamond ichors.”

“Wouldn’t that make the Diamonds your parents?”

“I  _ am _ a Diamond,” Connor sighs. “I  _ am _ one of those parents. And we just… came out of stars. Alone. The closest thing  _ we _ have to parents are the stars that made us, and, well… they’re all gone now.” 

“.... Is that where  _ ‘Suneater’ _ comes from, then?”

“They aren’t just pretty words,” Connor half-laughs. “All of those titles. They do have meaning. History, I guess.”

“So if Asteria Diamond isn’t your father, what is he? A mentor? A tutor? I know that Gem types look the same, and, well,” Thor’s eyes sweep their form, “you do look rather alike.”

“The Diamonds… are my elders. And until I sit the throne myself, they are my teachers. White, Yellow, Blue, Asteria…” 

Thor’s brow raises, a speculative gleam in his eyes. “And yet, Asteria is undoubtedly different, no? I’ve only ever seen you with them, among the Diamonds, and that seems very intentionally so.”

“He found me first,” Connor answers matter-of-factly. “Found me and… fostered me, after  _ Her Celebrance _ had-”

“Her Celebrance?” Thor repeats, head cocking. “That’s one I don’t remember hearing.”

Connor stills. Slowly, deliberately, he relaxes. It reminds Thor of the way Loki would tense after spilling a secret he hadn’t wanted to part with.

“Her Celebrance.” Connor’s song wavers with an unreadable note. “Her Celebrance, Pink Diamond. Dance of the Stars, Song of Laughter, Unyielding, Suneater.”

“ _ Pink _ Diamond? I thought she disappeared eons ago, wasn’t that the conflict that  _ Asteria  _ helped fix when they came up?” Thor squints, confounded. “How can you have known her when it was Asteria that found you in the first place?”

“I don’t. She’s been dead for longer than I can remember her. But… she would have been my mother.” The red thorns on Connor’s arms shift uneasily. “As much as such a thing exists for us.”

Thor winces, hand twitching as he lies it on his friend’s shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he hesitantly offers. “I shouldn’t pry.”

Connor’s mouth twitches. It’s not a smile, not really, but it’s not quite upset. “White, Yellow, Blue- they mourned her. Most Gems who saw her Era did. But Az and I…”

They rock their head gently with contemplation.

“I think Az knew her too well to mourn her. And I never knew enough. Maybe if I really met her, I’d be sad, but most of the time it just feels empty, I guess.”

Thor hums sympathetically in response. “That’s understandable, friend. It’s an unpleasant predicament either way, truly.”

He leans forward, letting the fire catch against his eyes.

“If I think about it, I don’t think I’ve really seen much of either of my parents.” Thor pushes at a stray braid daring to fall on his shoulders. “I mostly saw my brothers and my teachers as a child.  _ Loki _ saw quite a bit of Mother, I suppose, but she had more to teach him.”

Thor’s hold tightens on Mjolnir.

“I saw Father plenty. But mostly, he had different things to teach me. I was to learn from men and battle most of all. That is what it is to be the next Allfather.”

“So I take it you’re not very close to them.”

“I…” Thor shuffles back on his spot of ground, mouth working for a moment. “...I don’t know if I should say  _ that _ . I’ve always looked up to Father, and… Mother has always been kind to us. Even when we didn’t deserve it, even when Father was-” 

Thor trails off.

“She has a strong heart, that’s all. I should hope to have half the strength that woman has.”

“I think you do,” Connor replies. Spoken as if it were somehow fact, as if there was no easier truth in the world.

Thor almost laughs at the thought, but that would be rude. He tones down to a nervous chuckle instead. “I’m happy to have given you such confidence in me, my friend.” 

_ It’s almost like I’ve earned it. _

He waves the thought away with a flippant motion. “You’d like her, I think. Most people do.”

“If she’s anything like you, I’d be inclined to agree.” Connor tilts their head with a sardonic sort of smile. “I think I’ll have to take your word for it, though. I’m not sure how welcome we’d be after how weird I hear our  _ first _ introduction was.”

“It  _ is _ traditional,” Thor offers, grinning a little, “for returning armies to house in the capital, after a battle is won. For them to take the hospitality of the royal house. An appreciation for their service. It would only be proper if we did the same for you as thanks for your help.”

“Well,” Connor smiles in turn, just a little softer, “ _ if it’s only proper _ , it’d be rude to refuse, wouldn’t it?”

“Quite so. Wars have been fought for less, I hear.”

“And we wouldn’t want that, would we?”

“Surely not. I’d never hear the end of it! I can hear it now-  _ The prince’s envoy, refusing hospitality from the crown. _ ” Thor laughs, shaking his head. “It’d be the scandal of the century!”

“I can’t waste a war on that. I’d rather save it for your wedding instead.”

_ “Now you listen to me-” _

* * *


	9. Villain In Your History

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Legacy, what is a legacy?

* * *

Connor tilts his head up as he slows Wolf down, leaning down to Jasper with a whispered strand of song. “Did you hear that?”

Jasper stops her steady march, casting a sharp look at the sky. “Oh, _that’s_ pathetic.”

“So there _is_ something. What is it?”

“We’re being followed,” she spits. “There’s _something_ up there, but it’s cloaking itself.” She turns back to her short squadron. “Ruby.” A one-eyed Ruby looks up. “I need your eye. Can you see it?”

The old Ruby takes perch on Jasper’s shoulder with practiced ease, bracing on the larger Gem’s horns as she turns a hollow eye to the sky. “I caught it,” she rasps.

“Give it to me,” Connor quickly decides, sliding off of Wolf’s back. Taking the data of the small kiss on his hands, he quietly passes it on to Wolf. “ _Find them._ ”

With a blink, Wolf is gone.

=<>=

  
  


Thor swings back around on his horse. “Why have you stopped?”

“Give it a sec,” Connor distractedly answers.

Before Thor can really think to ask what that means, there’s a clattering sound above them, just the barest muffled shout, and the satisfyingly familiar crackle of Wolf’s return.

There’s an… an _elf_ of some kind, dragged by their shameful collar in Wolf’s jaws. Jaws nudging closer to flesh with every struggle.

Connor frowns. “Wolf, drop that.”

Wolf chuffs, snapping a bit closer to the elf’s neck.

"Wolf, you _just_ ate, you-” Connor sighs, pinching at their brow. “You shouldn't be getting too many snacks, you know, it's not healthy!"

Wolf growls vaguely.

“That’s not an excuse, you don't know where those things have been! What if you get food poisoning?”

The pale elf’s face is hidden by a stiff mask, but Thor has the distinct impression that they're torn between _agreeing_ with Connor in hopes of not getting eaten, or being offended at the insinuation that they’re too filthy to eat. 

It really could go either way.

But reluctantly, Wolf spits the elf down on the ground. 

Eventually.

With a bit of canine brand slobber as a parting gift. The elf looks _thrilled_.

Connor drags the elf (maybe a bit more gently then they deserve) up by the shoulders until they stand. “I’m sure you and your friends get this is a pretty bad look for you. An attempted infiltration right on the tail end of a civil unrest is hard to pass off on any front, you know.”

The elf spits out some manner of retort, sound rolling with something _old_ \- so old that Thor can only barely parse so much as an intent for what’s being said.

“I think you can do a little better than that,” Connor mockingly soothes. “You’re _spies_. You wouldn’t be here if you couldn’t at least understand the native talk.” They turn the elf to Thor’s direction. “My folks get you just fine but you might want to speak up for the prince over here, hm?”

The elf doesn’t _quite_ cave, but at least has the courtesy to make itself known. “ _Borson_.”

“Odinson, actually. ” Thor raises his hands in what hopefully carries as a peaceful gesture. “I am Thor, son of Odin, son of Bor.”

Something like shock runs through the elf’s body, a pitched noise earning a shrewd glance from Connor.

“Thor,” Connor carefully says, “I’m wondering- have you ever _seen_ this kind of people before?”

Thor pauses at the question, stepping back to look- _really look_ \- at their captive.

“I…” Thor tilts his head with the thought. “...I’m not sure. It _looks_ like an elf, but-”

“Norns save us from the ignorance of aesir!” The captive spy shouts with a sudden fervor, angry veins visible even beyond the borders of their mask. “Are your _conquests_ ,” they spit, “so beneath you that we were unworthy of even our _names?_ ”

Connor sighs, kneeling down to look at the fallen figure. “Then tell us. Who are your people? Why have you come? I assume Bor’s legacy has inflicted much harm upon you and yours.”

“What good would it do? We’ve already been forgotten.” Thor can almost imagine the eyes boring into him, from behind the gaping black holes of that alabaster mask. “What good can it do when your forefathers saw fit to teach you nothing?”

“You’re right,” Thor sighs sadly. “I am unwise to my history, but not by choice. I am unwise, but I would _learn_ , where I can. Tell me, so I may understand the grievances my people have forced upon yours.”

“And if you don’t feel like talking, that’s fine, too.” Connor looks up, and up- up to a very specific part of the sky. “We know where the rest of you are, I’m sure _one_ of you will listen to reason.”

The spy looks between the faces of the gathered party. They aren’t an idiot, clearly- they know they’ve been surrounded. Even still, they jostle their arm out of Connor’s hand, summoning some last glimmer of pride to stand on their own.

“Your people saw us and called us _dark elves_ . But our name, _our chosen name_ , was Alfeneel. And your Allfather Bor once saw fit to steal from us our greatest treasure.”

Thor can just barely see it- large eyes glaring behind the mask. Glacial, ancient, _angry._

“Our Aether.”

* * *


	10. Quiet Words, Sundried Skin,

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Come and let the devil in.

* * *

They’ve taken shelter along a knotted grassy knoll, using the uneven sloping to obscure their camp and ward of the night’s chill. The procedure continues as it always has. Tents are hung, horses tended and stowed. Gems were already laying out their stone pits for whatever strange business they’ll be getting to this night- probably more of that spinning sport the Rubies were so fond of in their off hours.

Elsewhere, the fires have been set for food, and many soldiers had already started breaking off into their usual groups to eat and make whatever small merry they can.

There is no need to ask after the masks of the Alfeneel, not anymore. Darkness fell, and the pale collection cast off their porcelain faces and dark coverings. Their faces are skulls in the night- high cheekbones, long white hair, and their eyes are large, doll-like things.

The foot soldiers and attendants might talk, but the Einherjar will keep it quiet enough. Trained personally by the House of Odin, their loyalty is without question. There has been an incident that requires the attention of the prince. They need know nothing more. They’ll leave Thor and his group to speak amongst themselves uninterrupted.

“The Aether,” one Alfeneel begins, “is an ancient thing. An artifact that could warp the nature of reality to our wish on planetary scales.”

“A horrifying weapon,” Thor muses warily.

Connor chuffs dryly from his seat, leaning back into Wolf, who curls behind him like a bed. “Too volatile,” he points out. “You wouldn’t be stupid enough to use something that valuable as a weapon. It’s a  _ terraformer _ , isn’t it?”

“Indeed,” she replies, looking to the Gem, “It was how we sustained ourselves in our darkness. The Aether would nourish our soils, cut our land and let pass our rivers, as integral a piece of our prosperity as any sun on any world. Without it, we starve and wither, young and old alike.”

“Your world,” Thor asks, “it had no sun?”

“We are  _ old _ , Odinson.” She looks up at the sky with an implacable nostalgia. “There were not so many stars, once, when our people were young. Born to a universe steadily becoming too full of light for us to thrive.” Her large eyes squint almost comically in Connor’s direction. “Even the creatures are brighter than they used to be.”

“As a being forged from one such star, I cannot say that is unexpected.” Conner replies, inclining his head, “But I take your point. How is it that you managed to survive so long despite the novas? Were you forced to recolonize elsewhere?”

“Malekith. Our archmage. Perhaps in your words, you would call him a king. The Aether had always been around us as a form of wild magic to harness, but it was Malekith that brought it to a form that we could  _ tame _ .” She looks back to Thor. “Do you know of the Convergence?”

“Heimdall taught me of it, once. It’s almost due to happen again, is it not?”

Another Alfeneel speaks up. “It had been a simple plan, in theory. Malekith and his attendants had planned to wield the Aether on a grander scale with the aid of the Convergence, beyond the scope of our homeworld. A pocket of darkness, hidden away where the stars could poison us no longer. We had no designs on the other realms- we were content to simply observe from a distance, perhaps even approach with friendship in a distant future, when we were not so starved.”

“Until  _ Bor. _ ” The first Alfeneel spits upon the ground by his boot, tone dripping with acid. “We had just brought back life to our fields when the Asgardians learned of our treasure. We had but two harvest seasons before we were set upon by his savage army, and then there weren’t enough people left to feed.”

“We tried.”

This last Alfeneel had left on her mask, only taking it off now as she decides to finally speak. Her face is weathered, greyed, striped like trees, a voice creaking like dead would underfoot.

“We had tried,” her sun-dry voice rattles, “to plead with him. The Aether had been for our harvests, for our  _ children. _ But the Allfather heard nothing. What could a warlord ever see in power except more war?”

By this point, Thor’s face was one of wretched disgust and anguish. Well, to Connor at least. He supposes, to any of the soldiers close enough to see, the prince would have been the perfect picture of composed sympathy. 

But Connor knows a bit better by now, he thinks. 

It had been hard to read him at first, but then Connor realized Thor was rather like Az, at least in this regard. All resting smiles and friendly words, with a godly storm of emotions writhing underneath.

It’s the wide flatness of Thor’s mouth. The subtle knot of a brow, the tense line in a hand trained not to strangle Mjolnir with such obvious stress. (Plays of color, flashing behind the eyes, thunder threatening to strike.)

The prince bows his head in shame. “Please, by all the Gods above, allow me the chance to right these wrongs and return to you what is yours.” 

“ _ Where _ were you headed?” Connor cuts in. “We know it was to Asgard, but where would you have started your search?”

“The vault,” Thor whispers. “If anywhere, it would have been the vault. But I don’t know how they’d let us into the  _ city _ , much less into the  _ vault _ .”

“You’re the cracked  _ crown _ , little prince.” Connor leans in with his words, Wolf leaning with the echo of Connor’s caustic grin. “Your word could get you right up to the Allfather’s bedcloset if you asked.” 

Thor blinks, head slowly raising up as the notion sinks in. “... You are right, of course. So long as they are guests of the crown, they are guests of Asgard. None would dare accost them. It would be treason of the highest offence.”

“Awfully  _ generous _ an idea, Odinson,” the sun-aged Alfeneel notes. “Far be it from me to refuse it, but one can’t help but wonder  _ why _ .”

“I am not my forefathers,” Thor sorrowfully responds. “And I never will be the kings they were. But I can try to learn from their mistakes and be a  _ good _ one.”

His words give her pause, with all the rigid stiffness expected of wood. There is a silent conversation in the eyes of the Alfeneel, their words cast in shadow and stares. After a moment that felt like millennia, she sighs and nods. “As you say, then, Odinson. We accept your hospitality and your word.” 

“I hope my word stays worthy as your trust, then.”

“As do we.”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can you tell we thought thor 2 was wasted potential


	11. Like Hawks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Himinbjorg**
> 
> _Himinbjorg is a Bifrost channeler and observation tower on the far edge of Asgard, used as the primary means of the aesir to travel along Yggdrasil and the Nine Realms. Both Himinbjorg and its sentinel were made as gifts for the first king of Asgard by a group of artificers called The Nine Mothers, tokens and tools for the prosperity of the dynasty._

* * *

“Strange, is it not?” Heimdall’s rich voice echoes through his observatory. “I knew you were accompanied by others, but I could not see or hear them.”

“We didn’t see them, either. If not for our Gem allies, we would’ve never known they were coming. The Alfeneel seem to have developed stealth technology for their ships- though they weren’t intending to. It keeps the ship dark enough for them to travel safely, without the threat of starlight.” 

Heimdall hums idly at Thor’s words, the droning sound pitched to disappear with the idle noise around him. 

Thor tries not to squirm at the silent judgement.

“I suppose,” Heimdall says after a time, “I’ll have to take your word for it.” Golden eyes are cold and stern, but not unkind. “Though I must ask why you have brought them here. I have not seen their kind since the days of Bor, and those were dark days indeed. My eyes saw blood and death for miles on end.”

  
  
“So did theirs, Heimdall. Bor ravaged their society and stole the only thing that was keeping them alive for no other reason than that it was  _ there _ and  _ wasn’t his. _ I cannot in good conscience allow such a stain upon this nation to remain unwashed, my friend- I  _ have _ to help them.” Thor sighs, shaking his head. “Else I’d be no better than he.”

It never did good to try and sway Heimdall- fair as he was, he pitied little. Even still, the slightest desperation creeping on Thor’s face is an old friend all the same.

“I have given them my word and my protection. They shall do no harm here. The Alfeneel only came to take back what was theirs to begin with. I’ve never even  _ heard _ of this Aether, surely it cannot be so useful to us that we must continue this vicious cycle. This is a chance to make things  _ right,  _ Heimdall, and perhaps make one less foe for Asgard in the process.” 

The prince gazes into his friend’s eyes, level and unmoving. This was obviously not a situation where he would be taking no for an answer.

  
  
“I know, Heimdall, that you…  _ remember _ more than most, and I am not asking you to welcome old enemies with open arms. I only ask you to trust me on this, and,” Thor quickly looks aside, “perhaps not tell the Allfather about this? I’d like to see it through myself, explain it on my own terms.”

_ And I’d rather he not stop me before we’ve finished. _

“My duty,” Heimdall levelly responds, “is to the crown. If Odin asks, I will answer with my full honesty.  _ But _ ,” he lightly raises a finger off his sword, “if Odin does not know to ask, I need not answer. Understood?”

  
  
Thor beams, engulfing his friend in a bear hug. “Loud and clear, my friend, loud and clear. Thank you for understanding.”

“I’d like the dynasty to last at least a little longer,” Heimdall nearly smiles. “It wouldn’t do for the crown prince to be buried under his father’s reins forever.”

  
  
“T’would not indeed, Heimdall.” He releases the guard with a mighty clap on the shoulder. “Well, I shall distract you no longer.”

Heimdall seamlessly stands back at attention, as though he had never left it at all, softly inclining his head as if Thor had only just arrived. “Then welcome back to Asgard, Your Majesty, and long may you reign.”

“Try not to look so disappointed at the thought, Heimdall. May your watch outlive us yet.”

* * *


	12. The Responsible Son

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor doesn't know why, but he thinks he's going to be sick.

* * *

“Now I might be guessing,” Connor blankly raises their brow as they take in the vault, “but I’m gonna put my gem out there and say y’all didn’t _make_ all of this stuff.”

Thor remembers this vault well. The way Father had often brought him and his brothers down here, a story and a victory for every little treasure. Fanciful summaries of Asgard’s countless conquests, capturing childish minds with grand and shining trinkets. 

(So many of them Odin’s. Why were so many of them _his?_ )

It always seemed so normal when it was a tale long past- Thor was just now becoming aware of the ramifications these artifacts had. A victory, yes, in a war which may not seem so justified as the story makes it appear. _The Alfeneel weren't the first, nor the last._

“The Tesseract,” he says instead, “was of Asgardian make, I believe. But the vast majority of these were acquired in Odin’s time.” Thor sighs, suddenly feeling far less nostalgic. “Father had a vested interest in arcane sciences- he would collect the most oddly specific things. Mother’s mentioned that he has a… prophetic inclination of sorts, that would draw him to collecting certain artifacts.”

"Mmm. I see." Connor surveys the room in a slow sweep of their eyes, pausing on the little plaques next to each trophy. “Almost makes me wish I could read,” they flatly remark.

“Don't you know every language you hear?” Thor asks.

“That doesn’t mean I can _read_ everything I see.” They shake their head, glancing back at him. "Besides which, even if I _could_ , I sure as hell wouldn't be able to read your runes. They don't teach them on Earth, or not from what I've seen." They tilt their head with a considering look. “Though I hear our diplomatic efforts are exchanging knowledge. Maybe I’ll pick it up sometime.”

While the princes talk up front, the Alfeneel stick closer to the door, scanning every inch of the room as they pass. Deinä dah Niämi, the Sun-Touched, walks slowly through the hall, fingers outstretched and searching as she passes each row of items. According to them, the Aether was versatile in its form; It was entirely possible, and probable, that it was hidden within any of the treasures contained in this room. 

_This may take a while._

“Don’t touch that.” Connor gently pushes Wolf back from the Eternal Flame. “You’ll hurt yourself.”

"To be fair," Thor grins somewhat, looking down to the red behemoth, "Most of the things in this room can and will hurt those who touch it. So long as you're careful, though, it should not be a problem to sniff."

Wolf steps back with a mild sneeze.

“Oh, _oh, what is that_ .” Connor’s eyes are bright crosshairs, fixated on the Tesseract. “ _What the fuck is that,_ **_I don’t like that._ **”

"That's the Tesseract, supposedly able to bend reality to its will. I've never seen it do so, however, so I cannot speak to the legitimacy of that claim. I suppose it _was_ used to repair the Bifrost generator on the bridge, though, but how it did so is beyond me.”

“It’s talking and I don’t like it.”

"It's _talking?"_

“Singing?” Connor hesitantly clarifies. “I… I’m not sure. _Stars_ , that’s creepy. Guess that explains why the vault feels so weird down here.”

For the first time since they entered, one of the Alfeneel (Lorahaa, wasn't it?) piped up. "It has a resonance _almost_ like our Aether. It's… peculiar, but still not what we're looking for."

“It definitely _was_ here at some point,” Niämi concedes, “but it must have been moved elsewhere.” She looks pointedly at the Tesseract. “Likely to keep it from _interacting_ with that other artifact in some way.”

Thor can't help the shudder that runs up his back. Something about the graveness in her tone and the implication of some of these items being _sentient_ did not sit well with him. He felt watched, like the room was filled with eyes, waiting and _daring_ someone to be foolish enough to take so much as a mite of dust.

"If not here, where else could it be kept? Do you have any other ideas, little prince?" Connor crosses their arms, very pointedly stepping away from the humming blue cube.

Thor strokes at his beard, trying to will the frown off his face. “The archives in the royal library. I know there’s records of tributes,” _war prizes_ , “gifts, or purchases made to the crown. Even if the Aether is not _stored_ here, it should have been noted down. I highly doubt _anyone_ would have been foolish enough to simply lose track of something so powerful.”

"Is it possible that someone put it down under a different name? If so, we should keep our eyes peeled for anything suspect in the list- It's very well possible that the past Allfather took measures to cover his tracks." Connor absently scratches Wolf's ears, fangs flexing slightly in their mouth as they think. "Everything else about this situation seems to be under wraps, I somehow doubt that it'll be so easy as _looking it up._ "

Wolf suddenly stiffens, ears perked. After a moment, so does Connor.

“What is it?” Thor nervously asks.

“Someone’s coming,” Connor flatly responds. Wolf stands up with a quick sniff and a shake of his head. “An old male aesir. Walks with a stagger, smells like you.”

_Shit._

Thor curses, tugging at his whiskers and marching towards the door. "I don't know how he caught on so fast."

“Before we panic, prince, quick question for our guests.” Connor’s gaze sweeps the armor of the Alfeneel. “How much do you need to breathe?”

=<>=

There's no warning to the Allfather's entrance. Just a loud _bang_ as the doors slam against the walls and he strides in, hand in the air and a frosty glare in his ice-blue eye.

Connor turns to Odin, lightly inclining their rider’s hat with the same neutral expression they wore on duty. “Allfather.”

“Father!” Thor smiles just a bit too loudly. _Gods, he’s dead._ “What brings you down to the vault? I hope we aren’t intruding on your affairs.”

Odin pauses, quickly scanning the room before turning a suspicious look to his heir. "What brings _you_ back to Asgard, son, without announcement? I was under the _distinct_ impression I would be informed when your campaign trail came to an end."

“Well, you see, we _were_ riding back along with everyone else, we were even almost at the usual drop off for Heimdall to-”

“ _Get to the point, boy, don’t stutter at me_.”

“Hah, yes, sir.” Thor awkwardly clears his throat. “The prince, ah-”

“Sunrose Diamond,” Connor quickly corrects, not quite looking Thor in the eyes.

“- _Sunrose_ and I rode on ahead. We’d been talking about the vault beforehand.” Thor appeasingly raises his hands at Odin’s scrutinizing frown. “Only comparing treasures, Father, nothing secret. I mentioned some of the... arcane crystals, in our collection, and they felt the need to check and ensure that none of our prizes were one of their citizens. Apparently, similar events have happened, so of course I obliged the request in the interest of the new friendship between our kingdoms.”

Connor takes in this new lie with a mechanical shutter in their eyes. 

“In our last war, 5,000 years past,” they elaborate with halting sobriety, “it had been common to store war prisoners in objects, either to interrogate them or prevent them from reforming. In the last centuries of the conflict, this extended to the injured as an act of mercy, to spare them suffering when we no longer had the means to heal them. Unfortunately, some 2,000 of our numbers remained unaccounted for by the end of the war, so we've been making sure to keep an eye out for any still stuck somewhere out in the universe. They're still completely conscious, after all." Their song trails off. “Even in pieces.”

Thor gestures over to them, nodding and trying to keep his expression somber. "So, naturally, I couldn't refuse such a reasonable request of an ally. We rode ahead of the envoy and met Heimdall earlier on, and have been looking around here since." He scratches the back of his head sheepishly. "In our haste I must have forgot to send word to you, Father. I apologize."

The Allfather stands in stunned silence for a moment, blinking. Then, slowly, he starts laughing. _Really_ laughing, not a chortle of contempt or dismissal.

_…. Do what-_

"My son." The older aesir smiles, walking up and clapping Thor on the shoulder. "My boy. Worry not, I am not angered. Far from it; Your selflessness is commendable. You have made me proud on this day, Thor."

And even as Thor answers the praise with a shy laugh of his own, there’s a growing sense of unease in his belly. “I do try.”

“I know.” He can’t quite place the strange sense of finality in his father’s smile. “And not only in this. Ever since your return to us, you have exceeded,” the hand on his shoulder gives a soft squeeze, “ _all_ my expectations. The expectations of a prince… and the duties of a _king_.”

_What?_ “What are you saying, Father?”

Odin sighs, still smiling softly. "I gave you the throne once, before, but I misjudged. It was too early- you were still learning then." He reaches up to his brow, lifting the crown from his head. "I don't believe I will make the same mistake twice, my son."

The old man looks down at the circlet in his hands, tenderly rubbing one of its peaks. "I have ruled this empire for countless centuries, Thor. I am _tired._ It’s nigh time for our people to have a new king, one still with the vitality of youth and the strength to defend our borders."

He looks back up, gazing into Thor's eyes. "It is time you ascended to the throne."

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -ten minutes later-  
> wolf: (shakes alfeneel out of his fur)  
> alfeneel: what in a gods damn,,,  
> wolf: (dog noises)


	13. All The Little Talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Az and Connor have a day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Accessibility warning for vision or reading impaired: this chapter contains minor passages with exotic formatting. These are deliberate stylistic choices and are not intended to be visually/verbally coherent.

* * *

"No!” Connor flinches back at his own tone, trying not to let the red streaking on his face show _too_ much. “No,” he starts again, looking everywhere but the roses, “not that… not that kind of flower." He doesn’t need to look at himself to feel the tinge of Diamond’s fire sparking along his thorns.

It’s fine. _It’s fine._ He’s over it, okay? He can look at a few fucking _plants_ without feeling like he was gonna shatter himself from the stress.

( _Maybe_ the fact that looking at a few spare roses is enough to make him fight the urge to bolt is a bit of a problem. What are you, a Zircon?)

It’s not like Rose Quartz is gonna jump him around the next corner. It’s just ~~Dad’s~~ Az’s garden. ~~If there were anywhere he was safe, it was here.~~

_It’s just Az, that’s all._

"Dad,” _stop calling him that, you’re being weird,_ “can you help me choose some flowers and plants that _aren't_ roses?"

If Az even notices the slip, he doesn’t point it out (he never does), just riding out Connor’s question with a slow, steady blink. "Fair enough, I guess. They won't do too strong in the cold anyway, not as a starter."

“No roses on Mars, _ever_.”

_Is that a Diamond decree? Feels like it is._

**I don’t know, probably.**

Az kneels down next to a cluster of herb-looking plants. Connor really should ask for the proper names of these things sometime, it's probably important.

_Important how?_

**_He_ ** **cares about them.**

_I guess._

**And he's taking the time to show us** **_why._ **

"Flowers aren't high priority at the moment anyways,” Az’s song cuts through Connor’s thoughts. “We'll want some groundcover to start with, it'll show us where the pre-existing fertile areas are and dig the soil up to a better state. You can start off with thymes." His eyes brighten, almost. "Maybe some angelina. The kind we've got here turns a nice red in winter temperatures."

Connor looks at the golden-reds of the branches and leaves. “It _is_ nice. I could see entire fields of this.”

“Yes, I thought you might like them.”

"And what are those called?" Connor asks, pointing to the stems Az was tending to. "I don't think I've ever seen them."

"That's a sage. It _can_ grow in cold weather, but it needs a summer climate to start it off, so it won't do for a first growth."

"I see. So there'll be different rotations of crops for different seasons, both in harvest _and_ planting?"

“Even for things that aren’t harvested, there’s a bit of a cycle involved. That’s just the nature of these kinds of things.” White claws lightly scratch at the rough, thin leaves, taking in the pale texture with a scrutinizing touch. “An endless give and take, y’know?”

"Yeah, that makes sense." _Kind of, anyway._

A give and a take. A rise and a fall… _and a fall and a fall and a fall and a fall fall fall fall fall you’re falling you know that right you’re falling AND YOU CAN’T FUCKING STOP IT-_

Connor clears his throat roughly. "Hey, uh, D-d-” his song glitches in on itself for a bit. “ _Az_ , uh- do… do you think I should try therapy again?"

Az's eyes shutter as he takes in Connor's words. "So you _did_ stop,” he bluntly notes. “I thought you might have, but I didn't want to ask."

“Sorry.”

“It’s alright.” Az leans back, taking in the question like it actually mattered. (Maybe it did.) "You _can_ , if you want. It might do you some good to try again." He summons a small sickle into his hand, closing in on a branch of thyme. "But you're in a better place than you started. If you want to work through yourself on your own, that'll be alright."

“315,” Connor blurts out. “That’s how many times she- I- I _asked_ her to stop, but she just _wouldn’t_ , _I_ couldn’t- _I-_ ” His song cuts away with an aborted laugh. ~~Yeah, that's what it was, just a laugh, totally not covering anything up there, no siree.~~ (It’s not like he’s gonna fucking _cry about it_.)

“Fuck,” he whispers, “why am I even telling you this? You already know what happened next. I just… skipped the next appointment. And then the campaign happened, and I had an _excuse_ not to follow up, I just _kept_ not following up, until I never went back.”

Az sighs. “If that’s how it was, I guess I can’t blame you for stopping.”

“I think I was a really shitty patient. I know she was- I know she was _trying_ , but she kept trying to _make me_ go through all that stuff again, and I-” 

“Hey, hey. That’s not your fault. Not every therapist works for everyone.” Az looks off to the side. “Different people need different things. That’s not bad, that’s just how it is.”

Connor pauses, thinking for a moment before looking up with a hopeful expression. "Do you think I could ask Adya, then? She was… that’s what she did, uh- _before,_ right? In that other time? That worked out, didn’t it?”

One of Az’s eyes twitches visibly at the question- Connor must have prompted another time memory. "It's okay to talk to her,” he slowly sounds, “but it won't be good for either of you to ask her to _fix_ you. The way you are now- the way you _both_ are now- is already fine."

"Then how should I go about this? I can't go back to _Zircon_ , I almost lost my mind in there.” His fangs flex a little, hands trembling at the thought. _It's no better than what I'm already doing to myself._ “Seriously, I think I was _this_ close to taking after you and going off the deep end.”

Before Az can respond, Connor’s comm goes off in his pocket. He stiffens. _Not again, not now._ Az doesn’t even talk about it, only silently raising his eyebrow at Connor, an unspoken question about the disturbance.

Connor lets out an unsteady laugh. “Speak of the pebble. There she goes again.” A pitifully despairing note enters the flat set of his song. “ _Help me, please._ ”

Az makes no move to take the comm out of Connor’s hands, but his eyes quietly shift with some swift movement of files. The messages suddenly cut off.

Connor allows himself a shaking sigh that may or may not be relief, and Az doesn’t push it (he never does), simply going back to their earlier conversation like they’d never been interrupted at all. 

“I’ll take another look," Az gently offers, "see if anyone jumps out as a better fit. Okay?”

“...Okay.”

“Good.” Az lightly claps his gloves together. "Now, from Loki's last report, I hear the aquatic terraforming is mostly complete. Have all the water plants taken properly?"

"Pretty much.”

Az hums lightly and turns on his heel, walking along the many, _many_ waterways of his garden. Connor watches the shiny echoes of fish follow at their footsteps. "If the aquatic phase is nearly finished, we can start introducing animals. These garden fish will take well to any crop farms and water bodies we put them too, and we'll have to introduce some smaller animals like crustaceans, too."

Connor can’t help but randomly imagine a Mars _flooded_ with crabs, and tries to figure out whether that’s a good thought or not.

But the fish really _are_ pretty. They’re just… round. And shiny. And colorful.

Maybe the simple wide-eyed wonder on Connor's face as he watched the swimming creatures was a little too obvious, with the knowing tilt of the smile Az spares for him. "You can pick out the starters if you want,” he gently adds. “You'll only need a few, they populate pretty fast in empty spaces. But we've got a lot of colors and shapes to work with, so you can pick what you think fits."

He gravitates to the red ones- he’s nothing if not predictable with his tastes, and Mars is a _red_ planet, after all.

"You wanna help feed them?" Az drifts a bag of dried food over. ""They don't need much, but," he briefly laughs, "they'll eat anything. It's kind of nice to watch them tear things apart. They even let us pet them if we get too close to the water."

It's nice, Connor supposes, to watch the stuff float on the water, bobbing against the movements of the fish. The red ones seem to like him as much as he likes them, and when his hand skirts the surface of the water, he's met by one with wolfish golden eyes.

"I was thinking,” Connor brings up. "What if I let Wolf free roam for a while with a pack, maybe let them get a family started on the planet? It's his world too, y'know, there's no reason he should be lonely."

“It is a nice thought, but no.” There’s a sad tilt in Az’s expression. “None of the unbroken have ever really had kids, from what I’ve seen. I don’t think they can.”

"... Oh.” That’s… sad, isn’t it? Az seems sad about it. Connor… feels sad about it…? 

He’s not really sure. He just feels… tired, all of the sudden. Wait, no, _that’s bad, he can’t get tired, that’s bad, he..._

He needs a drink right about now, doesn’t he?

Before Az can even ask about the random flask Connor’s randomly pulled from his gem, he’s already drank up half the stuff inside. He blinks harshly a few times, willing the spike of red in his eyes to go down. “ _Fuck_ ,” he breathes, vigorously shaking his head, “that always bites.”

Az’s dark eyes are slowly focusing _very_ intently on Connor. (Haha, wow, everything’s focused, really. What’s up with that?) “What was that just now?”

“It’s _fine_ , _it’s fine_ , Dad,” _FUCKING STOP THAT_ , “I just needed that real quick.”

He just needed it. He needs alot of things. He needs so much stuff, _he could do so much stuff right now, it’s fantastic._

"Hey.” He pokes at Az’s shoulder ( _don’t fucking do that._ ) “Hey, we should totally build a mecha that can fight Jasper.” Oh stars, he can _feel_ the pitch hitting his song like a truck. “Ooo, we should build 10 mechas that can fight your Jasper.”

The laugh bubbling from his gut is a bit more hysterical than he’d like, but fuck it, _he’s absolutely hilarious, his brain can fuck off._ “Maybe I can spar with White, and fucking uuuuuuuhhh…. grind her head into the ground for all she put you through!" A manic, menacing gleam creeps into his eyes. " _Maybe I should invite Patti over for tea, that'd be_ _fun._ "

“ _Okay there_ ,” Az’s song cuts with a graveness it usually doesn’t have, “maybe ease off the yellow.”

"But _why?_ " Connor frowns, face scrunching up unattractively. "It’s helping. It’s _helping_ , it’s-it’s-it’s-”

There’s a _look_ on Az’s face now. It’s… mad? _Sad?_

_Why is it sad?_

**No, no, we shouldn’t-**

_Why would you-_

_Disappointment._

“Did I…” Connor’s song wavers, “did I do something wrong?”

_Did it wrong did it wrong am I bad wrong wrong wrong-_

“There’s the crash,” Az resignedly sighs, gently taking the flask out of Connor’s hands. “Let me see that.”

“...Did I do something wrong?”

“Just- just gimme a sec.” Az mechanically opens up the bottle and quickly downs a spot of the blend himself, eyes sparking with a pink that covers his whole body for a split second before it winds down. “ _Yep_ , that’s the yellow. And a pink. And _some_ kind of condensed stuff, is this one of _Peridot’s_ blends?”

“I, uh- I don’t-” _I can’t remember, fuck._

_Why can't I remember??_

“What’s- why don’t I- what’s happening-” _What-why-what-why-_

“Hey, hey.” Az gently holds Connor’s face. “Nothing’s wrong. You took too much and you’re crashing. It’ll wear off, alright?”

Connor's eyes glaze over and become shot with gold and pink starbursts, washing out any lucidity he may have had before suddenly disappearing, leaving him to pick himself up piece by piece.

“You alright?” Az softly asks.

"... ₙₒ...“

_We’re dead_

**We’re dead.**

_Oh. we’re so fucking dead._

Az shifts his hands down to Connor’s shoulders. “I’m not mad, okay? You’re not in trouble, you didn’t know. I don’t need to know where you got it. Can you just tell me why?”

"ᵢ… I've been having n-nightmares. I can’t sleep.”

“Are you taking that to _try_ and sleep?” Az questions with a raised brow. “Because I think you’re going the opposite direction.”

“I _can’t_ sleep. I can’t-” his song hitches, tiny teardrops welling up in the corners of his eyes, “I can’t close my eyes and _see all the_ -the-the labs, and t-the cells, the-” _shards and the guns and the knives and the needles and the blood and the screams,_ “-I _can’t_.”

“...You’re afraid to sleep,” Az puts together. “Because you’re afraid of the nightmares.”

“I don’t need to sleep if I just take the-”

"The bugs you're gonna get when that stuff crashes on you is gonna make you _wish_ you had nightmares, alright?” Az interrupts. “Lay off the yellow.”

“It helps _Peridot_ ,” Connor grumbles, not meeting his eyes.

“Peridot doesn’t need to sleep, and she doesn’t have nightmares when she does. Just because it’s good for her doesn’t mean it’s good for _you,_ especially not the way you’re using it.” Az’s hands methodically roam Connor’s arms, his wrists, hovering around his eyes. “We need to sleep. Putting it off for too long when you’re having nightmares is going to make it worse. How long have you been on this?”

“Since I… since I got back.”

A sigh. “You had the right idea, but you were on the wrong stuff. Switch off to a blue-white for a bit, alright? It’ll cut off the nightmares, and it’ll get rid of all the… _manic_ that comes with Peridot’s concoctions.”

“Okay,” Connor shakily replies.

"It's worked for me, when I've had bad nightmares. And, uh..." Az looks off to the side. "Not sleeping alone can help, too. I'm gonna guess this was less a problem when Wolf was basically your bed the entire Asgardian trip."

“Yeah,” Connor shyly admits. “It was.”

"Figures. Having Lion with me helps, too. It's good to have someone you trust with you."

"... I should get Adya."

“If she’s okay with that, it’s a good idea. Having someone you trust helps.” Az gives another sweeping look at Connor’s- well, everything, really. “But I think you can try that another day. I think the sleep debt is creeping up on you.”

“Fuck,” Connor unsteadily whispers, hanging his head, “I got us off track from all the work, I’m sorry.” 

“It’s fine. We can take care of it later.” A doorway shows up next to them. “For now, we can just try and get you to sleep.”

It’s weird. Az has been to Caercagna so many times, but Connor isn’t sure he’s ever been in Az’s room before- at least _as a room_ , and not as an office. He doesn’t know why he expected the place to be fancier like the offices were. But instead, it just looks round and _soft_ , down to the curtains hanging around a bed just as inhumanly circular as Connor’s own back home.

It’s kind of nice. (It's _really_ nice.)

“I can’t-” Connor’s head dips onto Az’s shoulder. “- _I can’t just take your bed._ ”

“It’s my bed, I’ll do what I want with it.” Az lightly taps the blankets, beckoning Wolf to follow. “It’s as big as I feel like it, anyways, so it’s not like you’ll be kicking me out if I suddenly decide to sleep.”

“Hmm.”

One quick, _small_ sip of blue-white later (with a pointed note from Az that he’ll be telling Peridot to cut Connor off from her wares), Connor’s been laid out next to Wolf.

At some point, Az had joined him on the bed, quietly sitting against Lion while he went through his other work.

“ _Dad_ ,” he weakly calls, mind too tired to correct the mistake.

Az lightly looks down, not pointing out the slip. (He never does.)

"'u…" Connor swallows thickly, searching for words in his addled state, "You made sure the GEF n'vr 'app'ned this time, right?"

(Like a child, so small and fragile.)

“Yeah.” A light twitch in Az’s eye. “I did.”

“How?” He asks, rolling over to see him better. “You never… you n’vr talked ‘bout it. How could you...”

“ _Don’t make me talk about it_ .” Az’s song grows small. “ _Please, I-_ **_we can’t_ **.” A dullness passes over his eyes- a moment, then gone. “I can’t… think about it. I physically can’t.”

"... 'm s'rry…"

“Shh, shh.” Az tiredly soothes at Connor’s hand. “They never happened, okay? They never will.”

"... 'kay…" Connor gently tugs on his fingers, nuzzling into the pillows. "T'nk 'u…."

_For you,_ a gentle diamondsong hovers as Connor drifts away, _for you, the world._

* * *


	14. For You, The World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anything, for you.

* * *

**AD**

There’s an Angel Aura Quartz.

If you’re willing to try again.

I am

She’s…

She knows what it’s like.

Corruption, war, that kind of stuff.

She might be a better fit for you this time around.

Can you set us up

I can see her i just don’t know if i can

Uh

Arrange with her yet

Should be easy enough.

  
  


I’ll try again

I want to try i

I can’t lose it

I can’t go dragon, i can’t go like HIM

I

I just can’t

Please

I want to be better

For what it’s worth,

I don’t think you will go that route.

I mean, that’s what happened to ME, and

you’re already doing better than I ever did before i

well

I’m sure the history books could tell you all about that.

But enough about all that. I’m glad you’re trying again.

Az?

Thank you. 

For everything.

I couldn't do this without you.

  
  


As I said. For you, the world.

* * *


	15. Open Lines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A completely serious conversation

* * *

**DIRECT DIAMOND LINE**

**REPORTING:** His Umbrance, Sunrose Diamond

 **TO:** Allfather Apparent, Thor Odinson

**REGARDING:** Diamond Line

_I've finally gotten around to getting patched those Asgardian runes of yours. Hope my writing isn't too shabby._

=<>=

**REPORTING:** Allfather Apparent, Thor Odinson

 **TO:** His Umbrance, Sunrose Diamond

**REGARDING:** Diamond Line

_Better than mine, I'd say! Though it's a bit difficult working around your Diamond Line communicators, I've had to bother that envoy of yours a few times before I wrangled it for myself._

=<>=

**REPORTING:** His Umbrance, Sunrose Diamond

 **TO:** Allfather Apparent, Thor Odinson

**REGARDING:** Diamond Line

_Pink Pearl has the patience of a saint._

=<>=

**REPORTING:** Allfather Apparent, Thor Odinson

 **TO:** His Umbrance, Sunrose Diamond

**REGARDING:** Diamond Line

_That Her Excellency does. She deserves every praise she gets._

_How have our runes been treating you? I understand it's difficult to learn as a secondary language due to not being as phonic dependent as normal languages._

=<>=

**REPORTING:** His Umbrance, Sunrose Diamond

 **TO:** Allfather Apparent, Thor Odinson

**REGARDING:** Diamond Line

_Gem writing is much the same, so it's not too big of a leap. Besides, it was less of a learning curve and more of a transfer of information. Gems are a bit like machines, after all._

_How have you been, little prince? I've hardly heard from you since I left._

=<>=

**REPORTING:** Allfather Apparent, Thor Odinson

 **TO:** His Umbrance, Sunrose Diamond

**REGARDING:** Diamond Line

_I'm due to be crowned, you know. You can stop calling me little prince._

=<>=

**REPORTING:** His Umbrance, Sunrose Diamond

 **TO:** Allfather Apparent, Thor Odinson

**REGARDING:** Diamond Line

_You are a prince and you are smaller than me._

=<>=

**REPORTING:** Allfather Apparent, Thor Odinson

 **TO:** His Umbrance, Sunrose Diamond

**REGARDING:** Diamond Line

_I will be sitting there, crown on my head, and I will properly order you to call me literally anything else._

=<>=

**REPORTING:** His Umbrance, Sunrose Diamond

 **TO:** Allfather Apparent, Thor Odinson

**REGARDING:** Diamond Line

_I'd like to see you try, little prince._

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And Thor never answered to how he was doing.


	16. 25 Strings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor's sudden Clarity.

* * *

**AD**

We’re going out.

Eh

We’re going to Homeworld real quick.

Can I bring Wolf and Sunrise

I’m taking Lion and Jasper.

* * *

“Am I allowed to ask _why_ we’re heading out or is this one of those family roadtrip things I’ve been hearing about?” Connor dryly asks.

Az shoulders his cloak, white hat shadowing his eyes in what probably would have been a creepy way if not for the inherent softness of his expression. "You're going to have to see Homeworld at _some_ point, but we're going for court reasons this time.” Az easily crosses his arms, lightly tapping on his sleeve with his claws. “One of Blue's kindergartens came out with a vein of Sapphires and they're due for presentation."

"Presentation? Like to see who they go to?"

“Ah, not quite.” 

"What sort of presentation is it, then? Are they pulling out a powerpoint of futures?" Connor chuckles a little at his joke.

“No, no. Not like that,” Az almost laughs. “When a Gem emerges for the first time,” he starts again as they all fall into the warpstream, “they go through gradings against their caste to gauge their resilience, the fit to standard, potential clouding. A Sapphire goes through several clarity tests to grade their calculative abilities and the final one is to be directly presented to the Diamonds themselves." Az's mouth twitches with a dry smile. "We tend to obscure their clarity. Freaks out the little ones, but it's an experience they need."

"Ah, so we're part of their testing. I see." Conner looks over at him, head cocked. "So what am I supposed to do? Just observe?"

“I’ll get to that,” Az gently deflects as the warp in. (Sunrise needs a steady arm from Jasper to stick the landing, but other than that it’s fine.) “But we’ll have to _be there_ on time first.”

Homeworld isn’t like Earth. Connor doesn’t know why he expected it to be. Maybe he thought it’d be similar to Little Homeworld, or close enough. But it’s not- unlike the neat streets and small houses of LH, _Homeworld_ is dense, crawling with structures that gouge down into the earth, others reaching for the eternally twilit sky. 

The sprawling gardens breaking out of the pristine stone world are strange, but the general aesthetic is _familiar_ in what he’s starting to recognize as the Gem eye for design. Maybe his first impression wasn’t quite right- maybe the Gem parts of Earth _will_ look like this, in time.

"It's _huge,"_ Sunrise whispers. She and Jasper follow closely behind as their Diamonds walk towards the center of the rocky cityscape.

“It would have been a bit faster to take the Diamond warps-”

“And more _discreet_ , too, I imagine,” Jasper dryly interrupts Az with a pointed glance at the stares of passing Gems. (For Az, mostly. Of course they are. But some are for Connor, too, and he fights the urge to tug down his hat even further.)

“- _but_ ,” Az smoothly continues, like he’d never been interrupted at all, “I thought you might like to take the scenic route, have a bit of a look around. It's certainly a sight to behold, especially the first time."

Getting into the palace isn’t anything grand or monumentous, not at all the way Asgard might have done it. Az simply checks in with a terminal at the warp station, and a pod large enough for the six of them quickly makes its way over to take them.

The attendants had taken a look over their files and given _him_ a salute, too. _Stars above_. He’d sink through the floor if he could.

"How did you get used to it all? The formalities, the palace, the _people?_ " Connor scratches the back of his forearm, mouth working a bit.

“You don’t,” Az grimly smiles. “Gems are like clockwork. You slide into place with the rest of it.” Az looks down at the moving landscape below- the lights, the ships, the Gems watching the pod pass by above their heads like another part of the grand machine. “I know it’s a lot, but it’s not really for _us_. This is how Gems process our place in their universe, how they express their feelings to us. It’s different for friends and family, but for the average Gem? It helps to have a script.”

_Like playing a role, huh? Maybe Thor knew more about this than I'd initially thought._

"It's just so _weird_ , Az. I half expected they wouldn't even look at me."

“You’re starting to give them reasons to look. It was bound to happen eventually.”

The palaces are _tall_ . Not overly so, not from the outside, but it’s something more obvious when they touch down to the ground. Wide halls, vaulted ceilings. It makes a sort of sense- the Diamonds used to be pretty tall, and going by the amount of Gems scurrying even _into the walls_ , these places are primed to host a lot of people.

They breeze by different entrances, all of them a bit too obviously color coded- and he could have sworn he saw a flash of _something_ next to Az’s wing before they simply walked past that, too. There’s just… so much _everything_ to take in. Even poor Wolf has to watch his steps so as to not scurry over Pebbles as they flit through floors and walls. (He’s pretty sure the walls have faces. And eyes. _What the actual fuck._ )

"Um, _are there Gems in the walls?_ ”

“If it helps- probably not- they’re not in the walls. They _are_ the walls. There’s, uh…” Az tents his hands under his face. “...there’s _creations_ , that are _like_ Gems, that are made with Gem methods, but they aren’t made to be _Gems_. More like computers?”

"Aren't we all basically just computers though?"

“I mean in the _elevators and security cameras_ kind of way,” Az clarifies. “It’s a weird kinda field, I could send you some reading stuff for it later if you want.”

_This day just keeps getting weirder._ "Sure, I guess. I've gotta learn all this stuff anyway, right?"

“Sooner or later. _But anyways,_ ” Az abruptly segways, “throne room, here we are.”

With _that_ descriptive introduction, Az randomly ducks into a curtained room, Lion and Jasper smoothly following suit. As Connor hesitantly steps after him, he looks up and sees small flying Gems (Aquamarines, if he recalls), lifting back the fabric to let him pass.

It’s as tall and open as any other part of the place- maybe a bit long like a hallway, maybe a bit more pillars than other parts he’s seen. There’s a wide soft walkway and…

Connor freezes. _What?_

“Oh,” Az idly notes. “They’ve already completed the thrones.”

The thrones. Well of course there were going to be thrones, _it’s a fucking throne room_ . He knew that. _He expected that_ . The thrones are… maybe smaller than he thought they’d be, going off the old pictures? ( _Stupid, of course they did, the other Diamonds are smaller now.)_ Angular, monochrome pieces, at least to a mortal eye- any Gem could see how the subtle engravings are inlaid with a decidedly _unsubtle_ capiz, each carefully selected to match the elusive, star-ridden colors of their respective Diamond.

  
  


Yellow and Blue’s were set with stairs on opposite sites, White’s ominously set into the very walls above them all. But Yellow and Blue’s seats are farther apart then they used to be. Az’s throne is moved to the side, and at his right hand-

There’s another throne.

_They had made him a throne._

"I think it turned out nicely," Az lightly compliments, not quite catching Connor’s shellshock. "I'm sure it'll go through some changes, but it's a good starting point."

_What in the damn-_

**When did this start??** **_Why_ ** **did this start??**

 _Oh stars oh fuck this is gonna be all official we are_ _not_ _prepared for this-_

“I…” _Fuck, of all the times for his song to start breaking up again,_ “I d-don’t-”

Az’s eyes turn to him at the stutter (catching Connor again, as he always does), turning back towards him. “...It's alright if you don't like it,” he offers. “Really, I just wanted you to sit with us, I'm sure we can make a better one later if you want."

"I-It isn't that. I am just not sure I-” _Dammit, keep it together_ , “-I’m not sure I’ve…” _deserved it, you don’t fucking deserve it_ , “-that I’ve _earned_ it, I guess.” Connor admitted. "I mean you’ve all done so much stuff. I’ve only really done _one_ campaign. "

“And a new colony.”

“A colony that’s been in your hands longer than it’s been in mine,” Connor corrects. "All I've done is pick _colors_ , and even then _you_ gave me options to choose from."

Az sighs. He looks off to where Sunrise and Jasper are hanging back by the pillars. Jasper just might be teaching the younger Quartz how to read- or just make fun of the fancy words of an empty room.

“If we’ve done more,” Az starts, “it’s only because we’ve had longer to do it.” He smiles- tired, gentle (always tired). “Think of it less like a reward for something you've _done_ and... more of a respect for what you _will_ do. You don't need to _deserve it_ , per se, but you can grow into it, in time."

Connor swallows, blinking nervously. _Well, if you don't sit, you'll look like a fool for this entire time. Might as well. Brace yourself._

"Alright. If you're sure." He smiles, maybe a bit nervously, as he haltingly makes his way to the throne ( _his throne_ , what the _fuck_ ). “I guess I just wasn’t really expecting it. I mean, Thor and his brothers just get to _stand_ next to the throne.”

“I imagine that’s changing. He’s due to be the Allfather soon, isn’t he?”

" _Still_ . You get my point." Connor coughs awkwardly into his fist as he sits down. “I got invited to that, by the way. The, uh- coronation. It’s also a wedding?” He squints, shifting in his seat. “I think. I was… thinking we should _all_ probably go? Y'know, diplomacy and allies of the new king and all that. It'd do good for politics."

“You _are_ allowed to just go as a friend, Connor.” Az lightly tilts his head with the thought. “Not that what you’re saying is a bad idea, either.” He moves to sit down in his own seat, leaning into it with all the casual irreverence of his office chairs. “Bring it up with the others again when they show.”

“Where _are_ the others, anyway?” Connor looks around the (mostly) empty room, as if three entire Diamonds could manifest behind any stray corner. “I thought we’d be the last to show up, since you said we were running late."

“I wanted us to show up first so we’d have more time to fill you in. Blue and Yellow usually arrive together, but White might arrive last. She tends to keep more busywork these days than she used to.” Az rocks his head down some mental list. “Yellow, and Blue, their Pearls… White doesn’t keep anyone with her in these kind of meetings except Spinel sometimes, but I doubt Spinel will be here for this.”

Az gestures loosely in the space between his and Connor’s thrones. “Lion and Wolf sit between us, the Jaspers stand on the outer edge, the Pearls are by Blue and Yellow’s.” He looks briefly to Sunrise. “You don’t have to stay quiet the whole time, but if you have something to say just lean over and whisper to Connor. We don’t want to break the flow of the conversation.”

Sunrise nods seriously, standing up a little straighter. "Yes, Your Radiance."

Lion ambles over to lounge by Az’s seat, but as Wolf follows suit he leans over with some very pointed hand licks.

“Oh stars, he’s trying to kisscode at you, isn’t he?” Connor slumps down in his seat, like the crumpling of his cloak could drown him. “He figured out he could do that and now he does it at _everyone_. Apparently he has a lot to say.”

Wolf gives him a droll look, literally sticking his tongue out at him before slorping away again at Az's fingers.

“He certainly has a lot of,” Az chuffs with a light laugh, “ _very strong diplomatic opinions_.”

"He's a very well-informed wolf, my son.” Connor flatly responds.

“Here I thought Lion was just a weirdo,” Az leans over his seat to teasingly glance at Lion. 

Lion eloquently yawns and thumps his tail in response. Wolf sniffs at him briefly, then ambles over to Connor's side and flops down, panting.

"Well hello there, sir.“ Connor smiles, scratching his ears. That always helped calm him down.

“Canine voting opinions aside,” Az segways, silently stowing away his cloak and hat back into his gem like an afterthought, “we’re not doing any big speech kinda stuff for this. We say hello to the Sapphires and proctors-”

“Proctors?”

“They _are_ being tested. It’s Kindergarteners, mostly. It’s _Your Clarity_ for the Sapphires but if you want to be more general and say _My Gems_ -”

“ _My Gems?_ ” Connor repeats with a current of shock cutting through his song. _"Isn't that basically yelling 'You people' in the middle of a test??"_

“No, no,” Az softly corrects, “it’s more of a general spoken _my_ . All the people of the Empire are _my_ for us, Gem or otherwise. Some more than others, of course,” Az adds with a quick glance in Jasper’s direction (with her pridefully straightening in response, her gem glinting with deep golden light), “but they’re _all_ ours, one way or another.”

“I’m not gonna have to say some kind of special _thing_ , am I?” Connor nervously asks. "No announcements or anything, yeah?"

“We don’t really have to talk to them past saying hello. After the introductions, we’ll just get up and walk around them for a bit so the proctors can see how they handle it.” Az’s mouth sets to a flat, careful line. “If you freeze up, you can just follow our lead or pop into my head for questions, alright? These Gems are new, and so are you, so no one’s really going to notice if you get weird unless you point it out.”

_Well, at least I won't be the only one who doesn't know what's going on here._

Connor slowly remembers to take after Az’s example, sitting a bit more casually and unsummoning his hat and cloak. (Though the gut instinct to pull his hat down so hard his hair covers his eyes remains an ongoing temptation.)

It’s kind of quiet now.

It’s kind of freaking him out a little.

“ _So!_ “ Connor puts his head on one hand as he half turns to Az. “What other kind of stuff do we do here?”

“We do public events, dances.” Az’s song twitches on the word _dance_ like an uncomfortable memory. “This Era, the throne room is used for a lot of recording, actually.”

Connor blinks. "What's filmed on Homeworld?"

“We do public broadcasts from here pretty regularly? Like speeches and news recaps, that kinda stuff. They used to do it only for certain stuff, but I put in the habit of doing it more often. Our Gems like to hear our voices, it’s good for them.” Az sweeps his hand with a mock flourish. “Imagine bedtime stories, but for like a trillion kids.”

"... Huh. I'd probably have never thought of that, honestly. That's a good way of keeping them happy."

“You’ll be joining that stuff too, eventually.” Az raises his hands with an easing gesture. “ _Eventually_ , Connor, I’m not saying now.” Was his panic _that_ obvious? Ugh. “It’ll be a good way for them to get used to you, y’know, when you’re colony’s a little more settled."

Connor pauses at that, struck by a thought. "... Hey, Az?" he hesitantly starts. "What're the chances that I could have one of these Sapphires appointed to me? Having a Clarity could be a big help in decision-making for Mars." He looks over, seeming a little nervous to ask. "I know I still don't really have enough to call my group a true _court_ yet, but that could be a big step in making it into one."

“You’ve got more court than you think,” Az points out. “It’s common for many colony builders to stay there once it’s completed, and there’s already Gems expressing interest in filling up service jobs for when Mars is ready to take people. But still, looking for a Sapphire to court is a good idea.” He taps idle claws on his face. “Not many Sapphire clarities can push past a Diamond, but the ones that can are worth keeping close. If anyone sticks out to you, there’s no reason why not.”

Connor nods, rubbing his chin. "I'll keep an eye out for one. Wolf." The _stal_ perks up, "You keep a lookout as well. Lick me if any seem interesting to you."

Az glances aside. “If you are up for building up court, we could start including you in the Kindergarten tours. Each planet can only make certain kinds of Gems, so sometimes we’ll take a look at each others’, see if anything catches our eye.”

“That might be nice, I guess. Let's see how today goes before I commit, though."

“Fair enough.” Az turns back to face the entrance, while Lion and Jasper tense, now alert. “But look alive, I think we’re finally _on time_.”

Connor swallows, setting his face. He'd only met the Diamonds a few times, so he had no clue how they'd be with him today.

Slowly but surely, the Diamonds eventually make their quiet entrance as Aquamarine handmaids pull back the curtains. Blue and Yellow are walking arm in arm, just like Az said they would, holding matching gloved hands. (Are they married? Connor never actually asked.) White trails quietly behind on her formidable heels.

_White’s being more quiet than usual,_ Az’s song silently hums in Connor’s head.

" _Steven!_ " White’s song dramatically rolls with a blatantly Diamond tilt, "good to see you again!"

_Or maybe not so quiet,_ Connor can almost hear Az sigh. _That's fine too._

"It _has_ been a while since you've come here," Yellow bluntly notes.

"And with..." Blue squints lightly at the other occupied throne. "Oh! Hello again, Connor. It's nice to see you doing well. Are you joining us for the presentation?"

He does his best not to flinch. Blue was always the nicest of them. "I am. I'm sure seeing so many Sapphires will be an educational experience in it of itself, nevermind the court experience."

“Sapphires _are_ quite intriguing calculators,” Yellow agrees, “even beyond the traditional application of prediction.”

_Don’t forget about your invitation,_ Sten reminds.

 **With the work related sidetracking we’re bound to fall into after this,** Vendan drily elaborates, **now would be the only time.**

_Alright, I'll ask now._ "By the way, Thor Odinson is being coronated and wed in the upcoming months. He has extended an invitation to me, and I was wondering if you all would like to join me to extend the Empire's support of his reign?"

_Stars, we probably should have made that more assertive or something._

**And then we made it sound like a question afterwords? Jeez.**

“Another wedding?” Blue asks with a raised eyebrow.

“And a diplomatic venture with every single one of Asgard’s connections, all in one,” Az trills lightly.

"It has been a while since we've really gone out and had a _day_ ," White admits. "It can't do any harm to visit a little friend of yours."

_Oh shit that actually worked._

“Hah, yeah,” Connor’s song tries not to waver, “that was the idea.”

It’s an odd experience when the other Diamonds are finally all put to their proper places, and odder still to be _part_ of that ensemble, but Connor can’t say it’s _bad_ , really. (Maybe it's even nice.)

Even if him and Yellow have gone down an odd, winding tangent about how the principles of rationing in crisis and scarcity can be applied to more effective placement of Gem incubations in Kindergartens. He doesn’t know how he got there, either, okay? At least it's interesting.

He almost forgets there was anything else to the event at all until the Aquamarines are pulling back the curtains again.

_Oh, right. Stuff, and things._

**How descriptive.**

_Yes, fuck you too, Thorn._

"At your leisure, My Diamonds," an almond eyed Agate announces past his mental conflict, "the presentation of the Clarities."

At White's nod, the Agate's heels click against the concrete, followed by five Peridots and a gold tinged Sapphire- these must be the proctors from Blue's court.

"My Diamonds," the Sapphire lightly curtsies. “Your Umbrance,” she tilts her head lightly in Connor's direction. "An honor to be in your collective presence. The bounty of the latest vein has graced the Empire with 25 new Sapphires for your inspection."

"A wondrous harvest, Your Clarity," Blue congratulates. "Bring them here."

Gently herded in by a small cluster of Ruby guards, the new Sapphires shuffle in on their round little dresses. They look nervous- some even look a little frightened under their blinding hair.

_They look kind of freaked out_ , Connor’s song lightly whispers through Az’s head. _Is something wrong?_

_Nothing's wrong_ , Az silently reassures Connor. _They're just not used to our interference with their Vision, it'll fade. Imagine if someone with amazing eyesight got plunged into a dark room- suddenly not being able to see anything is naturally going to be disorienting for them._

_Is that… okay for them?_ Connor hesitantly questions.

_It’s something they have to learn_ , Az insists. _They need to learn their Sight isn’t always perfect, or they’ll get into bad habits. Make lazier calculations._

By this point, the other Diamonds have already started inspecting the newcomers, Blue standing and gently talking to a few of them in turn.

“It’s always nice to be around newer Gems,” Az states with a certain softness. “You can kind of hear their minds, their songs shifting and growing.” 

Connor tilts his head, tuning into the cluster of Gems. His eyes widen.

Songs. 25 tiny little songs, daring to whisper to life.

_Wow. They're literally developing before our eyes, making new strings of song._

**Babies.**

_How astute._

**Fuck off.**

Az stands, with all the ease of a cat deigning to leave its perch, just barely extending his hand to Connor. “Shall we have a look?”

Song still ringing with twenty-five strings, each just as confused and hesitant and curiously _alive_ as his own, Sunrose Diamond dares to leave his throne.

* * *


	17. Courted Lady

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Newborn Gems**
> 
> _Newly emerged Gems have very minimal personality outside of the natural temperament of their caste, mechanically following their pre-programmed scripts to interact with the world until encounters with increased stimuli over time force them to adapt, develop, and deviate from script, thus slowly growing into individual people._
> 
> _New emergences also largely lack emotional affect until observing it in others. It is considered important to Gem development for the young to undergo a variety of novel experiences, to encourage their mental and emotional growth. A Gems first smile, laughter- yes, even tears- are all considered valuable and precious milestones to celebrate._

* * *

"I WHAT?"

"I know!" Zircon Inclusion Sapphire Facet-BP3D Trigon-41 lightly claps her hands together, the picture of composed delight. Her rich blue eye shines with golden flecks against her demure smile. "Isn't it exciting?

"But-" Sunset Sapphire hesitates, "-I didn't even do anything special, I just-"

=<>=

_"You've been staring," Sunrose Diamond whispers._

_It's too late to look away. It would be admitting some kind of guilt if she did, so instead she boldly stares on ahead, not quite breaking away from the other Sapphires._

_A rosy, broad hand extends its invitation. "Come here." It is not a request. "Let me see you."_

_Floating a bit more than she probably should, she shyly ambles near._

_She can't quite see. She can't quite See. It's a strange sensation that only magnifies as she draws closer to the Diamond's song, to the presence of something blinding and entirely alien._

_"There we are," a droll song whispers. "What did you want to do?"_

_She cranes her head to look up at him. Up and up, barely pausing at the scarring of his gem before looking him right in the eyes, before parting her hair._

_Dark diamonds gaze._

_A molten eye, almost red, gazes back._

_"Now I See you," she bluntly whispers._

=<>=

"I was so _rude!_ " Sunset whines, the gem on her right shoulder shining with anxiety. "I thought I would have _shattered on the spot_."

"You must have made quite an impression regardless!" The older Sapphire trills with pride. "One of my fostered clarities, courted by the Diamonds themselves! And before your first year, too!"

" _Sunset_ got courted?" one of the young Sapphires loudly peeks her head out of her cubby. "Already?"

" _She did?_ "

"Someone got COURTED?"

"How could you _See_ anything through that? It took everything I had not to trip over my own skirt!"

"But I-" Sunset stammers. " _I haven't even aged out yet!_ I still have four more years!"

"From now on, you'll be aging out on the job." 42 brightens. " _Ooh_ , we should _celebrate!_ Wouldn't that be so spontaneous? I've never taken you all out to try _food_ yet, this would be a lovely opportunity!"

"Can we get ichors from the lapidary?" Another young Sapphire pipes up with a devious little smile.

"You're far too young to order private ichors and I do _not_ trust what you'll do with it if I order it, 6S5," 42 drily points out.

" _Aw._ "

"Who cares?" Twilight Sapphire floats down from her dorm to tackle at Sunset's shoulder. "You better invite us to whatever ritzy palace you get hooked up with, alright?"

A thousand plans for snacks, a hundred for smuggled ambrosia, and precisely twelve predictions about where she'll go next.

Sunset Sapphire lets her displayed messages lie on the table where she left them, and for the first time in her entire life- all three months, thirteen days, five hours, and thirty-six seconds of it- she smiles.

* * *

**At the invitation of**

**His Umbrance, Sunrose Diamond, Son of the Thorn, Song of Swords, Shadow of Stars, Suneater.**

**Her Clarity,**

**Sunset Sapphire Facet-SD13 Trigon-X9,**

**is henceforth Courted to**

**Sunrose Cerise.**

* * *


	18. In The Old Eras It Was Called The Drive Of Sin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Cerise**
> 
> _Every Diamond of the Cerise line has had a peculiar entanglement with desire- in the sense that they invoke desire in others, dig up the wants of a person's heart. A dangerous, powerful thing, the ability to show a person what they truly want, so close it's like they could almost have it._

* * *

“HELLO HELLO!” Thor smiles into the screen. “Can you see me? Is it working?”

“ _Yes, yes_ ,” Connor lightly scoffs on the other end, song just barely distorted by the communicator. “ _You don’t have to shout at me. Just talk like I’m actually there, I can hear you just fine._ ” 

“Right.” Thor awkwardly coughs into his fist. “Sorry. I’m still adjusting to all the…” He gestures vaguely to the communicator. “...the _tech_ , as you put it.” His mouth twitches with an aborted smirk. “I know the _traders_ haven’t gotten used to the warp station you’ve added to the port. I swear I hear old crones clutching their spices every time the damn thing goes off.”

“ _It’s a learning curve for all of us, prince._ ” Connor lightly sips at a mug. “ _Try not to convince your servants you’ve gone insane in the process._ ” 

“Oh, ye of little faith. I did that _centuries_ ago.” Thor leans back, taking in the Gem on the other side of the screen. “Are you alright, friend? I thought your kind changed clothes after regenerating forms.”

Connor tilts their head with a mild confusion before looking down at themselves. “ _Ah, that._ ” They lightly wave the concern off. “ _I’m alright, I just had a bit of a change, is all._ ” 

“Well…” Thor’s eyes flick up and down, “it looks nice. It suits you, I think.”

Connor chuffs at the idea, lounging in their chair like a cat on the other side of a red-tinged screen. The young Diamond has left their old soldier’s clothes behind, their old sleeveless top changed for a proper shirt and dark vest, light wrist gauntlets shining dully with the reflection of their scarred gem. “ _I’m not exactly playing soldier anymore, so I thought it was time to go for something more… professional, I guess._ ” Alien eyes sweep Thor’s own form in a shrewd sort of way. “ _Seems like you have, too._ ” 

Thor laughs uneasily, eyes darting anywhere else but his nice belt and bracelets, the embroideries of a blue and gold tunic covering a mail shirt he’s too uneasy to go without. “Yes, well- it’s not as though I can walk around armored in a time of rest. It makes people uneasy.” He adjusts his old red cloak around his shoulders, fiddling with the silver shine of its pin. “Besides, I’d never hear the end of it from Mother if I _let my work affairs haunt me at home_ , as she put it.”

“ _You look_ **_distinctly_ ** _uncomfortable, prince. I mean, you look nice, but you look like you hate it._ ” 

“It’s not that I _hate_ it,” Thor absolutely doesn’t whine, “it’s just… it’s been a while, since I’ve really been away from my armor. It’s a bit of an adjustment getting used to normal clothes, I suppose. It feels so… _exposing._ "

_"Well, yeah, after years of armor and metal of course normal fabrics won't feel the same. I can’t even imagine trying to dwale around in stiff armor in and out, though. Pretty sure I’d go insane with the feedback._ ” 

"All I can think is that _this won't protect me_ or that _there's no practicality to this._ Frills and doublets and fringe are things of luxury and money, not of action and need. It all feels so… unnecessary. _Politics_ feel that way, too.” Thor sighs, long and weary. “All pandering and word games with no end but one's own. No one is honest about their thoughts or wants, it's always ceaseless prattle for the upper hand. There's no _nobility_ in being _noble._ "

“ _Damn. And I thought_ **_I_ ** _had it bad._ ” Connor rocks their head with their contemplation. “ _Fuckin’ exhausting, havin’ to deal with so many Gems all the sudden, but at least they aren’t…_ ” They vaguely roll their hand to Thor. “ _-whatever on songs y’all are doing. I’m basically just dealing with my kids, they aren’t gonna game around._ ” 

Speaking of kids, Wolf decides to make his presence known, wet nose snuffling at the immaterial display like he could lick Thor from a thousand stars away.

“ _Children,_ ” Connor repeats with a pointed glance at the red shape blurring out everything but their eyes. “ _I am surrounded by children._ ” 

Thor laughs, shaking his head. "Hail, Wolf, I'm glad to see you're doing fine as well!" He props his head into his hands, leaning forward. "But, hey, at least your children want to do right by you, however misguided they may be. I suspect that half of my father's cabinet have the notion to sink a knife in my back, and that the other half think they can play me to suit their own desires while I drink myself stupid blind so they can control the kingdom for me.” The prince ( _The King, soon- that'll be odd.)_ sighs dejectedly, blowing a lock of hair from his face. "I'll probably have to find reasons to dismiss most of them and get some of my own folk into the ranks."

“ _Well as long as you don’t try to hire any Gems on your new cabinet I’m sure a little nepotism won’t make too many ripples._ ” 

Connor almost laughs, but their mouth tenses to a terse, flat line. 

“ _You’d think I’m joking, but seriously, don’t. I looked it up, our citizens are barred six ways to Sunday from anything vaguely resembling government work for foreign powers, not even as a diplomatic thing. I asked Asteria about it and he went off about ‘something something unwarranted controlling interests in foreign affairs’, I blanked out on the details._ ” 

"Gems are nothing if not _exact_ , huh? Just from what I've seen over the little bit of traffic we get here, it's like they can't even process any lifestyle beyond their own- very unlike you and yours, my friend."

Connor _does_ bark a laugh at that. “ _Thanks, I’m very well trained._ ” They lean forward, arm slung across their desk with sarcastic pride. “ _And I don’t even bite. I’m practically the epitome of Gem cultured._ ” 

Thor manages a snicker at that, briefly grateful that the walls of his suite are thick enough that his strange amusement can’t echo into the halls outside. "Seems we both are very well trained, then. There is hardly a person in this court that's prepared to take my," he throws his hands up in air quotes, " _radical_ policies with foreign affairs. Because apparently treating people with _decency_ is _so_ groundbreaking." Thor rolls his eyes, grimacing.

“ _I take it the court just_ **_loves_ ** _your jotunn and Alfeneel invites to the coronation, huh_ .” 

“Oh, _quite_ so,” Thor grins caustically. “And you should have seen the look on the law council’s face when I started calling the people of Nidavellir _dvergr_ instead of dwarves.”

_"Oh, I'm sure they were_ **_so_ ** _offended to hear you drop their slurs of choice. How_ **_improper_ ** _._ " Connor pinches the bridge of his nose. _" You'll do the kingdom good, if that's the current status of their upper echelon. How the hell did they even manage to keep relations any semblance of peaceful? _ " 

“Bold of you to assume it was peaceful,” Thor dryly fires back. (Norns, if Father could hear him now.) “We just have the biggest, shiniest swords.”

He flicks his eyes uneasily to Mjolnir’s perch.

“Well, we _used_ to. The universe is full of all sorts of players now. We talk about how _mighty_ and _unyielding_ we are, but I’m not sure we have the capacity to come out of the next war unscathed. At least… not unscathed by _my_ standards.”

_"They'll be better off with a leader who can acknowledge the weakness of their kingdom, and someone who has such standards for it. It will not be easy, nor simple; But I have little doubt that no matter what_ **_you_ ** _think you do wrong in your rule, it will improve your domain tenfold. Because you_ **_do_ ** _think about these things, rather than assuming you're untouchable and invincible, or that you can make no mistakes."_

Strange, the weak smile that glowing praise can elicit from Thor even now. “Humble words from someone who by all rights walks as a god among their own people.”

_"A god in their eyes, maybe. I'd rather they drop that notion of a Diamond's ineffability- perhaps then the Empire wouldn't have fallen into such disrepair for so long._ ” Connor sighs, falling back to their seat. “ _But they can’t really help it. It’s… natural, to feel that way about the person you came from, y’know? That sense of awe, I guess, for what made you._ ” 

Thor hums, looking off-screen as he considers that. "I suppose. But just as much as it may be a matter of innate reverence, it is also equally about presentation of one's self. If you accept and nurture that awe beyond the natural boundaries of where it would develop, then it is a _manipulation_ of it." He tugs unconsciously on his braid, skin tight over his knuckles. "Whether they realize it or not."

“ _Congratulations, prince,_ ” Connor chuffs just a little despairingly, “ _Ten billion years of our eternal empire, reduced to a few sentences. Any other revelations you want to collapse society with today or have you had your fill?_ ” 

“ _Well…_ ” Thor starts nervously.

“ _Oh stars, you_ **_do_** _. I was being facetious, vein adma, that wasn’t a request._ ” Connor can't help but grin a little.  _"And you worry that you aren't intelligent enough for your position."_

“ _Hush up_. I just had a bit of a foolish thought, that’s all.”

“ _Oh? A thought so foolish it sounded like someone with years of wisdom already under their belt? What a fine problem to have, little prince."_

Thor scoffs, hand pulling back through his hair as he looks literally anywhere else but the screen, hoping none of the color on his face makes it past the tinge of the display. “Nothing grand. I just- I thought, for a moment, of what well-earned chaos Loki would inflict on the nobles at my coronation.” His smile falls a bit sad. “I forget the state of things. I’m not sure I could ever justify having him there under my invitation, the way things stand.”

_"He is your brother, Thor, and it is your wedding. If you are already making plans to replace those surrounding you anyway, what does it matter if you give them some grief before they go?"_ Connor smirks.  _"It's your day, in your kingdom, to be witnessed and shared with your people. What_ **_wouldn't_ ** _justify him being there?"_

Thor smirks in turn, albeit with an anxious edge. “You ask all sorts of dangerous questions, don't you, Sunrose Diamond?”

“ _I just think maybe you should do what you want for a change_ .” Connor tilts their head. It’s this oddly open gesture, face painted with such a dangerous sincerity Thor almost can’t bring himself to look at it. “ _So what do you_ **_want_ ** _, Thor?_ ” 

_Dangerous questions indeed._

He swallows the words crawling up his throat, trying not to choke on them. "I-I…" Thor coughs again, scratching his neck. "I want some goddamn peace and quiet in my life for once. Some _normalcy._ I just…”

_I want to see I want to be free I just want to live, I-_

“...I just want to… just _one day_ . Just this once, on my own wedding, I’d like to feel literally anything different than _please, gods, let me live_. I-”

_I don’t know if I even want to do this. I don’t even know if I_ _want_ _to want, I just want to be_ _me._

“...I’d just like the brother I grew up with to see my wedding day,” Thor finishes lamely, voice trailing off awkwardly. “That’s all.”

_"Then do that, Thor. Not for any other reason than because_ **_you want it._ ** _"_ They look very pointedly at him through the screen, enough to make him sweat even from that distance.  _"Worse comes to worse, Wolf always likes snacks. Don't you, bud?"_

Wolf snorts loudly in response.

“...Are you really implying,” Thor finally responds, shoulders shaking with unsung laughter, “some offer to _eat_ my problems?”

_ "No, Wolf is." _ Connor casually thumbs through files on some other display. “ _I_ _’ll just sit there with plausible deniability_ .” 

Thor sighs, shaking his head in mirth. "Of course you will." _That's one of the many reasons I…_

_I…_

Thor hits the table, huffing a breath through his nose and focusing back on the screen. “You will be the _end of me_ , you absolute bastard. One of these days we’ll finally put each other in the ground with all these dangerous little talks.”

“ _Aw, don’t be like that. Say it when I’ve earned it, like after your wedding._ ” 

_This_ particular smile is so easy on Thor’s face it’s almost insulting. “You know, I keep hearing about this infamous plan to ruin my wedding but I have _yet_ to actually hear the details. Do you truly intend to keep such a devious plot under wraps, my friend?"

“ _I fully intend to threaten you with a good time. You can quote me on that._ ” 

"Pffft, I think I _shall._ Let's see if there's any wrenches I have left to throw, eh?" He dares a wink. "The cabinet's so stuffy already, I can't _imagine_ what political nonsense they may cook up to distract if they heard you were plotting antics."

“ _Oh, I’m sure._ ” Connor’s smile rakes across his face, fangs shifting with some silent chuckle that doesn’t quite sound across the screen. “ _I’m sure they’ll love to chat with_ **_all five of us_ ** _, hmm?_ ” 

Thor blinks. "... _Are you crashing my wedding with_ _all_ _the Diamonds, you madman?"_

Connor smoothly writes up a notice like Thor never asked the question at all. “ _Me? Crashing? I would_ **_never_ ** _. I was invited, after all. Me, myself, and every unspoken member of my entourage._ ” They take another sip out of their mug. _“ I’d never be careless enough to simply travel alone, after all._” 

  
_"By the Norns, Connor."_ Thor can't help the laugh bubbling from his gut. _"Of course you wouldn't."_

* * *


	19. Colorist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sif and Thor and all their colors.

* * *

He should say something. Really, he should, right?

(He’s usually  _ better _ than this.)

“You, ah-” Thor stammers, catching over his words, “-you… you changed your hair.”

Sif laughs under her breath, long golden locks catching on her fair skin as her sword-callused hand cards through her hair. “I haven’t worn my hair in its proper state since I was a girl.”

“I  _ remember _ that,” Thor notes, almost shocked to find it true. “The Mothers were furious the first time you colored your hair. They didn’t let me or  _ anyone _ see you for a week before you wore them down.”

“ _ Too pretty to join the guard, my ass, _ ” Sif dryly scoffs.

When Thor was first beginning to train in the ways of war, Sif had wanted to join him. The Mothers had been delighted at first- until she further said she would not join the  _ Valkyries _ , the well honored women warriors. She wanted to join the  _ Einherjar _ , where she could continue to train side by side with her childhood friend.

_ What a waste of her beauty _ , the Mothers had said, to do something so brutish as frontline fighting.

And Sif had taken that personally.

She ate too much. Trained too hard. She built her body until she was too _dense_ for the fleet footed requirements of the Valkyries, and for the final blow she’d taken her shining golden hair and drenched it dull and black as night.

When she’d threatened to cut her hair off, the Mothers had finally thrown up their hands and relented.

“They blamed your bad influence,” Sif lightly recalls. “You were the one who started coloring your hair first, after all.”

“You caught me in the act enough times you could have done it from memory whether I’d helped you or not.” Thor’s hand twitches, an old boyhood memory of the way he once braided her hair daring to surface before he remembers himself, crossing his arms behind him. “What brought this on, Sif? I thought you would have kept your colors to the grave, at the rate you were going.”

“I’ve…” Sif shyly tucks her hair. “...I’ve never had to be pretty before. I  _ couldn’t _ be, as a warrior. But I never hated it, you know.”

Thor absently threads at one of his shamefully red braids. “I really should put the color back into it,” he muses. “I haven’t gotten around to fixing it ever since Sunrose ruined it.”

“I  _ missed _ your hair,” Sif dares to softly admit with a nostalgic sort of smile.

“ _ It makes me look like an angry child _ ,” Thor grumbles.

“It makes you look  _ passionate _ , I think.” Sif tilts her head. “Like you have drive. It’s not a bad thing. Besides,” she adds, “it might be nice… for the both of us to just- just be  _ ourselves _ for our wedding.”

Thor steps back with the thought. He leans to her with a tired grin. “Wise council as ever, my lady.”

“I tend to do that.” She firmly takes his hand. “Now, speaking of hair, I tried to be proper this morning but I completely forgot what utter trash I am at styling myself.” Sif gently shakes the hand she holds. “Could you help me out? You always braided better, and… I missed it.” Her head ducks down in a sort of  _ shy _ way, almost. “I missed our talks when we were together.”

“Well,” Thor dares to respond as she leads him down the hall, “how could I ever say no to that?”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk i just think the mcu did sif a little dirty


	20. With Every Word

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He has many things to say, if only you ask.

* * *

“How are things?” Connor asks.

“Earth’s doing fine,” Az lightly responds. “Nothing too new on Homeworld. Your Martian project seems to be going well, from what I’ve been hearing.”

“No, I mean-” Connor shuffles his hands a bit. “How are things with  _ you?  _ How have you been?”

“Why do you ask?”

“I just… you always look so  _ busy _ , I guess, and...” Connor’s song peters off. “...I just wonder what you get you get up to, that’s all.” He tucks his hands awkwardly by his side. “Don’t wanna pry.”

“No, no… it’s fine.” There’s a softer edge in Az’s smile now. “It’s been kind of a lull, really. Hasn’t been much Diamond-tier stuff I’ve needed to get in on lately.” He looks aside. “It  _ has _ been giving me some free time to work on a pet project of mine though. You wanna see?"

“Sure.” 

Az braces his knees as he stands (like some kind of old man), taking Connor’s hand as he gets up. 

“Thanks again for, uh- setting me up. With Angel,” Connor starts up again as they walk.

“Therapy’s working out okay?”

Connor lets himself have a short laugh. “It’s not going  _ great _ \- I mean, talking that kinda shit out isn’t  _ easy _ -”

“ _ Don’t I know it, _ ” Az wearily agrees.

“-but it’s… it’s okay, I think.  _ Better than okay _ , it’s- it’s easier now, than it was before.” He softly cuffs on Az’s shoulder. “And you’re dodging the point here. We’re talking about  _ you _ .”

“Sorry, sorry,” Az easily apologizes with a sardonic grin. “I worry, that’s all.” He spares a chiding sort of chuckle for himself. “We’re bad at talking about ourselves, aren’t we?”

“Just a bit,” Connor dares to jokingly concede.

“I don’t think any amount of therapy will fix  _ that _ ,” Az sighs. “But anyways, my thing’s just a quick warp over on Selenopolis. Gotta take you down to the Hive for this one.”

The Hive- it really is a  _ hive _ , or some aggressively unapologetic fusion of one with a Kindergarten. Water and branching coral weave through a relatively small space the size of one of Az’s offices, nearly every wall swallowed with little hexagon cubbies.

“What’s cookin’ up down here?” Connor asks.

Az takes out one of the cubby boxes and lays it on the table. Slowly but surely, an odd little creature crawls out. It pokes out the branching gemstone that crowns its face and waddles into Steven's hand like a caterpillar on its far too many legs. It rears up, looks between the two Gems with round black eyes, and lets out a soft trill. 

A  _ Gem _ trill.

"I've been working on a new Gem type!" Az says brightly. "Kind of," he clarifies. “Remember how I was telling you about the simple AI kind of stuff that can be made with Gem methods? It’s stuff like this.” He twirls his hand as the small creature crawls around his fingers. "I'm calling them Corals. They're only about as complex as a Pebble at best- barely even that-  _ but _ ..." He gives a few soft clicks. The Coral shimmers with the echo of watery wings and flies over to his other hand. 

“...but it has  _ Gem abilities, _ ” Connor finishes.

“Now you’re getting it. A trainable, miniature tool with basic Gem capabilities.” Az lets the Coral weave between his hands. “I'm still polishing the coding, but there's a lot of potential medical and agricultural uses for these right off the bat."

“These things know gemsong,” Connor tentatively clarifies.

“Mhm.”

“These things  _ can parrot gemsong, _ ” Connor elaborates. “ _ You just made walking universal translators. _ Is this- do y’all do this kind of stuff all the time? Is this normal Diamond stuff?”

“Not all the time,” Az gently corrects. "It varies, really. We do delegate a lot these days, but there's things that specifically need our processing and abilities. Other things we just have to do ourselves.” Az herds the Coral out of his hands and back into its cubby. “But now that we don’t micromanage the Empire anymore except in emergencies, we spend our time doing projects that’ll do the Empire some good. Stuff like this." Az tilts his head, turning back to Connor with a considering look on his face. “Why don't you take one with you? Tinker with it a bit, you'll probably find a use for it I missed."

“I’m not really sure I can decipher,” Connor looks around at the place, “all  _ this _ better than you have already.”

“You already did,” Az softly praises. “I hadn’t even really thought about the gemsong thing until you pointed it out just now!”

“O-okay. Just don’t expect anything too groundbreaking from me.”

“Hey now.” Az’s knuckles softly nudge at Connor’s cheek. “We don’t have to change the world with every word, y’know? Just leave things a little better than we found it.”

“I’ll try.”

* * *


	21. Bubbled Industry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor has ideas, alright?

* * *

**DIRECT DIAMOND LINE**

**REPORTING:** His Umbrance, Sunrose Diamond

**TO:** His Radiance, Asteria Diamond

**REGARDING:** Corals

_So y'know how Corals are really good at bubbling things?_

=<>=

**REPORTING:** His Radiance, Asteria Diamond

**TO:** His Umbrance, Sunrose Diamond

**REGARDING:** Corals

_Yes, I was there for that._

=<>=

**REPORTING:** His Umbrance, Sunrose Diamond

**TO:** His Radiance, Asteria Diamond

**REGARDING:** Corals

_They can shoot their bubbles? I noticed that earlier._

_I also noticed that the range of these bubbles can be extended when placing the coral in a tube. You can just stick a Coral in a tube thing and then have it release the bubble when the tube opens???_

_So you can have targeted long-range bubbling. I thought that was pretty neat._

=<>=

**REPORTING:** His Radiance, Asteria Diamond

**TO:** His Umbrance, Sunrose Diamond

**REGARDING:** Corals

_Connor I think you just invented guns_

* * *


	22. Crashlanders

* * *

**SUNROSE**

SO I HEAR YOU'BE BEEN DISAPPEARING OFF TO ASGARD

LATELY

you'be

YES FUCK YOU TOO

Why is your caps lock on

OH IS THAT WHAT THIS IS

are you stealing az's dictation machine

to shout at me across the room again

NO

...

THIS TIME NO

uh huh sure kid

HOW DO I MAKE IT SOTP

sotp

I'M GOING TO BOIL YOUR TEETH

Festive.

YOU CAN EITHER LAUGH (USELESS, FUTILE)

OR YOU CAN HELP ME (BRAVE, SEXY)

not my grind locks

(jk just press the shift button on the keyboard

until it stops looking weird)

ok thanks

So are we talking about something or did

you just need to flail in my general direction,

like some kind of fish gasping for water

in an uncaring universe

Sunrose what the hel is that supposed to mean

it means get to the point, locks

So I hear you've been disappearing off to Asgard lately

yes and

It's really that easy???

YES, AND

What have you been doing out there???

idk your brother wanted some help

He's not my brother

idk your brother wanted some help so i dropped in

and helped him stab criminals until they stopped

also he's becoming king

Wait he what

also he's getting married

HE WHAT NOW

it's happening on the same day I think?

or at least in the same week

I am invited to this.

HOW

idk diplomacy or some shit

all the diamonds are coming

You are also invited to this.

i'm not sure that's a smart idea

i'm not inviting you thor is

ew

He seems to really want you there?

I don't really know how close you two were,

but it feels like it's important to him.

Also, uh

...

I think he's been kind of nervous?

about this whole thing.

He looks really uncomfortable whenever

we end up talking about the coronation and stuff.

hm

it's a far cry from the thor i knew

Me and mine are a little bit hoping to ruin the vibe

with some Aggressive Exotic Foreigner attitudes

oh?

yeah you'd fit right in

we'll just show up with our

-weird clothes

-weird voices

-weird goats

-weird wedding gifts

what was that last ones

Weird wedding gifts.

it's supposed to be a party right?

why NOT make it weird and wild

Minor problem here.

go on

I'll probably be attending as a woman

oh yeah az told me about that

how's that working out

it's Fine??? I think??

Not sure how long it'll last but it will likely

still be an ongoing Thing by the time the wedding

rolls around.

i see no problem with this

Might upset some old noble somewhere that

still recognizes me

I See No Problem With This.

Well alright then.

back to our earlier thing

yes this is fine

How was Asgard?

i didn't see that much of asgard really

mostly just the other colonies

I saw jotunheim for a bit ain't that where you're from

I am

Pretty snowy. lot of mountains

such glowing praise for my homeland

I saw that place where those dvergr are.

They had some kind of machiciolated tiered hollow alderson disk

that was anchored around a neutron star? And I think there was also

an articulated dyson sphere of some kind when I looked?

I've honestly never seen such aggressively efficient exploitation of

solar power, it was actually really cool!

I understood some of those words individually.

norns i was almost allowed to forget you were a literal god machine for

a single moment, and then you turn around and say things like That

never forget that i am Powerful

uh huh sure

any other glowing praise for the rest of the asgardian empire?

real scenic

saw a butterfly

there was a bird

cool rock.

It's almost like I'm there.

patched an injury

learned about snakes. thor was there i guess

How do you Gem folk handle injuries anyway?

We use ichors for alot of medicine

do you just keep bottles of the stuff on you?

I don't need to, because

i'm one of those weirdos ichor comes from

oh gods is ichor DIAMOND BLOOD?

well yes, but actually no

we don't Have blood we just have ichor

do you just... pour your blood on things

no??

mostly we just kiss things

that's usually enough for the ichor to work through

someone's body. sometimes there's like

Impurities???

and those also need to be burned out in order for 

someone to heal properly, but in alot of cases just a 

spot of ichor will do the trick

haha so who did you have to kiss

Thor did get poisoned that one time

wait you kissed thor

yes and

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YES AND YOU REALLY JUST WENT AND

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hoard people like dragons so welcome new beta reader/consultant/occasional co-author BattleBlaze  
> rubber duckey of our hearts


	23. Paintjob

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your Uber driver is here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didn't update yesterday because headache Ouchie

* * *

**Knifedog**

Hey

Hey y’all done with the human college yet

Perhaps

I’m outside

Wait what

* * *

Connie opens her window to lean out of it, and sure enough, there he is.

There’s Connor, all 6 foot 9 of him, in his atrocious pink Cadillac, humming along to some vague musical nonsense floating out of the wailing stone sat between him and Wolf in the front seats.

* * *

**Knifedog**

Connor what the fuck is that

That’s my dog? Rude

Connor what the fuck are you driving

My car????

Have you never seen my car before?

The fuck kinda car is THAT

WHY IS IT PINK

It just came like that???

That’s terrible

You’re absolutely right

I should make it red. Keep a little pink on the

Highlights

Draw some wolves

That’d really make it pop

THAT DOES NOT SOUND BETTER

It’s too late i’ve already made up my mind

Thank you for your excellent ideas my

I hate this

I hate this so much

Wow okay i guess i’ll just take adya and go home by myself

wait no i’m sorry come back i don’t wanna take the train again

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm going back and doing format updating for the series so feel free to take the opportunity to re-read if you like


	24. A Year And A Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor's good day.

* * *

Connor picked up Adya and Connie from their college thing the other day. Not that he really _gets_ the whole college thing. Or the school thing. 

What’s even up with school, anyway? Boxing a bunch of children in a sequence of tiny rooms for a good decade and then just moving them to slightly bigger ones when they’re adults just to be fancy. He thought maybe it was one of those things that he was apparently supposed to get but didn’t (there are many such things), but Az _also_ doesn’t really get how school works either so Connor will just have to conclude humans are just insane like that.

How did he even get to thinking about school anyway? It’s hard to keep track of things sometimes. ~~Might be something to worry about-~~

But besides the point! 

_Besides the point_.

Adya’s staying over for the rest of the summer, and isn’t _that_ something else to think about. It shouldn’t be that much different than that little winter week she’d been at his place last time, it really shouldn’t. It’s just more of the same, right? (It’s just Christmas but longer! It’s not weird!)

But it’s… it’s _not_ the same, not really. ( _They_ aren’t the same?)

He’d woken up first (he always does). He’d woken up and he’d made breakfast, just for the hell of it, because why not? He has Wolf, he has Adya, why _not_ make something proper? Something a little fun. She’d woken up, apparently a little later than she would have liked, tiredly shoveling sausage waffles and scrambled eggs with the same ravenous non-grace Wolf was, and before she left to go change and unpack the rest of her things, they… they kissed. 

It was nice.

Today was just kind of… _nice._

He stops by a Lazuli’s art studio to get some stuff- _Az’s_ Lazuli, a _Crystal Gem_ Lazuli- and for some reason the whole affair didn’t make him choke the way he thought it would. Peridot was there. That _was_ awkward, but for once it wasn’t because of his weird paranoid baggage, it was _normal_ awkward. He gets through that entire conversation and still feels like a fucking _person_ when he leaves it, isn’t that wild?

He finishes up a docking on the dash of the car to put the wailing stone in. He gets around to _repainting_ his car, finally. Red, of course (a lot of red). Gold and black trim, just to make it pop, and hey, maybe throwing back in just a little bit of the pink, because even if pink isn’t _his_ color, it’s not bad. And there are some wolves on it. In white. Maybe a bit of a blue shine in the eyes.

(In retrospect, he really went and did his car with Diamond colors. But it looks nice so anyone who wants to fight that can step up or _square up_.)

He’s not sure what to do about the motorcycle that had been in that freaky ~~Crimson Zirconia~~ mystery box with Sunrise. Maybe he’ll give it to her when she’s old enough, he’s not sure. 

But he can _think_ about it now. He can just… he can just _think_ about shit like that? And not freak out? (It’s bizarre, is what it is.)

Him and Adya had taken the car after she was done unpacking and they _went out_. Just like that. Connor pretended to remember what human snacks were (and finally got around to getting corn dogs), Adya pretended to understand the fruit from the gem markets, Wolf tried to eat one of the test Corals, the big bastard.

They caught Cinna somewhere along the way, went and got a late lunch, and Cinna just… gave him a gift? Just like that? One of those computer games, _Hitman_ or something, and there goes the rest of their afternoon as the ladies make a sport of watching him slap virtual assassination targets to death with fish. (He didn’t know how to switch inventory, okay?)

Bismuth had dropped by with another pizza, y’know, _just in case you gone and forgot to feed your girl, ya boulder brain_. (Thanks, Bismuth.) Greg drops by to say hi, Adya meets Vairam.

It’s nice, everyone’s being so _nice, and-_

“Okay, this is starting to get a little weird,” Connor voices all too late when _Az_ of all people makes a random appearance with a cake (read: really well frosted and flavored pancake stack). “What the fuck is _up_ with today?”

“Is something wrong?” Az asks.

“What’s wrong is _nothing is wrong, it_ -” It sounds so stupid in retrospect. “Why is everyone being so _nice today?_ ” his song trails off.

“I know you aren’t- _we aren’t_ really big on people making a big deal about us. You weren’t gonna want something big, I just thought we could give you a nice day, that’s all.”

“But… why _today?_ ” Connor’s head races with some internal math. Did he miss something? What was supposed to be so important about today? The only thing he can think of that would have happened was-

“Connor,” Az’s song softly skips a beat, “it’s been a year.”

**It’s been…**

_It’s been a year, since we..._

“It’s really-” Connor’s whisper staggers as he falls back into the wall. “It’s really been that long?”

“It’s not _our_ traditional date, I know, but it’s been one year since you came to this world. So-” Az smiles, almost sad. “Happy birthday, son.”

_Oh._

It’s been a year.

It’s been _a whole year, it’s…_

...this is real. This is real now.

_This is mine now._

_This is…_

**...this is our life now.**

~~Why is he crying?~~

“Eh,” Connor irreverently responds, crossing his arms with a sarcastic look in literally any other direction than the cake. “Could have put more strawberries on the top.”

“Aw, but it’s the perfect framing for a candle,” Az dryly points out.

“Just _one_ candle? What am I, a toddler?”

“Would you rather I put all twenty-two candles next year? You are a _hazard_ to this household.”

_Next year._

“You’re a coward, Dad,” Connor smiles, and just this once his brain doesn’t hate himself for the slip. “Clearly the answer here is to just set the cake on fire. That’d really make it _pop_.”

“Ah, of course. How could I forget?”

* * *


	25. Profile Pearl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor gets some homework during his down time.

* * *

**DIRECT DIAMOND LINE**

**REPORTING:** His Radiance, Asteria Diamond

 **TO:** His Umbrance, Sunrose Diamond

**REGARDING:** Temporary Assignment

_I hear there's a lull in the Martian progress at the moment._

=<>=

**REPORTING:** His Umbrance, Sunrose Diamond

 **TO:** His Radiance, Asteria Diamond

**REGARDING:** Temporary Assignment

_It's another waiting game with fauna-stage terraforming. Construction on the lapidary is coming along well, though- if I may ask. Do I really need my own extraction chamber?_

=<>=

**REPORTING:** His Radiance, Asteria Diamond

 **TO:** His Umbrance, Sunrose Diamond

**REGARDING:** Lapidary

_You have ichor. We're going to extract it._

_On paper it shouldn't function much different than mine but yours runs differently- different density, different quantity. We can't expect your extraction settings to be quite the same as mine and from what we've seen of you there stands a chance the properties could be different. You'll need a separate filter at minimum._

=<>=

**REPORTING:** His Umbrance, Sunrose Diamond

 **TO:** His Radiance, Asteria Diamond

**REGARDING:** Lapidary

_I'm not gonna know what to do in a weird blood box all by myself._

=<>=

**REPORTING:** His Radiance, Asteria Diamond

 **TO:** His Umbrance, Sunrose Diamond

**REGARDING:** Lapidary, Temporary Assignment

_Stars, no! I'm not leaving you to do a full-length extraction by yourself for the first time! We'll all be doing extraction together when the lapidary is ready, I can walk you through the thing._

_But returning to the original question, you are currently free work-wise at the moment, right?_

=<>=

**REPORTING:** His Umbrance, Sunrose Diamond

 **TO:** His Radiance, Asteria Diamond

**REGARDING:** Temporary Assignment

_Are you giving me an assignment on top of an assignment? Because I don't like the sound of that._

=<>=

**REPORTING:** His Radiance, Asteria Diamond

 **TO:** His Umbrance, Sunrose Diamond

**REGARDING:** Temporary Assignment

_Oh no, this should just be a quick thing. I'm only noticing you seem to be a bit... tense around Zircons lately, thought I might give you a little errand to help with that._

_My courted Zircon's been doing some digging on an old era Pearl farm out on the Reef that might have gotten into some- politely put- dishonest reporting._

_It's been hard on Kindergartens to transition between Eras and there were alot of miscommunications and bad assumptions in the earlier years. It's been taken care of, mostly, but there's likely still some stragglers who haven't quite caught up yet and might need a more direct inspection._

=<>=

**REPORTING:** His Umbrance, Sunrose Diamond

 **TO:** His Radiance, Asteria Diamond

**REGARDING:** Temporary Assignment

_I'm guessing you want me on it 'cause I'm still lower profile?_

=<>=

**REPORTING:** His Radiance, Asteria Diamond

 **TO:** His Umbrance, Sunrose Diamond

**REGARDING:** Temporary Assignment

_That and it'll be good for you to be getting out and be seen doing things. It'll help people get used to you._

=<>=

**REPORTING:** His Umbrance, Sunrose Diamond

 **TO:** His Radiance, Asteria Diamond

**REGARDING:** Temporary Assignment

_Alright. Not like I've got anything better to do during the waiting game._ _Should be fun._

=<>=

**REPORTING:** His Radiance, Asteria Diamond

 **TO:** His Umbrance, Sunrose Diamond

**REGARDING:** Temporary Assignment

_That's the spirit._

* * *


	26. A Funny Thing Happened At Work T'day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **The Reef**
> 
> _While other Gems are made in the usual Kindergarten canyons, Pearls are made, modified, and repaired in one place alone- the Reef. At least, that was the way it was in the old Eras. While other forms of Gem production were readjusted to Era 3, Pearl production has been shut down entirely while the caste standard is being redefined and redesigned for the new Era. While places like the capiz fields or aquacultural farms have stayed active on the Reef, and there have been future plans to possibly move Coral production there, the old Pearl farms have all been shut down until further notice._

* * *

“Are you getting all this?” Connor turns back to ask.

“Quite clearly,” Blue Zircon Facet-BD6 Step-F9X drily intones from across the room. She squints past her visor. “The signal’s a bit finicky, I’ll need your memory data afterwards. But the fact the signal _is_ so weak means our earlier witnesses were right- the place looks pretty damn abandoned from what we’re getting.” 

A little farther off, Sunrise pokes her head out of another hall and gives a thumbs up- nothing to report there. 

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” Connor asks Zircon, who was now back in regular range.

“ _In theory_ , yes,” Zircon nervously replies, “but the farmers from other facets have been reporting strange activity from the area. Someone might be trying to reactivate the incubation bivalves or use the place for illegal storage, maybe even try to scrap for leftover ichors.”

“So someone’s trying to go for a piece of the glory days? _Greedy little fucks_ ,” Connor murmurs.

"Agreeable verbiage, Your Umbrance." She snidely nods, nose in the air. "I can only assume some salvagers came by, but there is no certain answer currently." She pulls up one of her screens, taking some vague notes on the state of the place. “The Crystal Gem Garnet- you know her, she’s that _aeterna_ with the Sapphire-”

Connor’s eye twitches. “ **_Hmm._ **”

“- _she_ mentioned that we should be finding who or what’s been causing the disturbance today, but it wasn’t clear what we’d find.”

Sunrise suddenly pipes up behind them. “You don’t think-” Her song cuts itself off. “Sorry. Spoke out of turn.”

“No, no,” Zircon politely allows, “go on.”

“You don’t think that maybe there’s…” Sunrise looks off to the side, “... _corruptions_ out here? Like, natural ones.”

“Has someone been hazing you back at Little Homeschool?” Connor squints. 

She cocks her head. "Hazing? What's that?"

“Pulling a joke on you ‘cause you’re new or something. I hear the Quartz types like to do that.”

“She _has_ a point, though,” Zircon concedes. “Reports on natural corruptions are… rare, due to the censorship culture of the previous Eras, but they’re clearly not impossible. We’ve been finding strays on planets other than Earth, and, well-” Zircon looks away from Connor, mouth set to a nervous, flat line. “His Radiance was certainly a very public proof-of-concept.”

"Are you suggesting that these are _newly_ corrupted Gems behind this? Or that previously corrupted and currently untreated patients are the culprits?”

Zircon quietly lets the light of her Gem shine into the dim, empty space. “That’s only _if_ the theory holds true. Corruptions naturally seek out other Gems over time, but there haven’t been any disturbance reports coming from outside this area. Of course, something could be trapped here, but- _mm_. Hopefully this is just an illegal scrapper or two. The military presence on this planet isn’t specialized enough to deal with a corruption incident.”

Connor nods, looking around them for any tracks or signs of corruptions in the landscape. "Worse comes to worse, I will handle any attack which the base cannot withstand alone. I will also confer with Yellow Diamond about fortifying the area, if need be."

Wolf lets out a loud sneeze as he sticks his snout against a dusty surface. There’s traces of delicate claw marks on the uncovered area.

“Entirely hypothetically,” Connor loudly sounds, “what _is_ the corruption of, say, a Pearl?”

Zircon’s song hums with a high whirring sound (not unlike that of an engine), and Connor can practically _see_ the data swimming in her eyes. “Insectoid, I believe. It looks rather like those moths on Earth.”

_So no claws. Probably._

“Well then.” Connor quietly pulls a blade from out of his gem. “I think we _are_ working with some trespassers. Maybe we should turn the power back on for the whole place, see if that-”

With no warning, Wolf barks and growls up at the pipes, clawing at the metallic surface.

Something slips and skitters away overhead.

Connor twirls his blade up, settling into a readier stance. “Alright, you wanna play? Then come on out!”

In one rough motion, he rushes up to the wide pipes and strikes it with the side of his fist. The whole wall shivers as the structure rings like a bell. The movements inside get louder, more obvious with panic.

Connor keeps hitting the pipes, the blade in his hand clanging against it with an erratic shriek. “You want it to stop? Then stop fucking around and get down here!”

Zircon peeks one eye open past her sympathetic flinch. “Is that really necessary?”

“It’s working, isn’t it?”

“Fair enough.”

Wolf doesn’t need Connor’s input to lead the way, head cocked as he follows the unseen trespasser’s path, only to stop at a wide open space at the pipe's end.

_This_ room, this one looks half-flooded. Tubes and pipes and oyster-like structures hang haphazardly with obvious neglect, discarded screens and data stones floating dead on the air. But even despite the waterlogged state of the place, there’s not a speck of dust in sight, and the ground is oddly clear of the debris that seemingly should have been there.

“We know you’re there.” Zircon may act high-strung and overly casual at the best of times, but the steady clarity of her song is a firm reminder that this was still a Gem who could argue against her own Diamond in court. “There’s no point in dragging this out.”

“On the ground, keep your weapons unsummoned, and we don’t have to have a problem here,” Connor roughly adds, song leaving no room for disobedience.

There _is_ no one there, or so it would seem. Straining on the edge of Connor’s hearing, there's nervous, high chirps of unidentifiable song all around him.

Connor and Zircon spare a quick glance for each other. Sunrise nervously kneads through Wolf’s fur.

Connor slowly steps further in, feet not quite sinking into the water as he looks around. “I’m sorry I yelled.” He stows his blade back to his gem, raising his empty hands. “We thought you were gonna be someone else.”

He looks around and finally sees it- a shape, shivering behind the shadow of one of the bivalve machines.

“Hey.” Rusted as it is, he lets a softer edge break through the previously sharp ring of his song. “ _Hey_ , it’s okay. I’m not gonna hurt you. I’m not gonna shout and break stuff anymore, okay?”

He looks back to Zircon and Sunrise, silently nodding when they take the hint and back a little more away from the entrance.

“You’re not in trouble,” he clearly sounds as he dares to walk further in, “but no one’s supposed to be in this area right now. Can you come out so I can see who you are?”

Slowly, surely, a lithe, fragile shape stands up with fearful grace. 

Her hands clasped in front of her chest, the picture of submission, wide watery eyes turn to face him, framed in sharp contrast to the pearl swallowing her mouth.

_Off color. Gems shouldn’t place like that._

Zicron gasps behind him, while Wolf and Sunrise seem more intrigued than off-put by the new arrival. Regardless, the sharp sound seems to startle the Pearl, who draws back with a poorly disguised flinch.

“Hey, hey, you’re okay!” Just this once, Connor wishes he could shapeshift properly, if only to be a little less imposing than the way he knows he towers over her now. The best he can do is curl himself in a little, slowly kneeling down with her when she draws back into the ground. “We aren’t gonna do anything to you. We just called in ‘cause the Gems outside were saying they saw weird stuff around the area, and people aren’t allowed to hang around here. You don’t have to be in trouble, we just have to take you somewhere else, okay?” 

_There's nothing to be afraid of._

**I won't hurt you, I would _never_ hurt you.**

“ ~~My… are you~~ ~~_my…_ ~~ ” Confused, muffled chirps rise past the gem on her face. Her hand moves towards him before drawing back as she takes a closer look at his eyes. _Oh no_ . “ ~~My Diamond?~~ ” she hesitantly says, like a child waiting to be corrected. “ ~~_My_ ~~ ~~\- are you my s-service? Are you my purpose?~~ ”

_Nope, nope, nope-_

**Fuck fuck fuck-**

“Whoa, whoa,” Connor tries to backtrack, “maybe slow down there for a-”

Two hands suddenly, delicately grab Connor’s arm. Two hands, two wrists, two arms attached to the same elbow and the knotted pearl at its joint. “ _My?_ ” a new song whispers.

And it’s like some spell is broken. Dozens of tiny, stilted voices gaining new courage from the shadows. 

_"My Diamond?"_

_"My Leader?"_

“ _My purpose?_ ”

_"My direction?"_

“ _Assigned-assigned-assignment confirmed-_ ”

On stilted legs, on doubled faces, on speckled eyes and knotted pearls on knotted _Pearls_ , twenty-two off-colored songs reach for Connor’s form, like starving vines climbing for the sun.

  
 _Oh,_ Connor distantly realizes. _I think I made a mistake._

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact the SU game _Phantom Fable_ confirms the corrupted pearl form to be a moth creature. L A M P


	27. So Hey There Honey, How's Your Day?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The darndest things.

* * *

**“Clifford”**

Hey

So

Uh

Mm

Adya

Hi

Uh

Are you okay over there?

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeh

Maybe

Maybe, huh? So what's going on?

I mean.

It’s not BAD

Probably.

I feel so reassured, puppy.

Wait fuck i didn’t tell az about this yet

Maybe it is bad

I Don’t Actually Know

Okay but what is it??

SO THE DARNDEST THING HAPPENED WHILE

I WAS AT WORK TODAY

  
  


I never would've guessed

Please i am still Processing this

Uh

If it’s any consolation, this is Probably not

a permanent thing

But uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh

I may or may not have acquired

twenty-two (22) kids

Maybe.

Perhaps.

Connor did Cinna make you steal babies

Be honest

I’m not mad i just want to know

I do not steal orphans, 

that is my least favorite thing to do.

They simply all made eye contact with me

And now they are mine

….

You know what i can't even blame them, very pretty eyes

how you find that many babies??

In My Defense, i did not realize pearls worked

like that.

Ah. Gem kids, this does clarify thing

Is this one of those court something you were talking before?

Maybe.

This is

Really weird

This feels. Really weird

This Has Never Happened Before,

This is certainly an emotion and it’s weird

Oh stars my head

But is it bad weird tho

Are you okay??

I think az might have told me about this

But i’m blanking out, i can’t fucking think

About anything but all of them

Sounds like fatherhood.

Go and sit down for a while

Calm down and call Az see what he says? 

You know he'll help if you need it.

And thank fuck for that, i stopped being able

to drive like ten minutes ago, Zircon had to

snatch the controls from me

Poor puppy

Are you with Wolf? Get Wolf.

Wolf is certainly. There

He is good.

good dogggg

Relax with him for a bit, it'll make you feel better.

When you get home we can talk more what's going on

If you want.

Mm

Yeah that

That makes sense

Thought it might

hey

I love you

I love you too

Come home soon. I'll see you then

See you then

* * *


	28. It Possibly Counts As A Baker's Dozen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good thing those Diamond houses are fit to house so many guests.

* * *

She already knows who it is at the door. 

No one else would knock so politely.

“Hey, Az,” she absentmindedly greets when she opens the door. (Look at him. He even holds his hand backwards when he knocks. Who does that?)

“I see you’ve been hanging around Connor too much,” he almost smiles. “He’s been getting  _ everyone _ to call me Az these days.”

Adya smiles softly, looking up at him. "It does suit you! Besides,  _ Asteria _ can be pretty intimidating to those who don't know better."

“Fair enough.  _ Steven _ out of a Gem mouth tends to scare people on a good day, too.” His voice says  _ Steven _ , but his song rings  _ honored-crowned-victorious. _ Maybe she can understand where he’s coming from.

"Fitting names all of them," she says, stepping out of the doorway so he can walk through, "It's only natural for someone so _radiant_ , hmm? Strong names for strong deeds."

He practically scoffs at the notion, but the upward tick of his resting smile when he walks inside betrays him anyway.

“... _ Adya? _ ” Connor’s own song wavers out from further within the house. “W-was someone at the door? I can…  _ I can get it _ -”

Az quickly sidles into the living room. It’s a little too fast for her eyes to keep up, but it’s just in time to keep Connor from knocking into a wall. “Alright, slow down there. You shouldn’t be moving around too much like this.”

“M’ _ fine _ ,” Connor grumbles as he falls back onto the couch. “Fuckin’ Diamond brain got t’ me, it’s  _ fine. _ ”

"Sure,  _ that's _ why you've been sitting there since you got home," Adya quips, throwing a look over her shoulder at him while walking into the kitchen. She returns with a fresh icepack, handing it off to Connor before settling down on the next cushion. " _ You’re _ the one who told me you couldn’t even pilot back home. You sounded like a drunk through the whole conversation.”

Az looks down at Connor. “Oh,  _ did _ he now?”

“I’m not  _ drunk _ ,” Connor disjointedly hisses. “I c’n- you court out trillions of Gems, I can tank a damn bakers dozen.” He squints with an afterthought. “Or however many Dozzina counts as. Or somethin’.”

Adya facepalms, shaking her head. "Yes, tank all of them while not being able to finish a thought, puppy, that's what you do."

Az seems to have (rightly) given up on getting a straight answer out of the oversized idiot, turning his next questions to Adya instead. “I suppose they’re somewhere in the house? I’m assuming he at least told them to stay inside while everything’s being processed.”

She scratches her cheek, glancing down the hallway behind them. "Last I saw of them, they were inspecting the furniture in the den. But they were following him all around like baby… baby duck, I think is the right words?” At Az’s little nod, she continues on. “The whole flock of them wasn’t leaving him alone for a bit until you knocked on the door, they scattered after that.”

“You can come out,” Connor wearily sounds, eyes blankly fixated on the ceiling. “Let ‘m get a look at you.”

It's rather like a scene from those American Disney movies. The lithe Pearls seem to wander out of every little nook and cranny in the house, a few even dropping in from the ceiling. At the sight of Az, their eyes widen considerably, and they all whip their heads around to look at Connor in confusion.

“It’s fine,” he says with a little wave of his arm. “None of that salute nonsense ‘n all that. Just…” Slowly, he props up on his elbows and sits up. “...just come on over if one of us says.”

“Do you need some help filing them?” Az softly asks.

“No, no, I did that before the-” His hand absently digs at his brow. “-the fuckin’ headache kicked in. I just don’t know what to  _ do  _ with them. I can’t turn ‘em loose, but I can’t just keep them here like pets! This isn’t  _ Era 1.” _

Adya, who was in the middle of gently petting one of the Pearls, freezes sheepishly.

“Y’re fine,  _ my _ ,” Connor clarifies. “We just can’t keep- they aren’t private  _ property _ , I mean.”

"I see." She nods, smiling as the Pearl bunts her head into her hand again. "Maybe… Maybe they can help around the house, for now? I know you're gone a lot, but I can watch them and give them small tasks to occupy their time."

“They’ll need to take emancipation courses at the Homeschool,” Az starts. “They’re obviously running on old Era code, we’ll need to train it out of them, and they’re minors besides that. And then…” Az straightens up with a small hum. “They are  _ all _ off-color, correct?”

“Off  _ color? _ ” Adya parrots, head cocked in question.

“Emergence defects. It happens in most any caste, of course, but-” Az squints. “-the old Era Pearls were all  _ bespoke _ . Nothing was left to chance. These might be the first and only off-color Pearls to exist at all, there’s no records or standards  _ for _ Pearl mutations. The only way we’ll know anything near what to expect from them is if we brought in one of those proctor-” He blinks. “I’m drifting. We can deal with that stuff later.” He looks back to Connor. “You said you filed their cloudings, right? You up to walk me through it?”

Connor grumbles vaguely into Adya’s shoulder.

“I can do it,” Adya offers. “He gave me crash course when they arrive. They all had little extra names in their files for their mutations, I think?” 

"They should have suffixes in front of their types, yes," Az answers.

She squints into the little crowd, finally settling on someone to point at. "The one with two faces is called Janus. Sprig has an extra arm coming out of her elbow.” Her eyes linger on a Pearl whose gem clusters in three knots on her back. “That one over there, with the cluster on her back, is Braille.” She nods gently at two Pearls quite literally joined at the hip, who smile shyly in turn. “The pair is Twin, obviously.”

“ _ Obviously _ ,” Az nods.

“Her, with the hooves-” Adya points out one with odd, animal-like legs, feet ending like sticks, “-her name is Fawn. Peacock has the pretty eyes.”

Peacock blinks her eyes- all eight of them, scattered around her normal eyes like freckles.

Adya boops one sitting on the arm of the couch, with a gem where her mouth would be. "This is Canary, she likes to hum!" With that little acknowledgement, Canary chirps lightly.

"Mabe over here likes to dance, she can do all sorts of moves!" The Pearl turns, arm hanging loosely in the wrong direction along  _ very _ obvious, doll-like sockets.

One trots over, her little hands (hands?) pattering on the floor where feet would have been. Az’s eyes catch along that detail. “Mirror,” he finishes before Adya can do introductions. “That’s a pretty rare clouding.”

Adya gently picks up one with a long trailing skirt. This one visibly hasn’t walked around like the others. "We called this one Clip? She doesn’t have legs, she just kind of floats around. I'm thinking of maybe should making her a little wheelchair at some point."

She looks down to the one now in her lap, grinning. "And this is Dozzina.”

“And that’s Dozzina,” Connor pipes up, looking at another Pearl that looks exactly the same. “And so is her,” he points at another. “ _ And her. _ ” He sweeps his hands at a dozen total Pearls, completely identical aside from gem placement. “They are all Dozzina. All of them.”

“ _ My stars _ ,” Az whispers, diamond eyes shuttering. “She’s a hivemind?”

“ _ Yeah, _ ” Connor wearily whispers back.

Adya continues petting the closest Dozzina, laughing a little. "I was so confused when they first walked in. I thought all of the Pearls would look like her!"

“Well no wonder you’ve gone and got a headache, this is quite the full house you’ve got here.”

“It’s  _ pathetic _ , is what it is. You have so many Gems and I-” Connor leans his face into his hands. “-how am I supposed to wrangle an entire colony when I can hardly handle courting this little amount of Gems?”

Adya rubs his shoulder, humming sympathetically. "It's your first time, Connor. You'll  _ learn. _ ”

“This was a pretty abnormal situation,” Az concedes, softly jostling Connor’s hair. “I wanted you to ease into it with the gradual population increase of your colony over time. No one was expecting you to be able to court in this many Gems at once, not right  _ now _ .”

Adya hugs Connor’s arm, looking off at the room of chattering Pearls. "Besides, they  _ chose _ you, didn't they? They trust you to do what's needed, and so do we. Just give yourself the time to do it!"

“Just a little time, that’s all,” Az softly trills. “And I’ll still be here to help for as long as you need.”

“I know,” Connor sighs, and this time it almost sounds like he believes it. “I know.”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dozzina: (walking off with breadsticks)  
> connor: stop feeding wolf so many snacks he’ll get fat  
> dozzina: (already feeding wolf garlic bread) what’s a fat


	29. The Royal Entourage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cinna Stop Bullying Connor challenge.

* * *

**CINNA(bar)**

I’m going to a wedding

Space wedding?

Yes

Cool but what does this have to do with me?

I’m inviting you to this wedding

You can’t invite people to other people’s weddings

Hold that thought

* * *

**AD**

I’m courting Cinna Monterey

???

wait is that ok

Yeah it’s fine.

But why?

I just think she’s neat

Fair enough, y’all are friends anyway.

  
  


* * *

**CINNA(bar)**

What’s up, court forgemaster

eh

Check your facet file

EH???

Wait you have your own court

Yeah? Had one the whole time?

In fairness, it’s kinda tiny at the moment.

Wow ok mr Sunrose™ Diamond™

You’re part of my court entourage. Come with me to the wedding

...Connor did you just bullshit

And entire position in your cabinet

and

Fuck You

Did you just bullshit an entire cabinet position

So you could take me to parties

What are you a Zircon? Get off my rock

Wow tell me how you really feel

I mean

You don’t have to come

If you don’t want to

I’m totally down to gatecrash I just wanna

know why

Because...

fuck odin

Oh? Fuck odin?

It’s thor’s wedding

First Of All- can i set anything on fire

We're here to make the groom have fun

and his racist old dad uncomfortable.

fire is completely on the table

Second Of All- YOU JUST KNOW THOR HUH

Yeah?? I fought him on the moon and now

we’re friends

I told you about this

Yeah but i’m dummy stupid

So we’re just cancelling odin now

I understood some of those words individually.

But sure i guess

question: 

is setting odins beard on fire on 'accident' a hatecrime

Dad said we can't do anything to odin

you mean az right

yeah that's what i said

uh huh sure jan

WAIT FUCK HOW DO I DELETE TEXTS

TOO LATE COWARD,

I HAVE SEEN EVERYTHING

FUCK OFF

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoping our American friends stay safe.


	30. Hi, Welcome To [FRANCE]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He's trying, okay?

* * *

**Pubby**

puppy do you want some Mars Facts

adya i'm on mars

yes but i have Mars Facts

from the Human Science

?? Okay

The volcano Olympus Mons is the tallest volcano in the solar system

and also it's the size of Frace!

FRANCE

!!!

That's really cool!

subscribe my youtube for more Cool Mars Facts

but you live in my house???

why do I need to subscribe

When I can just come home and

talk to my lovely wife?

i am trying to make jokes how dARE

* * *

"Alright then, son, what am I looking at?" Az leans forward over the desk.

_Did you know that the volcano Olympus Mons, the tallest volcano in the solar system, is around the same size as France?_

Connor gestures vaguely at his Martian land map. "Welcome to France."

Az just gives him a very confused look.

Connor goes back through his own words and squints. "Wait, _FUCK-_ "

* * *

**LOCK(sley but not robin)**

Oh stars.

What have you done now?

Oh mercy. oh f u c k

someone sew my fucking mouth shut

i can't say words

I'm going to need more than that.

i called mars FRANCE

I'm sorry you w h a t

I WAS IN THE MIDDLE

OF A FUCKING MEETING WITH AZ

AND I CALLED MARS F R A N C E

Wow.

i'm done i'm dead

dead diamond

i can't go to court ever again

Good job, Mr. Emperor of France.

feed me to my Wolf and throw my bones off a fucking cliff

No.

Let me die

LET ME DIE

:)

FUCK YOU TOO LOCKS

* * *


	31. From The Mouths Of Cynics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wolf has more opinions than expected.

* * *

> TRANSCRIPT, CORAL PROTOTYPE: TRANSLATIONS TESTING (1)
> 
> REPORTER: SUNROSE DIAMOND, ASTERIA DIAMOND
> 
> * * *
> 
> [SUNROSE DIAMOND leans in to the recording screen, almost smiling as he checks that it's working.]
> 
> SUNROSE: There we are then. [ _He claps his hands together._ ] This marks the... first?
> 
> ASTERIA: The first, yes.
> 
> SUNROSE: The _first_ recorded testing of the Coral prototypes in the proposed utility- **is that the right word** , _yes it is_ \- the proposed utility to act as universal translators.
> 
> [He turns the screen to show the Jets in the room- an unbroken lion and wolf.]
> 
> SUNROSE: We've got with us _two_ Jets for the record- Cynewulf Helian and... what was Lion's proper name again?
> 
> ASTERIA: Leonidas Asterion.
> 
> SUNROSE: Cynewulf Helian and Leonidas Asterion. Unbroken animal specimens filed with sufficient sophonce they qualified for Jet status, it's a pretty unique case. They've participated as imperial citizens for a short while now but they cannot speak in a learnable language, so they're limited in their capacity to interact with people that aren't, well- _us_.
> 
> ASTERIA: It's certainly an increasingly relevant truth that the Empire is designed by Gems _for Gems_ . Though Jets will always remain an extreme minority population, we don't want this status to become a functional _disability_ in the greater context of the Gem society. Corals were designed from the start to be assistance tools, and the Jet population presents a possible demographic that could greatly benefit from its success.
> 
> SUNROSE: Hence the translation idea. If it'll work for _these_ guys, it's good to work for the Jets in general, I think.
> 
> ASTERIA: Even _if_ the translation thing doesn't quite work out, they could still act as interface proxies with Gem technology, which _does_ solve one of the biggest ongoing problems in Jet integration.
> 
> SUNROSE: Should be fun.
> 
> ASTERIA: Or at least interesting to watch.
> 
> SUNROSE: But at this point we really should just get on with it.
> 
> [ASTERIA DIAMOND walks off-screen and returns with a small hexagonal storage unit containing two Corals, coaxing one onto his hand.]
> 
> ASTERIA: We should probably try Lion first?
> 
> SUNROSE: Sounds like favoritism but okay.
> 
> [Note: The test subject, LEONIDAS ASTERION, is wearing a very tiny biker cap to better accommodate the Coral. But mostly, he just wanted to wear a hat.]
> 
> [The Coral is docked into the hat.]
> 
> LEONIDAS (Coral prox.): I guess this is a thing now.
> 
> ASTERIA: Ah! You talk now!
> 
> LEONIDAS: I was talking the whole time, but okay.
> 
> ASTERIA: Well, yes. But now you can talk _words!_
> 
> LEONIDAS: Does this mean I can have my own ice cream list now?
> 
> ASTERIA: I don’t know, can you _pay_ for your own ice cream?
> 
> [A silence.]
> 
> LEONIDAS: Can I have a credit card-
> 
> * * *
> 
> ASTERIA: I think that went well!
> 
> LEONIDAS (background): Does this mean I can order pizza now?
> 
> ASTERIA: _I think that went well._
> 
> LEONIDAS (still in the background): I like pizza.
> 
> ASTERIA: You can order pizza _after_ the test is done, sweetheart. We still have to do Wolf.
> 
> [The test subject, CYNEWULF HELIAN, wags his body with such obvious excitement that it’s actually pretty difficult to dock the Coral into the collar meant to accommodate it.]
> 
> SUNROSE: Wolf- _Wolf, you actually have to hold still_.
> 
> [An attempt is made. It is only partially successful, and there’s still a lot of rampant tail wagging involved.]
> 
> [The Coral is docked into the collar.]
> 
> [CYNEWULF is largely silent.]
> 
> SUNROSE: Maybe it didn’t work-
> 
> CYNEWULF (Coral prox.) (loud): I WANT TO EAT THE RICH.
> 
> SUNROSE: Not this again.
> 
> ASTERIA: _Again?_
> 
> CYNEWULF (loud): I WANNA EAT ODIN.
> 
> SUNROSE: Wolf, we’ve talked about this, you can’t just _eat_ people you don’t like.
> 
> CYNEWULF: I will eat the rich. I will rob their graves and crunch their horrible fragile bones.
> 
> SUNROSE: I’m pretty sure you’d get sick.
> 
> CYNEWULF: What if I [PASSAGE REDACTED].
> 
> ASTERIA: No, [ _He drags a hand across his face._ ] that would be _illegal._ So, _so_ illegal.
> 
> CYNEWULF: Okay.
> 
> CYNEWULF: HEY IF YOU DIE CAN I HAVE YOUR BONES?
> 
> SUNROSE (to ASTERIA): _I am so sorry for my rude son._
> 
> ASTERIA (apparently taking this as a legitimate request): I mean… I need those bones to live.
> 
> CYNEWULF (cheerfully): Not if you’re dead!
> 
> * * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so anyway lion sounds like jotaro jjba and wolf sounds like q star trek. there's nothing you can do about this. it's canon. **weep**


	32. (Spa)ce

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Lapidary**
> 
> _Bathhouse is a common translation, and such structures are common in Gem districts for sterilization purposes, but a bathhouse is no lapidary. Lapidaries are the facilities where ichor is extracted, stored, used, and distributed- there is only one per colony. Gems and Jets will gather in order to partake in the substance through various means, or to collect for their own purposes._
> 
> _These places are vital to the flourishing of any colony and are often the first permanent structures built on a planet, long before any form of conventional construction has begun, with the first users being the colony builders themselves. The first stock of ichor is imported from a nearby colony, but the Diamonds themselves make rounds to replenish supply._
> 
> _Compared to the often utilitarian nature of the old Era aspects of Gem life, the lapidaries have always been a small luxury across castes._

* * *

“You told me this was a _spa_ ,” Adya half-squeaks.

“Yeah.” Connie shrugs her shirt off. “And?”

“ _Why are we being naked?_ "

"Why would you wear clothes in a tub?” Connie shoves a thing of fabric into Adya’s arms. “Besides, we’re not _naked_ naked, we have bathing skirts.”

_"_ Somehow that fails to comfort _, attan."_ Adya holds the thing out in front of her, grimacing over how light the garment was. "I… _How often do you do this?"_

“Not really that often? It’s basically a spa day for us. The Gems have taken me along to the one on Earth here and there, it’s been nice.”

“Wait.” Adya squints, regretting a bit that she’s already taken off her glasses. “Did we go _off planet_ for this??”

"Yep." Connie gestures to the red marbling of the floors, and to the deep crimson horizon outside the window. "This is your boy's! Welcome to Mars.”

Adya grips her towel and skirt firmly in front of herself. “He’s not _here_ right now, is he?”

“Hah! Nah.” Connie waves her hand back out the door of the changing room. “The Diamonds have their own thing going, we can meet up with them later.” She sarcastically ruffles Adya’s hair. “Your modesty is safe, my poor darling cousin.”

_"Is it? Is it really?"_

“As safe as it’s ever gonna be with this kinda crowd!” Cinna barks as she steps out from behind her curtain. “Seriously, no one’s gonna notice unless you _make_ it noticeable.” She looks down at her freshly disarmed, mottled stump. “Or if _you’re_ noticeable, I guess.”

Adya groans, walking past the curtain behind her and shaking her head. "Are you even _able_ to take big baths like this?”

“Nope!” Cinna shuffles her prosthetic into a locker. “But they’ve got lava baths here, and I _can_ get in on that."

"Sounds _magma-netic,_ " Connie grins, leaning on the wall behind her. "I'm pretty fond of the salt baths, myself- they always leave my skin all sparkly."

“Lava baths,” Adya scoffs. “I don’t know why I’m even surprised anymore.” 

Even so, she shrugs off her own clothes, attempting not to dwell on the knowledge that she’s the least buff person in this room by a _wide_ margin (and failing). At least the skirt was comfortable- Gems really were great with fabrics. No uncomfortable mesh or need to stretch the waistband on these, they almost seemed to mold to the shape of the wearer.

“It’s still going to be weird,” Adya mutters.

“It’s not gonna be weird, it’s not a _swimming pool_. We’ve got a few baths for us, it’s all spread out,” Cinna reassures.

"And it's not like it'll just be us. We're gonna meet up with Bismuth and Lapis outside the fountain gates!" Connie straightens back up, looking back and forth between the curtain and Cinna. "They'll be the same as they always are, it'll only be as weird as you make it, cuz."

“Okay, okay,” Adya shyly concedes as she finally steps out from her little changing area. “I’m just… _kind-of-not-used-to-not-having-a-bra-in-public,_ ” she quickly blurts.

"It's gonna be okay, Adya! Don't worry, the Gems won't say a thing about it." 

“Just free the tiddy,” Cinna sagely adds. Connie wheezes in the background.

“I hate you,” Adya says without an ounce of bite. “That was so cursed, I hate you, I’m leaving you all right now.”

“No, come back-”

“Embrace the freedom!”

“ _Bye_ , losers,” Adya loudly sounds as she goes out the door.

Wait.

_Wait, fuck, I don’t know how to find the gate._

Unable to admit defeat, Adya soldiers on anyway, hoping that the colorful tiles on the ground double as signposts. Which they do- eventually she finds her way to the proper fountain gates. (She totally knew that would happen. Yep.)

Like she said she’d be, Bismuth is there (and _oh boy_ , Adya is realizing the bathing skirts are for _everyone_ , huh), waving her wide arms while a svelte blue Gem (Lapis?) leans against the gate pillars.

“Glad you could join us, girls! The new lapidaries are always fun.” Bismuth leans down, hiding her whisper behind a large hand. “I hope y’all don’t mind I brought the kiddie crowd along for this one, thought they could use a little treat.”

She points behind her, and Sunrise Jasper waves awkwardly back, flanked by a shoulder-gemmed Sapphire and a familiar gaggle of Pearls.

“HI!” A random voice shouts next to her ear. “I CAN WORDS NOW!”

Adya flinches at the sudden noise, looking around only to find herself looking up into the eyes of a familiar red fuzzball. _"Wolf??"_

Wolf wags his tail. “I am Wolf!”

“ _How._ ”

Wolf lightly scratches at the new golden torc framing his neck, and a tiny, antlered little thing comes out. “Hi! Hi!” it parrots. “I am Wolf!”

Adya gasps, eyes lighting up as her hands clasp over her mouth. _"Oh my Lord you are adorable."_

“Oh shit?” Connie leans in to stare at the creature. “So Steven got those Corals working. Huh.”

“This is a Gem?” Adya skeptically asks.

“Nah, it’s some kind of little robot pet thing, you’d have to ask him or Connor about it.”

_"Did everybody know of these sweet babies before I did?"_

“I have _no_ idea what the fuck those are,” Cinna squints, “but it’s cute, I guess.”

“Lion is here but inside.” Wolf lets his tongue loll out of his mouth as he sits, panting happily. “Lion wants to make special confusing water and did not wait. He does not like waiting for others." Wolf's tail thumps loudly on the ground. “I waited because I am the _good son_.”

Adya giggles and scratches his chin the way he likes. "You are! You're the _best son."_ Her voice dips a little as she gets muffled by the wall of fur shuffling closer and closer to her.

“Also I am showing you where he is so everyone is in the water together.” With that, Wolf shakes out some leftover condensation in his fur, padding inside. The other Gems inside don’t even raise their eyebrows- he must have been around here earlier.

Just like Connie promised, it really _was_ nothing like a swimming pool. The marble ground is textured with cultivated roughness- probably to be easier for wet feet to walk on- and maybe fountain was a better word then bath after all. This area is a tiered maze of tubs and aqueducts, ever varying in size and depth to host whatever type of Gem dared to pass by. The air hangs with a fog of perfumes and soaps, every combination one could imagine rising from the steam of each passed tub. 

This colony shouldn’t have many people living here, last Adya had heard, and there’s certainly no _Jets_ to be found yet. Even still, the lapidary is far from empty, crawling with the heavy barreled bodies of laborers, the stout frames of Quartzes, the lithe forms of pilots and mechanics.

Lion has already made himself at home, resting his head on a towel while the rest of him sits languidly in a tub swimming with colors and flowers- probably the so-called _confusing water_ Wolf mentioned him wanting.

“Lion!” Wolf smiles innocently. “You are a terrible son! Everyone said so.”

“No we didn’t,” Connie corrects.

“Everyone said so,” Wolf repeats.

Lion rolls his eyes, snorting loudly. “Meh.”

Connie wafts the steam from the water over to her, smelling it. "So what’s this concoction of yours, Lion? Looks like you've got half the ingredients available in here already."

“I like flowers,” Lion helpfully elaborates. He also tilts his head towards a big board that looks suspiciously like a menu, which is _actually_ helpful. And maybe Wolf likes flowers, too, since he eagerly hops in with him, tail rippling the water with its wagging.

"... So you got every scented flower on the list. Makes sense." Connie shrugs, stepping into the tub next to him and sinking into the warm water in delight. " _Mmmm_ , I always forget how tingly these are at first."

Lapis sinks into the tub with her, while Bismuth eyes the _other_ , far more fiery tub that’s been set up. “You got a lava bath set up already? _Nice._ ”

Bismuth and Cinna drop into their horrifyingly dangerous soak. “You wanna get in on this?” Cinna jokingly offers to Adya. “It’ll really _burn off_ the bacteria.”

Adya snorts, shaking her head. "Can't take the heat on that one. Have fun, _hot-heads._ ”

Sunrise and the Sapphire pop in with Connie before Adya does, the Sapphire sitting on one of the raised stairs, while the Pearls poke unsurely at the shimmery water of their tub like they don’t know what to do with it.

“That tub is _for_ you,” Adya reassures as she slides in next to Lapis. “You can get in.”

Mirror, needing no more encouragement, clambors into the liquid and chirps contentedly as she floats up to the surface. Her sisters soon follow suit (though Dozzina, as many as she is, wisely takes up another tub), and then it's quite the merry gathering.

Lapis takes a look at the menu board by their tub, humming with newfound interest. “I think they’ve been updating with stuff from human spas.” She passes it over to Connie. “They’re serving snacks now, too.”

“Oh damn, really? Lemme see that.” Bismuth looks at the board by her and Cinna’s tub with an appreciative whistle. “They got _starberry_ cuts? The builders ordered _fancy_ when they were stockin’.”

“Wait, they have food here?” Adya asks. “I thought Gems outside of Earth didn’t really eat.”

“It's certainly a new trend," Connie comments as she reaches over at the Pearl tub, making a small whirlpool with her finger for the Pearls to spin in. "But it's spreading fast. Apparently one of the reasons Gems never ate before Earth is because that's _when they found out they could_. Between all the liberation and new political shifts from Era 3, most Gems are far more willing to try out new things than they were- food being one of their top demands."

Adya turns to the Sapphire. “What about you? Do you eat?”

“I ate _once_ ,” Sapphire notes. “It was a celebration for transferring to Sunrose’s court. Sunset Sapphire,” she answers before Adya even asks. “I’m new.”

Adya smiles, sticking out her hand to shake. "I suppose we'll be seeing a lot of each other, if you're in the same court! I'm Adya."

"Adya." Sunset returns the gesture as much as her smaller hands allow. “That would be nice. Thank you.”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A year ago today, I posted the first chapter of what would eventually become the series _For A Diamond Is A Marveled Thing_.


	33. Excerpts From Out Of A Lava Lamp

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Girl's night out?

* * *

“Why is there fruit in the bath menu?” Adya asks.

“You can use those in baths,” Lapis answers. “They come in slices and they just float on the top of the water.”

“That’s bullshit, but I believe it.”

=<>=

“Okay, the charcoal  _ has _ to be on the wrong menu, who’s eating that?”

There’s a very loud crunch. Adya looks to the left. Cinna is cracking charcoal in her mouth like chips.

"... That's actually not even the weirdest thing I've seen you do. Carry on."

=<>=

Lapis squints over at Bismuth and Cinna’s tub. “You’ve never ordered this much food at the lapidaries before.”

“That’s because  _ Pearl’s _ with us all those other times,” Bismuth mumbles past a fried green tomato. “I don’t wanna be weird.”

Connie grins, looking over at the burly Gem. "Just let me know if you want to go eat, Bis- no weirdness and no Pearl." She stands, posing dramatically. "Whatever you wanna try, I shall be your foodie guide!"

“Pfft,  _ okay _ , Mrs. Cosmopolitan.”

=<>=

_ "Wolf, no, those trays are for display-!" _

“ _ Then why do they look so delicious- _ ”

=<>=

Adya glances suspiciously at Connie. “Why do you know so much about flower baths? Did you become fancy while I wasn’t looking?”

"Bold of you to assume I wasn't  _ always _ fancy, Adya!" She laughs, waving off the question. "You tend to learn more than you ever need to about plants when your wife becomes a garden connoisseur." Connie grabs a mug off the tray, sipping at some juice. “Also Steven keeps radiating flowers if he sleeps for more than a few hours and I had to do  _ something _ with all of the petals.”

A pause.

“ _ Wait, does Connor do that too- _ ”

=<>=

Sunset's been looking at her. Adya can feel her gaze on her back, the intensity seeming to make the spot burn. She turns, brows raised. "Uh.. is there something the matter?"

The Sapphire stays still for a moment before registering the question. "Ah, no, just seeing how many timestreams follow this set of events to try and see when my Diamond shall arrive. If my calculations are correct, he should be coming through about-"

Adya doesn't hear the rest of her statement, having quickly submerged herself in the water and fervently hoping that the bright blush doesn't show through the shimmery surface.

“Hah!” Cinna bites at the starberry she and Bismuth have split. “ _ Coward. _ ”

=<>=

Dozzina has found that Lapis is the best partner for water games. After all, who else can make a water mech that she can pilot with all her selves?

=<>=

Lapis and Dozzina are politely (politely) informed not to make water mechs in public lapidary spaces.

=<>=

_ “Sooooooo, _ ” Connie starts, a dangerous smile slipping onto her face, “How’s life been since you moved in with Big Red? Enjoying your newfound privacy, I imagine?” She winks.

“You stop that.”

“Come on,” Cinna teases, propping her one good arm on the side of her tub. “I  _ bet _ it’s nice. That house must have a  _ fantastic view _ .”

Adya loudly splashes at Connie. “SHUT!”

The peals of laughter that follow linger in the halls long after the moment has passed.

=<>=

_ “Um, is there a bathroom in here?” _

A random attendant shows up two inches from Connie’s shoulder. “Yes, there’s one right-”

Adya and Connie both scream and flinch back.

The attendant blinks. “Anyway, like I was saying-”

=<>=

Adya pokes Bismuth, face scrunched up in concentration as she looks off at the distant walls. “What’re those pipe thingies in the walls? There’s colors and I hear sloshing and stuff, but I have no clue what it is.”

She looks to the aqueducts that line the walls and ceiling, transporting vast quantities of ichor and water throughout the facilities. “Those pipelines carry all the liquids of the lapidary- And believe me, there’s a lot of options here- from the springs where we collect them to the tubs we sit in now.” Bismuth spares a thankful nod for a passing assistant dropping another rock into her lava bath. “Sure, the stuff gets mixed in by hand, but the water and ichors still gotta  _ get _ here.”

“Ah.” Adya looks down under the surface of the water, at the flowing mouths and eyes of odd little gargoyles carved into relief on the sides of the tub. ”Thanks, I’m so blind without my glasses I’d almost convinced myself that you put lava lamps into the ceiling.”

“Well,” Lapis cranes her head up, “they do have a lot of shiny light stuff floating around in bubbles.”

“Why?”

“We did it for the aesthetic. Aesthetic and  _ morp _ .”

“...  _ Do I even want to ask?” _ _   
  
_

=<>=

Adya tentatively pops an ichored chocolate into her mouth, blinking at the surprising kick. “What even  _ is _ ichor anyway? I keep hearing about it but no one’s actually told me what it is.”

Connie snorts. “Ichor is just Diamond jooce.”

Cinna nods. “Shiny Diamond sauce.”

“Goes with chocolates,” Bismuth tiredly sounds.   


Lapis smiles a little, shaking her head. “Definitely not water.”

“I don’t know why I even try.”

=<>=

“HEY MOM CAN I HAVE A STEAK?”

Adya chokes on her drink. “I’m sorry,  _ what? _ ”

“I want a steak,” Wolf repeats to Adya.

Connie turns to Wolf. “I don’t think they have that.”

“Okay!” A pause. “When we go home, can I have a steak?”

=<>=

_ “No no no, little ducks, you can’t go down the drain pipes-” _

There’s a vaguely disappointed chorus of chirps as several Pearls resurface from under the water.

=<>=

  
_ Notice to all attendees: _ _   
_ _   
_ _ If you have the desire to dry yourself off, there is a towel compartment at the end of every bath. Please refrain from “shake drying.” it is distressing to guests. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Thank you-  _ _   
_ _ Management. _

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> double update in Honor of FADIAMT's one year anniversary!


	34. So About That Supposed Blood Box

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **On Ichors**
> 
> _Of course, on the most basic level, ichor is already supremely vital on one point alone- that it is the necessary component by which Gems are made. But it is more than that._
> 
> _It codes their technology, guides their infrastructures, permeates their architecture and every aspect of their lands. Wherever there are Gems, this strange lifeblood soon follows and lingers long after they’ve gone._
> 
> _The new Era is one of both change and prosperity, and with it, new discoveries. Medical usage is an ever changing field for both Gems and Jets alike, as is experimentation to grant temporary status effects of different kinds._

* * *

Nacarat Zircon keeps her nose down to her data when she senses someone else nearby. “You shouldn’t be here,” she pointedly sounds, barely starting to look up, “this area is authorized personnel only  _ oHH MY STARS- _ ”

To his credit, Sunrose Diamond only flinches back a  _ little _ at the sudden shout. “Uh. Hi?”

“I am  _ so sorry- _ ”

“No, no, it’s fine.”

“-it is  _ utterly embarrassing _ of me-”

“ _ Really, it’s fine, I get it- _ ”

=<>=

Every lapidary has its own attendants. It’s only natural- people come from all over the colony to relax, and it would be  _ beyond _ careless to simply trust anyone with the flow of such crucial, precious wares. The process took  _ years _ to learn and longer to master, and that instills a great pride of work in the precious few who make it all the way through.

And even fewer still can attend the extraction chambers, waiting on the  _ Diamonds themselves _ . Contrary to assumptions, it is not necessarily the most experienced, nor the most skillful, who are selected- though such things are certainly taken into consideration, of course. The most valued quality for attending to the Diamonds is a good  _ temperament _ . Anyone can lay towels, crush herbs, or stir waters with enough training, but it does take a certain resilience to look one’s own makers in the eye as part of the job, a resilience that can’t quite be trained.   
  
_ That resilience has no bearing if you insult your bosses, however. _

Lemon Citrine carefully walks by to scruff a hovering Aquamarine. “ _ Don’t stare _ ,” her song clips quietly. 

" _ Hey, I just wanted to see! _ ”

“You  _ are _ seeing,” Citrine insists as she hefts a bucket of stones against her hip, “and you should be a little less obvious about it before  _ someone _ notices.”

“ _ Alright _ ,” Aquamarine chirps indignantly. “I just- well-”

“Yes?”

“I wasn’t expecting, um-” the little flying Gem trails off. “-I wasn’t expecting there to be so many  _ scars _ .”

Citrine stiffens, a mortified expression coming over her features. “ _ Definitely  _ don’t let anyone hear you saying that! You risk yourself-  _ your position- _ if a manager hears you gossiping about our Diamonds. And  _ besides that _ ,” she pointedly adds as they sidle into a service elevator, “you’ve been on the job long enough to know how a Gem could become scarred in the first place. They’ve been through quite enough nonsense, far too much for someone to chatter about it behind their backs.”

=<>=

“They’re whispering,” Connor mumbles. “And they’re  _ staring _ .” The scars adorning his body shiver, obviously uncomfortable.

“They aren’t  _ used _ to you,” Yellow softly corrects. “You haven’t made many public appearances and you haven’t been on broadcast. It’s the first time most of these Gems have seen you at all.”

Connor hums uncertainly, mind painfully aware of all the raking slashes on his wrists and the deeply dug divots on his spine. “Guess I’m a real  _ sight _ to see at the moment.”

Yellow scoffs, her blue tipped claws curling in stark contrast to the molten bronze veins tarnishing her hands, creeping on her shoulders. “Aren’t we all?”

Blue tilts her head to Yellow as she combs her long cloudy hair to one side. A river of dark, teary lines flows down her neck, framing her chest right under her gem. “The gyrs haven’t exactly been kind to us. We’ve had more  _ time _ to scar than most.”

Even if it hadn’t been in their bodies, it was crystal clear on their faces- shadowy lines of age, stress, and restlessness, even on White’s otherwise unsettlingly pristine self. They may be immortal, but never let it be said that Gems are  _ ageless. _

Even  _ Az _ can’t escape it. Even if he’s not quite as old as the others, even if it hasn’t gotten to his face like it had the rest of him. Connor had seen pieces of it before- a shoulder here, a bit of neck there, the places his clothes aren’t really expected to cover- but never in its entirety.

Connor wouldn’t ever say it out loud, but  _ holy fuck, he kind of looks like a wreck _ . A wide crash trajectory of rose-curling scars digging out Az’s back like he’d been one of his own gardens, and it  _ moves _ like the thorns on Connor’s arms do, sometimes.

(Hmm. Maybe Connor  _ wasn't  _ the sight to see in that room. Or, at least, not the only one.)

“Try to relax, Connor.” Az leans against the bath with closed eyes. “It’ll just take longer if you don’t.”

"Hmph. I  _ am _ relaxed," Connor mutters, not relaxed at all.

“And that’s why you haven’t even let down your hair,” White smugly smiles. She looked far smaller when her hair was wet; it was a little shocking to see that her head indeed  _ wasn't  _ as big as her hair.

“Ugh, fine.” He snatches his hairpin back into his gem, letting his curls tumble down around his shoulders. “Y’all happy now?”

Blue smiles, admiring the length and sheen of his locks. "It  _ has _ developed quite well, I must say. Although, given your father's stock, that isn't exactly surprising."

Connor blinks for a second, briefly (stupidly) wondering if she’s talking about _Greg_ ~~or Az~~ before shutting _that_ train of thought down as quickly as it came. “ _Okay_ ,” he moves to stand, “it’s been like fifteen minutes already, I think that’s pretty clean, _are we done, I feel like we’re done_ -”

But before he can climb out, Az just  _ bonks _ him back in with a sudden shield, like herding a puppy. “Extraction, not a bath. You’re not leaving until you’re properly relaxed and extracted.”

“Hmmmm.”

“You haven’t even combed the red out of your hair.”

“ _ Mmmmm. _ ”

_ "Connor." _

“You can’t make me do anything,” he hisses as he sinks down into the water.

"There you go." Az affectionately replies. "How's the water?"

“It’s… fine.”

“I’ll have someone bring up the heat. We’re a little low on steam,” White notes.

Connor taps his claws on the edge of his tub, sighing heavily. "So how long  _ does _ this take, anyway?"

“Might take an hour or so,” Az recalls. “You’re gonna have to get comfy.”

“Mm.”

Blue gently brandishes her comb under her yellow-tipped claws. “Do you want some help getting the ichor out of your hair?”

“...Yeah.”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~blue and yellow wearing eachother's nail colors because marriage pog~~


	35. Penthouse?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adya checks in on her wife.

* * *

At some point they’d left the baths, lounging about elsewhere and filling up on more comfort foods. Mars wasn’t much to look at city-wise at the moment, but there was still something pretty about the freshly terraformed landscape, snow and sea and all. (There might have been suspiciously crystalline crabs burrowing in and out of the snow, but no one can really say.)

Connie wasn’t with them- she’d gotten called away earlier when they were just leaving the main lapidary, and Lion had left with her. In other news, Az and Connor weren’t exactly joining them in a timely manner, which doesn’t seem to surprise Bismuth or Lapis.

Adya feels like maybe, _just a little_ , there’s probably a lot of unspoken cultural homework she should catch up on, because the longer she has to think about any kind of Gem common sense, the more she realizes she probably looks like an idiot.

She mentally resolves to ask Connie if there’s a Gem version of Wikipedia or some kind of culture class in Little Homeschool she can sign on for the summer, when an attendant Gem whispers to her that a certain Sunrose Diamond is asking for her. ~~Hopefully not while he’s in the bath. Adya’s not really ready for that.~~

But they’re not heading to wherever the Diamonds have their baths (it doesn't look like it, at least). The attendant leads her further in along the veinlike walkways Gem architecture is so fond of, to these interconnected… suites, it looks like, doors flanked by stout golden Gems. The path turns red (and why wouldn’t it, really), and the attendant briefly curtsies her tunic after opening the door, leaving Adya to her own devices.

She was right- the place really was a proper suite, albeit some Gem equivalent to it. Maybe the better word is more of a den, or kind of a nest, because there’s so many clustered spaces of sinfully soft things that it’s nearly tempting to fall asleep into the nearest oversized pillow. Pillows and blankets and curtains and soft lights hanging suspended in bubbles.

“Adya?” Connor squints open one of his eyes. “How’d you get here?”

“You _called_ me over here.”

“Oh, right,” he laughs a little slowly, “I did. I did that.” He half collapses back onto his cushions. “That was smart, I probably shouldn’ be ‘lone right now.”

Adya squints at the tiredness in his eyes, the untidy tousle of his hair, the way his bathrobe loosely trails open right to his gem and he doesn’t even seem to notice. “Are you drunk right now?”

“No…?” his song trails off like an uncertain question. “I’m just…” Connor’s head sinks down into Adya’s shoulder. “ _I’m really tired…_ ”

“What did you do that got you so tired, puppy?”

“Fuckin’ stuck me in a blood box,” Connor murmurs. “Had a fuckin’ blood stealing party with alllll the other Diamonds.”

“Hmm.”

* * *

**American Girl**

Kahaani

Kaani

Konnie

Connie

American Connie

Darling cousin

Wha

What is a blood box?

A what now

Connor’s all loopy and tire and say he was stuck in a diamond blood box

Oh that

Yeah that’s extraction

That’s just a thing they have to do, that’s normal

Is he ok???

Yeah he just needs some snacks and hugs and he’ll be fine

Is this why you got called off earlier

Are you giving the Snack And Hug to your wife

perhaps 

* * *

“Hey.” Adya gently pokes Connor’s face. “Did you have something to eat? Connie says you should have something to eat.”

“Mmm. I think I ordered up some stuff before you came.”

“Good.” With that, she gently cards though his hair. “Then maybe you should take a nap. I’ll wake you up when the food is here.”

“You _just_ got here,” his song tiredly drags on. “I don’t wanna be rude.”

“And I’ll still be here when you wake up,” she singsongs as she gently shakes his head.

Not that it’s any struggle for him to fall asleep for her- as it is, he’s an oversized bundle of purring putty in her arms, his sleepy little trills echoing down into her bones. Which is nice, but now she’s realizing that he’s fallen asleep on top of her and she can’t move without disturbing him.

_Well fuck. Guess I’ll die._

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the diamonds are all varying degrees of Tired And Useless after a full extraction


	36. A Smoothie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor and Cinna discuss wedding gifts.

* * *

**Napoleon**

Quick question connor

Am i supposed to bring a wedding gift to the thor wedding

I mean I’m bringing a wedding gift but you’re like

My plus one

so I don't think you have to. unless you wanna do something chaotic

Am now thinking up something chaotically gay as we speak

Good

Wait so what’s your wedding gift

Animals count as a wedding gift right

…

Connor what is your wedding gift

Animals Count As A Wedding Gift, Right

OP what the fuck does that mean

I’m not asking for judgement i’m asking for answers

...i have decided to answer Yes

Cool

Connor

Connor come back here

Connor

What’s the wedding gift, OP

CONNOR

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! The following chapters are part of a daily queue, as I am currently out of town doing (non-tragic) family business and will be too busy to write chapters normally. This may last upwards of five days. After that, updates will go back to normal, so hang in tight!


	37. Let Me See What You Have

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Az does a suspicion.

* * *

“So, uh,  _ Connor _ ,” Az squints. 

Connor pets a suspiciously large and red goat that may or may not have two heads. “Evenin’.”

“What’s that ya got there?” Az asks.

Connor sips at his tall mug. “A star shake.”

A silence.

“It’s got starberries in it,” Connor continues. “The ice cream’s nice and heavy.”

“Huh. Where’d you get that?”

“There’s a new shop outside Earths’ lapidary, I could show you some time.”

“That’d be nice.”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the star shake is an item in _The Light_ game series, a canon game series for SU, that refills action points for a turn.


	38. Space Dad!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Space dad! A dad, but in space!

* * *

**Watermelogisty**

Dad!

I am invited to a ✨Wedding✨

That’s great, son

Would you like to come with me to the wedding?

People usually bring their wife to these kind of things, kiddo

Well, yes, Connie is also going.

But this is a royal wedding.

In space!

Where I am also there as a 

👑Royal Fancy Boy👑

So I can bring whoever I want, really.

Cool!

But why do you want to bring me to a space wedding?

It sounded like something you’d have fun at.

Ya got me there

I’ll go find where my suit is

Can I play some tunes when I’m there?

I think that would be nice!

...Can I, perhaps, bring the van

for staging purposes

Dad

Are you asking me to take your space van to space

yes

I love you so much.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> greg: :)  
> aesir: who's that  
> az: that's my emotional support bard  
> greg: (strums guitar)  
> aesir: _enchanting_


	39. EH?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lars gets asked on a date.

* * *

**Work Wife**

Stars!

Are you aware of Thor’s wedding?

perhaps

I am going!

I am also taking Jasper and Connie,

because they’re part of my standard entourage.

lmao have fun

I am also, Perhaps, taking you,

if you want.

EH

You are my Lieutenant? Very important.

Yellow and Blue are also bringing their lieutenants.

Ah ok

And also because I love you. :)

EH???

It will be very nice and have dancing and good food,

and it would be nice if you were there with me and Connie.

And you’re okay with that

Okay with what?

You and connie being seen with me like that

...Yes.

Is that weird for you?

I mean

I don’t think so?

I don’t really know, i haven’t been in this kind of

Thing

before

You can just be my lieutenant for the day,

if you’re more comfy with that.

I’d just like you to be there, that’s all.

Yeah i think that’d be better

Sorry that i’m kind of uh

slow? 

With all this feelings bullshit like

I know

I know you care more about the emotion stuff than the

physical stuff and i know it’s probably

REALLY WEIRD for you

that i’m

Not as confident with this kind of stuff

Like i act with other shit

It’s okay!

You don’t need to be ready for everything

all at once.

I’m happy with whatever you’re comfortable with.

Fuck i

?

Nothing nothing

just live forever, you

Great fucking person

I love you too.

* * *


	40. it was either fred or neowise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He always writes such measured words. It sounds foreboding sometimes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Accessibility warning for vision or reading impaired: this chapter contains minor passages with exotic formatting. These are deliberate stylistic choices and are not intended to be visually/verbally coherent.

* * *

**Dearest Darling Time Son (boy)**

Good evening, Connor.

Yes hello

Connor.

Yes??

Do you know where I am, Connor?

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh no

I’m on Selenopolis right now, Connor.

I am in my office.

Aight

Connor. 

Is this a threat it feels like a threat

Adamas, darling, my.

Dad you’re scaring me

I walked into my office earlier.

There was something on my desk, Connor.

It was very interesting.

Do you know what it was?

I do not know what it was

But Please Don’t Kill Me?

There was a lobster, Connor.

Sitting on my desk.

Fuck

I think this is very interesting,

because last I checked,

we did not put live crustaceans on the moon!

I’m very curious to know why that is.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck

Why was there a lobster on my desk, Connor? Is there a purpose for this?

Um

Well

Uh

You see

Oh, so you did have something to do with this.

IN MY DEFENSE, FRED WAS AN ACCIDENT

...Fred.

WHAT’S UP, SAY HI TO FRED

(Adya named him, she said I’m not allowed

to name things anymore 

because I named a wolf Wolf.

I have no idea what she’s talking about.)

Hmm.

In My Defense!

I thought he was still alive!

And what might that mean, pray tell?

It means

Uh

I didn’t mean to make a teleporting lobster?

So- Just to make sure I’m getting this right-

you made an unbroken lobster in the midst of all of this,

and decided to drop him off on the moon?

On my desk?

I didn’t make him on purpose i really thought

he was still alive it’s just very hard to tell with invertebrates

and i thought “hey it’s a lobster it can’t make noises anyway,

it probably won’t do anything weird it’ll just be space colored”

and then i may or may not have had peridot make a tank and then

given adya a pet lobster because hAHA PETS ARE GOOD FOR LIKE

CHILD DEVELOPMENT RIGHT IT WOULD BE NICE IF THE PEARLS

HAD A PET OR SOMETHING AND I

DIDN’T THINK IT WOULD TELEPORT TO THE MOON

… So you accidentally murdered and revived a lobster to make a pet for your wife and children.

I DID NOT MURDER FRED, HE WAS JUST THERE

OUTSIDE THE MARTIAN OUTPOST

I think he was one of the colonizing animals or something

And then from there, naturally, decided to commission Peridot to make you a tank.

After which the aforementioned “Fred” then decided, miraculously, to appear right atop my desk on the Moon, where even Lion has difficulty getting to in one jump.

Ididnotknowthiswouldhappeniamverysorryitwon’thappenagain???

I am not angry, I am exceedingly confused.

This sounds like a trap

It’s really not?

There’s a lobster on My Desk, and That’s Weird!

Yes well

I put it there but by accident so

Please hold off on murdering me until

after thor’s wedding

Wait, you put it here?  
  


Indirectly! By accident!

I didn’t realize it could even teleport!

It can’t even vocalize, I don’t know how it

got there either

Oh, well, he just snapped his claws. Fred is no longer on My Desk.

Is this a problem?

Hm.

Connor.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm

Connor, is this a problem?

Son please.

The lobster has found its way back to the tank

Oh, good.

Also, wonderful to realize you meant a fish tank

and not a tactical one.

I was worried for a moment.

HAHA I WOULD NEVER (let you find out)

Also, are we considering this creature

to be a new member of the unbroken?

probably

Well, that’s another one for the facet numbers, I suppose.

But tank ambiguity aside

How Fucking Dead Am I Right Now?

You’re going to have to elaborate on that.  
  


Regarding he uh

Unsanctioned Lobster

Why would you die?

Is this lobster an illegal alien, do I need to file paperwork?

I mean

No

But i uh

I did uh

T t t t t t t t t tt t

  
  


Connor are you okay?

I I I I I INCIDENCE REPORT 1-A-49

Asset asset asset PRIME ALPHA SUSPECTED

OF LOCALIZED POWER OUTAGE AFTER

FAILURE TO COMPLY WITH TESTING

FURTHER PROCESSING MAY BE REQUIRED

REQUEST PROCESSED

fuckingbastardcan’tcooperate(take it to medical)  
  


Connor I’m gonna need you to breathe for a sec.

Whtthe

Thef c k

Is this LOG DATE [TIME LOG REDACTED]

You’re broadcasting, Connor.

Take a second and try and regain your train of thought.

You’ve hit a block with your currently available information, it’s leading to errors and it can be a bit overwhelming.

The theThe common butterfly needles are 1/2 to 3/4 inches long and come in a range of gauges, with 21 and 23 gauge the most frequently used

Used to

Used to

Used to

Used to

It’s okay, it’s okay.

Is anyone with you right now?

Is Adya in the house?

[Hi, puppy! I saw a sale at the store

And I took Sunrise shopping with me.

We’ll be back for dinner, ok?]

I’m coming over

No no ddon’t

At this rate you’ll either short yourself out or the entire LH power grid

I know you’re freaked out right now but this is something we can and will deal with

I’msorry i’m sorry i’m

sorry i

You’re gonna be fine

But i need to come over and make sure you get out of this alright

Help

I’m outside.

Can I come in?

please

* * *


	41. And What Comes After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Recovery is not linear.

* * *

_ Waking up _ would imply he’d ever fallen asleep. 

Falling into the broadcast had not been a sleep. It had been a forced waking- a waking of datastreams and forgotten memories and the horrid endless rabbit hole of  _ everything _ . Tossed against the rapids without the reprieve of unconsciousness, sickeningly aware of every moment of it.

So Connor does not wake up. He simply stops drowning long enough for the rest of the universe to start existing again.

The universe is the lights on the ceiling of Caercagna. 

It’s the sun daring through the window on his door. It’s the bread machine Adya brought with her, rattling away somewhere in the kitchen. Papers idly rustling against the fridge. Wolf’s head, rested heavy over his gem.

It’s the sturdy arm propped against the back of the couch so Az’s soft face can rest on his knuckles. It’s freckles on his other hand running through Connor’s scattered hair- and Connor dimly realizes, past the gentleness his vision is being rocked with, his head is rested on Az’s lap.

His claws flex wearily as his hands knead into Wolf’s fur, and he’s too fucking  _ tired _ to stop himself from leaning limply into the soft touch on his face, the steady diamondsong brushing on his mind like a weighted blanket.

“Where’s the Pearls?” he hears himself ask.

“Still at school,” Az softly whispers.

“ _ Oh, thank fuck. _ ” Connor’s head falls weakly with relief. “They shouldn’ be seein’ me like this.”

“How ya feelin’?”

“Tired.”

Az’s short answered laugh speaks of too much experience. “Yeah, I thought so. Broadcasting isn’t exactly fun.”

“Little Homeworld better not have been tanking my freakout.”

“I had Peridot jam the transmission. No one saw anything.”

“Okay.” Connor lets out a short, shaking sigh. “Okay.”

“Hey,” Az soothes, “it’s alright.”

“It’s  _ not _ .” Connor feels his fangs flex harsh in his mouth. “Everyone’s saying I’m better, but I’m  _ not _ ,” his song breaks. “I keep thinking I’m  _ okay _ and then shit like this happens and I…”

“...got a late start,” Az smoothly inserts. “You were badly hurt and you got a late start. Some bugs are expected, y’know.”

“I guess I… I guess you’re right.” 

Connor doesn’t really leave his spot, at least for a while, and Az doesn’t really push Connor off him. 

“You wanna stay for dinner?” Connor starts up again. “I feel like I kinda stole you from yours.”

“Dad’s out and Loki’s supposed to be watching Vairam tonight, so I guess I’m free.”

“Hmm.”

* * *

**Adya Gaming When**

connie

connie look

[A picture of Az and Connor asleep on the couch.

Az is still holding Connor's head in his lap.]

that's fucking adorable

also we're eating toasted sandwiches for dinner go die in your ramen haha

HOW DARE

* * *


	42. And It Was Like Staring Into A Broken Mirror

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Other couples probably have more romantic pillow talk.

* * *

Connor would like to go on record and say that he’s probably what humans would call  _ a light sleeper _ , if that’s the word. He wakes easy. He doesn’t know if it’s a Gem thing, a Steven thing Az would know about, or if he’s just extra bent like that- he should get around to asking sometime.

He falls asleep pretty fast, if he commits, but it’s a bit touch and go.  _ Staying _ asleep is half the battle, especially trying to get those human eight hours that he doesn’t really even need anymore on a good day.

It’s easy to fall asleep for Adya. 

It doesn’t really make much sense, he knows. She’s small, and soft, he’s just way, way  _ bigger _ than her. Objectively, if someone barged into the room right now, she’d probably be pretty terrible at fending it off, at least compared to what he could do. But he feels… safe, somehow. Safe enough to lose himself, if only for a moment.

(It’s so easy to just  _ stop thinking _ for her, to unravel his entire strand of song if she knew to ask, that if he thought about it longer he’d probably be terrified.)

So it takes a bit longer than it should to realize the tremor in his arms isn’t coming from  _ him _ .

=<>=

Adya was a psychology major once. Didn’t go through with it when her little song video hobby started being less of a hobby and more of an  _ actual paying job _ . Even still, she’d been on the path and taken those classes. She’ll never be a licensed therapist (God forbid) but she knows  _ at least a little _ of what she’s talking about.

Dreams are funny things. Sleep in general is one of those weird Mysteries™ of psychology. People can do strange things in their sleep and never remember or think it was odd until they woke up.

One of Connor’s arms is snaked around her and his naturally stern face is painted with a strange sort of concern, gently asking why she was crying.

She frowns, bringing a hand to her face, and wipes away hot tracks of tears that she swears weren’t there a second ago.  _ Huh. _ “I don’t-” her breath skips (like some kind of needy, petulant child). “-I don’t know  _ why _ I’m…”

She never finishes the thought, but Connor hums in response like she had anyway, shifting his arms and loosening his grip. Adya doesn’t take the out, dimly registering the surprised chirp in Connor’s chest when she only burrows into him more, wrapping her own arms around him.

“What’s wrong,  _ my _ ?” Connor’s song warps with a sleepy, low tone.

“I don’t want to put you through it,” she whispers. “I know you’ve got a lot of things going on. My, ah, baggage, if that’s the right word?”

“Mm.”

“Not your baggage. Doesn’t need to be your problem.”

“It’s  _ not _ . You’re right.” He rests his chin on top of her head. “But I can still listen anyway, can’t I?”

“You stop that,” she mumbles into his clothes. “I’m trying to be miserable and you’re just-”

“ _ Yes? _ ” he lightly smiles.

“ _ Eeeeeeh _ .” She slaps uselessly at his back. “I can’t be sad when you do all that.”

Connor just trills under his breath, softly knocking his head into her.

“You see?” Adya grumbles. “You just killed my sadness all over again. I can’t get anything done with you.”

“That’s the idea.”

“Criminal,” she hisses without any bite.

“You’re dodging the question,” he whispers soberly. “What’s wrong, Adya?”

“Mmm.”

“ **_Adya._ ** ” The basal end of Thorn’s song creeps into Connor’s words and she has to stamp down the climbing chill that always follows it.

“ _ Mmmmmm. _ ”

The hand on her back kneads at her with a different weight than usual. “ _ If you want us to drop it, we can _ ,” Con reassures, softer than Thorn’s insistence. “ _ But you know we can’t bear to see you look so sad. _ ”

“I just…” Adya hesitates. “...I don’t know if you’d get it. I don’t really know how Gems think about this kind of stuff.”

“Let me try?” Connor asks anyway. “I  _ want _ to get it. Especially if it’ll help.”

“Sometimes I just want to go home,” she guiltily whispers.

Connor freezes, just a bit. “Do you… not want to stay?” his song wavers, creaking with rust.

“No,  _ no _ , it’s not that. I  _ want _ to be here.” Her hands travel up to his face. “I want to be with  _ you _ , but I miss them sometimes. I miss my  _ appa _ . I miss my brothers. I haven’t seen them, not since I… left. I never came back.”

He nods, relaxing at her touch and closing his eyes briefly. “That’s understandable,  _ my _ ; It’s been months since you left, hasn’t it? Have you not talked to them since?  _ Can _ you?”

“I  _ did _ talk to them,” she insists. “At first. But after  _ Patti _ , I just… stopped calling as much as I used to. The rest of them did, too. I think they don’t know what to do with me anymore.” She knocks her head into his shoulder. “Maybe if we sat down for real and just  _ talked _ , things would be okay, but I don’t know if I can really visit.”

“Wolf and I could have taken you if you wanted,” he points out. “We still could. None of that expensive travel nonsense.” Connor’s claws lightly knead at her again. “You wouldn’t have to worry about  _ her _ making sure you can’t leave, either.”

“It’s not- it’s not about if it’s  _ possible _ for me to go. I  _ know _ I could, I just-  _ I don’t know if I can  _ _ be _ _ around them right now. _ ”

Connor’s eyes flick down to her with a silent sort of pause.

“They’re barely a warp away,” she sounds. “And I could see them any day I wanted, but every time I think about it I get scared. I used to  _ care about them!  _ I still do, I think. But now I can’t really remember that without remembering… everything else. Like why I’m  _ not _ there. And… maybe other things, too. Things I didn’t really think about until I left.” 

Connor hums.

“It’s complicated. Human family stuff. Like I said, I’m not sure if you’d get it.”

“No,” Connor whispers, a distant look on his face. “No, I think I do.”

“Even if I  _ did _ go back,” Adya resignedly mutters, “I don’t think I’d be the person they miss so much. And maybe they wouldn’t be the people I miss, either.”

“You got too big for the box you were raised in.” Connor concludes, stroking her hair. “And now that you left, you don’t want to go back to it. That’s why your  _ Patti _ took it all away from you, wasn’t it?” he recalls. “She wanted to put you back in your box.”

“I think the part that really scares me,” Adya realizes, “is maybe I could. Like if I went back it would be like everything that happened to me outside never mattered.”

“Does it matter to you?” He tilts his head on his pillow, brow raised in question. “What you have here, now?”

Just this once, she’s grateful her hugs will never be too harsh for him. “It means the world.”

“Then maybe as long as that matters, no one can take it away from you. Not if you don’t want to.” He looks off to the ceiling. “At least, that’s what I think.”

“I guess you’re right.”

“Then  _ I guess _ ,” he parrots right back, “it really just depends on what you want. Maybe the, uh,” he scrunches up his face, “the  _ nice _ thing to do is to try and sort that out, give y’all some closure.” 

Connor lets the thought lie for a bit in silence. His resting frown slips right back on his face with a blank sternness. 

“Bein’ honest?” He continues. “I kind of don’t give a fuck about their feelings.”

“ _ Oh my god _ ,” Adya weakly punches into his chest with a wheezing laugh, “you can’t just say that about my family.”

“I mean it’s  _ true _ ,” Connor insists, smiling all the same. “I don’t know them, and besides, I’m not nice enough to do that. If you wanna just fuck off forever and never see them again, I could make it happen.” His song trails softer. “But is that what _ you _ want?”

_ What you want. _

It’s not an accusation, nor a confrontation. The question simply falls out of his song as easy as breathing, settling in her mind like an inescapably weighted blanket- steady and present and impossible to ignore.

_ I want… _ “...I want to see them again,” she slowly articulates. “At least just one last time, to see where everything stands. But thinking about how outnumbered I might be kind of makes me want to puke.”

“So why not make it on your terms?” He asks. “You could easily make it a little less outnumbered! Whether you limit the number of people that know, or see them one at a time- or, y’know.” He casually props his head up in his free hand. “Just take someone with you.”

A silence.

“Is this you trying to meet  _ patti _ ?”

“You can’t prove anything and I have diplomatic immunity,” he cheerfully disputes.

_ “So that’s a yes. _ ”

“Might’ve been.”

“I’m sure Az would love to hear about you trying to pull Diamond on his colony,” Adya drily smiles. “I could just text him right now, I’m sure he’d be thrilled.”

“Now where would be the fun in  _ that? _ ” Connor pouts, putting on his best Wolf impression. Puppy eyes and everything. It doesn’t help that his eyes are  _ already _ so dark and puppy in the first place.

(Oh no. It might actually work.)

“You stop that,” she gently pushes at his face before her will actually crumbles before it. “You meet my family and you  _ behave. _ Az absolutely spoiled them with how nice he is, don’t make them think you’re some kind of  _ kurravali _ coming for their kneecaps.” 

“Fine, I’ll leave the knees.” He smiles. “Any other appendages that are off limits, or are the rest fair game?”

“When are you even going to have time to steal their bones?” she giggles. “You’re already so busy anyway.”

_ “ _ _ There’s always time for crime, I’ll put it in the schedule-”  _

She smothers his loudly silenced chuff in her hands. “Seriously. It’s very sweet, but when are you going to have time for this? I don’t know how long this might take to sort out, you know.”

“We could stop by after Thor’s wedding,” he easily replies. “I was, uh-” his fangs flex uncertainly, “-kind of planning a trip for us on the way back anyway? So it wouldn’t be hard to fit it in, really.”

Adya hums. “Fair enough. But if you’re going to get me to visit my problem people, I want you to try and deal with yours.”

Connor doesn’t pull away from her, but it’s a close call. “W-what do you mean?”

“I did not need to explain why my problem is a problem. You understood it as soon as I said.” Adya smiles sadly. “You are like me, puppy. Someone hurts, but you miss them.”

He doesn’t speak for a while, long enough that she starts to wonder if he ever will. Finally, after a few minutes that felt like much longer in the dark silence, he piped back up.

“She’s dead,” he starts. “But the others aren’t. It must have been-” A haunted thought crosses over his eyes. “It’s been ten years now. A whole decade. Huh.”

“Did they hurt you?” she gently asks.

“I still don’t really know. But like you said,” a flat song grimly answers, “some things you can’t see until after you leave. And sometimes thinking about being there just makes you remember why you aren’t.” He ducks his head back down to the bed, blankly watching the curve of his own claws. “Az said I could have as much time as I needed, but I still…”

He trails off, and somehow, it speaks more clearly than words.

“...You promise to be there if I try. Even though you don’t know everything. So… even if I don’t know everything about you, or them,” Adya takes his hand. “I could be there if you try, too. If you wanted.”

Connor clasps her hand in turn, swallowing. “I think… I’d like that.”

“Look at us. We’re being real adults now.” With that profound note, she falls back on top of him, stubbornly clinging onto him like some sort of sleep deprived koala. “Now it’s like 1 in the morning. I don’t want to wake up again until 10.”

“I’m gonna wake you up at 9:59,” Connor insists as he snakes around her.

She sighs, rolling her eyes and burrowing further into his shirt. “Of course you will, puppy.”

* * *


	43. Pearlskidan and Chromelad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talking about Gem clothes.

* * *

“I hope you’ve been doing alright,” Az brings up as he sets their tea down. “I know humans don’t usually live in such big groups like we do.”

“I mean,” Adya tilts her head, “it’s not too bad. I lived with my _appa_ and three brothers growing up, I’m kind of used to a full house.”

“Yes, but I doubt y’all average the numbers we do. Seriously, five gems is a _small_ house for us. And I know there’s been all those new Gems Connor’s taken on lately. I can get if it’s alot, y’know?”

“I guess it sort of is.” She sips at her drink. Like most drinks Az had at his house, even the tea was sweet, but not cloyingly so. It tastes like honey and apples in a nice sort of way. “But at least all the Pearls have their school things, and Connor’s been working on setting them up with houses on Mars when that’s ready. I think maybe Dozzina’s the only one planning to stay with us for good.”

“His Jasper and Sapphire probably will as well,” Az points out.

“I kind of guessed. You keep a pretty full house, too, it looks like.” Adya pointedly glances at the one other person with them in the main room.

“Oh, I don’t really live here.” Lars flippantly clicks from the other end of the couch. “I just kind of crash with Steven when I’m around. Adya, right? We’ve met.”

Lars Althea is an angular, barrel-chested, knobbly handed twig of a man. He’s about her height, nestled in slim pants and turtlenecks like he needs a second layer of skin to make up for his lack of bulk, a literal lion’s mane of hair lazily tied behind his head. He _looks_ familiar- she might have seen him a few times in passing. It’s hard to tell sometimes, with Gems and their adjacent. But he’s right- they’ve _definitely_ met. (The raking seam slicing through his right eye is pretty unforgettable.)

“The wedding, right?” she guesses.

“Yeah, that’s the bitch.” There’s something lazy and lopsided in his voice, and she can see the point of fangs in his mouth, right under the scar on his face. “I’m not really on-planet much, you’re not forgetting anything.”

“Lars heads the Empire’s trade fleet,” Az cuts back in. “But he does field work for me sometimes, too.”

“Hell, I’m on the clock right now, kinda.” Lars kicks up his feet on the coffee table, eying the actual clock on the far wall. “I’m part of that wedding stuff that’s coming up? New king, gotta iron out those trade deals right outta the gate. Fun shit like that.” He raises his brows at her. “I saw you filed on Connor’s entourage, so you’re coming too, right?”

_Connor._ Not Sunrose. And earlier he’d called Az _Steven_ . He’s either a really good family friend or part of the family itself, which is at least a _little_ weird coming from a guy who looks halfway to a space pirate. And now Adya’s wondering if Connor’s got like three other siblings waiting to drop from the sky. (It _would_ explain the pink.)

But enough of that. She’s probably supposed to say actual words in response at some point to his question.

“Yeah. I guess I’m like… his _date?_ ” Adya squeaks out.

“ _And_ his wife. It’s pretty customary to accompany your spouse to such events,” Az smiles, leaning in his seat.

“He went and got a wife while I wasn’t looking?” Lars reaches over to lightly box Az’s head. “You gotta _catch me up_ on that shit, my guy, you know I can’t keep up with all this Earth gossip.”

“Alright, alright. _I swear_ ,” Az laughingly insists. He turns back to Adya. “But yes! Weddings. _Royal_ weddings.”

“Very articulate,” Lars scoffs.

“ _Hush up_. Weddings.” Az claps his hands together, claws clicking. “How are you on clothes?”

“Well-” Adya hesitates. “I _have_ clothes. I packed enough stuff to come to this country that I didn’t need too many things. I was prepared for school and campus wear; How was I to know that I would be at royal weddings and need gowns?”

“Hmm. Fair enough, we’ll need to get you clothes for this.”

“I’m not really sure I have _royal wedding_ kind of money.”

“I don’t see what money has to do with this,” Az answers blankly. “We’ll just swing you by a tailor shop and have something spun for you.”

_Spun?_ “Wait, Gems _have_ tailors?” Adya asks. “Don’t you just usually-” she waggles her hands vaguely.

Lars snorts. “Not all of us are _Gems_ , y’know, and even the ones that are still like their fashion."

“Some Gems can’t shift out of their form clothes, others want colors outside of their natural spectrum. Stuff like safety clothes can’t be part of the body, too.” Az squints. “I’m kind of in the first category with that? I can shift around the clothes I get but I can’t really magic it from scratch.”

"I did not realize there was so much behind your clothing habits," Adya admits, sipping her tea, "But then again, there's a lot that I don't know.” She frowns. “Wait, if some of your clothes are real, how do Gems shapeshift with that? How do you make them? Are there certain Gem styles?"

“Oh my god, Connor married another nerd,” Lars deadpans. "It's genetic, we have to warn Connie- _oh god. It’s too late, you’ve got that look on your face already._ "

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Az smiles, like he’d been waiting a literal thousand years for Adya to ask that exact question. “I just think it’s great for someone to be so enthusiastic about Gem mechanics.”

“You should run while you still have the chance,” Lars jokes to Adya. “Maybe it’s contagious.”

"I'm sure you have nothing to worry about, you're immune by now." Az says, the point flying over his head. “Back to the question- Gem tailoring! I have to ask you a little question though, Adya.” He leans forward, tea snugly in his hands. “What do you think our buildings are made of? Our ships? Our tech?”

_Is this a trick question?_ "Uh… don't you take minerals from the soil and give that to Bismuths, who smelt it into different materials?"

“Sunstones usually do the smelting, actually. Our Bismuth is a special case.” Az sips at his cup. “And you’re half right. We do use the alloys of proper metals and such, but there’s actually a far more _universal_ material that goes into pretty much everything. You know how ichor works, right?

“Isn’t that a liquid thing, though?” Adya brings up. “They talked about its properties while we were in the lapidary on Mars.”

“Ichor can be processed into a lot of different stuff,” Lars elaborates. “There’s liquid stuff like the ambrosia blends but when you pass ichor through concentrated light you get this weird… crystally, fabricy bullshit.”

“Chroma,” Az corrects.

“Yeah, that’s what I said.”

“Chroma is a solid that can be rendered in a lot of different forms,” Az goes on. “It can be smelted or fortified by other materials to build things, or it can be spun down into textiles. You can basically get any color you can think of out of it, it’s pretty wild.”

“So it’s like…” Adya squints, “... _spiders._ ”

“More like bees, really.”

_“Gems are spider cats.”_ Adya looks down into her half-empty cup. “That’s so weird. _That is so weird_."

“I know,” Lars stage-whispers back to her. “You think you’re gonna get used to it _but you’re not_.”

“Well _that’s_ not true,” Az insists. “Give it a few years and this will probably all be horrifyingly normal, so at least you can look forward to that!”

Adya hums neutrally at the thought of her impending journey to insanity. “At least things will stay interesting.” She adjusts her glasses. “I guess I know how Gem fabric works now. But I’m still not really sure what to do for the tailor thing? I’ve never gotten a tailor even for my human clothes. Besides, all my fancy clothes are at home... so I’ve… never really had a reason to,” she finishes lamely, taking a long sip from her tea.

“Oh yeah, that’s easy!” Az lightly tents his hand on the table. “So you’re gonna get a personal stylist-”

“What’s their name?” Lars randomly interjects all too innocently.

“I don’t know, we haven’t decided who we're taking her to yet-”

“What’s their name?” Lars repeats.

“... Dan...ite.” Az slowly improvizes, clearly not knowing where this is going.

“You wanna try that again?” Lars smirks.

“......... Chromelad.”

Lars puts his hand on Az’s shoulder. “Take it- take it again.”

Az, very confused, ponders for a moment. “Pearlski-”

“Yeah that’s better-”

“- _dan_ ,” Az finishes. “Pearlskidan.”

“A’ight.” Lars pats his back. “Bye then,” he says as he goes out the door.

A silence.

“So what was that about?” Adya asks.

“I have no idea,” Az honestly answers. “Anyway, so you’re gonna get a personal stylist-”

“ _HELLO, I’M PEARLSKIDAN!_ ” Lars shouts as he barges through the door. In the five seconds since he’s been gone, he’s somehow acquired a straw fedora and sunglasses. 

“ _Oh my god, why_ ,” Adya wheezes.

“WHAT KIND OF DRESSES DO YOU LIKE!”

“So usually tailors tend to be Pearls or Pebbles,” Az goes on like this is a completely normal occurrence, “but there might be Bixbites, too. They-"

"HEY _CHROMELAD_ ,” ‘Pearlskidan’ shouts, “WHAT KINDA DRESSES SHOULD WE BRING OUT?”

Morion pops out from the rafters. “Biggie!”

'Pearlskidan’s fedora flies off his head from his vigorous nodding. “Thank you, CHROMELAD, you’re an absolute darling!”

Adya puts her tea on the table to prevent it from spilling as she dissolves into laughter on the couch. Morion’s head disappears again into the shadows.

“So, uh-” Az’s composure breaks for a second with brief snicker, “-they’ll take some measurements, ask you what size everything is,” he points up and down at himself, “all over-”

“AND- AND THE GEM?” ‘Pearlskidan’ leans jauntily against the table with a wide, sharp smile, sunglasses shining. Adya shrieks and clutches her sides.

Az wheezes as he knocks his head on the coffee table. “I don’t know,” he finally plays along, “probably the biggest size you can think of.”

“Wow, _Chromelad_ ,” ‘Pearlskidan’ cranes his head up at Morion’s hidden perch, “you’ll _never_ believe what he said about the gem.”

There’s the slightest little gasp before the ball of energy comes sailing down from the ceiling, rolling to his feet. “What’d he say??”

“He said it was the biggest size you can think of. Can you believe it? How big is the biggest size you can think of?"

“Um…” Morion frowns with profound thought. “...a watermelon?”

“Oh stars, he’s not even wrong,” Az wheezes. “Like- one of the small ones, but _he’s not even wrong_.”

The little boy puffs up and puts his hands on his hips, apparently very proud of his deduction.

Adya squints skeptically at Az's belly. “There’s no way your gem is that big.”

“It’s like-” Az slowly stops laughing as he finds words again. “My gem’s kinda rotated? Like, the inside shape and the outside shape isn’t the same. It takes up a pretty decent chunk of my insides.”

“Huh.” Adya pauses, thinking for a moment. “... Does it feel pointy?”

“I mean- it _is_ pointy. But it’s supposed to be there, so it just kinda fits. You don’t feel all the pointy bone things in _your_ body.”

“Organs go _squoosh.”_ She mimes with her hands, giggling.

_"Squoosh!”_ Mori chimes in, poking Az’s belly. How did he get there? Nobody knows.

“Thanks for the input, Chromelad,” Az laughs as he softly pushes Morion away from his belly. “Is _Pearlskidan_ gonna have anything to add to this or nah?”

“It’s cool, I’m done.” Lars stows his fedora and sunglasses away _into his hair_ , smoothly sitting back down.

“Alright then. So anyways,” Az circles back like the interruption never happened, “they make all the clothes from scratch, but they’ll give you fabrics to pick from and walk you through some designs…”

* * *

  
**HELLO I’M PEARLSKIDAN**

HELLO I’M PEARLSKIDAN

YOU

ME

Why do have my number???

Steven just went “here’s adya’s phone number”

Assigned Phone Contacts By Diamond

Oof

I have to ask though

Whaddup

Why???

Why did you do that???

It was really funny but Why Did You Pearlskidan

Because I Can

Fair

Also because you kind of seemed depressed

When we were talking about your old stuff

Felt like bad vibes

Oh  
Well  
Thanks for the cheer  
I did not realize my vibes

Yeah

I don’t really know you that well

but you seem pretty okay?

So there’s no reason not to look out for eachother

a bit, i guess

Also i’m 99% sure steven Specifically

Wants Us To Get Along

Well I don’t think that’s going to be problem

Haha yeah i think trashy tv just made him

paranoid about how horribly in-laws get along

Ah

Wait

Wait what do you mean in-laws

What just happened

HAH

And i oop

Come Back Here, What Does That Mean

How Are We In-Laws, Sir

Oh no,,,

I feel a space mission calling me,,,

I must away,,,  
  


WHAT IS THE TRUTH

* * *

  
**American Made**

Connie

Dearie lovely american cousin connie

Oh no

Who is lars

Oop  
  
  


Not you too

Well fuck

No Escape

Give Me Answer

Fuckin uuuuuuuh

GIB

He’s like,,,

Our boyfriend

He what now

he’s Kind Of steven’s boyfriend?

But also my bf sometimes???

Don’t quote me on that,

I don’t know how polyamory works

Well at least the in-law

comment makes sense now

Do i have any other in-laws i need to know about

I mean give it a few decades and maybe

Jasper will actually own up

Oh well at least that makes sense

Sunrise’s talked about her lessons before

She seems very devoted to him

Ha y e a h

They aren’t making out in the woods or anything

But they’re pretty much soulmates of lovingly punching

eachother in the face

Why are our lives so weird

It be like that sometimes

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chroma is a canon material from the attack/save/unleash the light games that lets the player mod their weapons and is "made of light". george the prism will generate items like clothing if you feed him chroma.
> 
> (can you tell we listen to mbmbam)


	44. The Hypothetical Stevenpocalypse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor doesn't know what to wear to weddings.

* * *

**Son (boy)**

[A picture of Connor wearing his older

Soldier’s uniform.]

What like this

Connor, that’s military clothes, not wedding clothes.

Ok but hear me out

What if i put armor over it

That’s not better???

But it’s fancier???

Connor I think you’re missing the point here.

You don’t need armor at this wedding.

Some Asgardian official might take actual offense to it, besides.

Good

Connor, this is a diplomatic function.

It’s just not a good look to show up dressed for war!

(bismuth wore armor to garnet’s wedding)

We were in fact in the middle of a war during that time.

And it was the nicest thing she owned.

Mmmmmmmmm

Connor, if you don’t have clothes we can just get some for you.

BUT HAVE YOU CONSIDERED

My steel toed boots  
  


Do they look presentable?

They look like fancy boots they can just

also kill a man

I can live with this.

Wait does this mean i can pick out new clothes

Yes, that is what getting you clothes entails.

Can i have a coat

Like one of those long coats

I just think that would be cool

  
  


Within reason?

I don’t see why not.

Though you do have a cloak already, just pointing that out.

Yes but it’s not a coat

Fair point.

....I’m realizing I guess I never taught you about clothes shifting.

WHAT

YOU CAN SHAPESHIFT CLOTHES

Yes?? Within reason??? At least with chroma clothes.

I can just show you how to turn your cloak into a coat.

ARE THERE ANY OTHER SECRETS

BEING KEPT FROM ME

None that can be recalled at the moment!

Can we make pockets

We can make pockets.

Neat

While we’re being nice and honest about things

…

What do i do with the iron man suit i may or may not possess

That may or may not be sitting somewhere in my house

Hypothetically

You do realize Tony puts trackers in those?

Then Hypothetically I Would Presumably

Put It Back Immediately Since This Is Something

I Only Hypothetically Did

Uh-huh.

That would be best, yes, Hypothetically.

Cool cool

Because I Totally Didn’t

Hmm.

I swear

In other news, speaking of things I didn’t tell you.

Did I ever tell you about your brother?

I have met casimir

Oh, I see! So I didn’t tell you about George!

Dad how much family do I have 

you keep pulling them out like rabbits in a hat

Fucking infinite child generator

If we’re going to limit to beings that are my children specifically,

there’s actually three different evolutionary lines that I created by accident.

This is why we need to be careful about food.

Greg would be so proud

Wait food

What food did you bring back

Have you ever seen the files for those colonies I have?

Those two guys that have hedgewicks and melonsprites?

WHAT THE F U C K

I THOUGHT THOSE WERE JUST 

WEIRD NOT-GEMS LIKE CORALS

Haha!

No

In my defense, they were all accidents!

I don’t know how to tell you this

But really that just makes it worse 

But stop avoiding george

Who the fuck is george

Did you steal another baby while

I wasn’t looking

Are these baby-snatching fairies really just you

I do not steal babies, that is my least favorite thing to do.

(morion)

That was an outlier, the baby ate my blood and now it is mine.

Uh huh sure

NOW WHO IS GEORGE  
  


There’s George and his sisters, I believe they’re Jeanne and Justina?

Actually if we’re going by age, they’re my oldest ones.

. . . .

Dad are you telling me that

the Starlight Knights are my siblings

Oh, is that what people are calling the Prisms these days?

How do you always do this

Why are you like this

In my defense, I have like 67 trillion kids, okay?

It’s Hard To Keep Track Of Who Does And Doesn’t Know Each Other

Dad how many of your kids are CELEBRITIES

I mean I guess I’ve heard about George once or twice 

on the wailing stones?

Mr. Your Radiance Asteria Diamond Sir,

WHY DID YOU NEVER TELL ME

THAT MY RADIO FANCRUSH

WAS MY BROTHER AND SISTERS???

I just did!

  
  


Stars above

Literal diamond here,

and i have siblings more famous than me

The shame is unbearable

Granted, they’ve had a bit of an eight year headstart on you.

But now that I’m thinking about it, I should probably call them.

I’m sure they’d be delighted to meet you.

Oh please don’t i would die

Please i’m not cool enough to be around them

George is a chroma crunching otaku,

If coolness was a requirement he wouldn’t be allowed in his own presence.

And he’s cultured too

I Am Unworthy

Hah, we should have a picture with them sometime.

Last I checked they actually looked alot like Stevens,

The line up would be pretty funny.

Whack

If it’s any consolation,

they’re around my height,

so at least you’ll be taller than them.

Oh? :)

Worry not,

Casimir still wins the award for

Most Steven Steven,

Because he’s the tallest and has five

Steven heads.  
  
  


Darn

Also, have to ask, did you mean for all

your accident children to have your face

Or did it Just Happen

I think that’s just the natural consequences of being a single mom

I

Uh

Hm.

Is that how humans work is this a human thing

As far as I know, no!

This is just a Diamond thing.

Can you imagine if White had made a Casmir-

Thanks! I hate it!

Wait does this mean my kids will have our face too

DO WE INFECT THE MASSES

Mercy, no!

Not unless you go the weird single mom route,

like I did several accidental times while being careless with food

as a child.

At least I wasn’t eating Fred

Oh god what if he looks like us under the shell

What have I done

Well I know what’s going to be haunting MY dreams tonight!

If his whiskers start curling like our hair we’ll know

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (reminder that the light series is canon to FADIAMT)


	45. But The Inventory! The Precious, Precious, Inventory!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dustin- a name derived from Torsten. "Thor stone."

* * *

“...which would mean we _should_ be covered for fruits, but what about the inventory on the meats?” a young man mutters under his breath, scribbling fiercely on his pad of paper. “I need the butcher, we need to go over the hunt that’s been brought in- do we need to bring in more boar from the farms?”

Someone claps on his shoulder. “Dustin-”

“GOOD GODS, MAN!” Dustin Oleson startles, papers nearly sent flying. “What in the realms are you doing, startling me like that?”

“Well don’t blame me for how you disappear into your own head,” the Prince smiles. (Well, Allfather now. Almost. Maybe. Dustin doesn’t know how to file it at the moment- A problem for later.)

“Yes, disappearing in the paperwork for _your_ wedding.” Dustin chuffs, grinning all the same. “ _And_ the coronation immediately after. Blessed be the Allfather for scheduling two royal events to fall under the same week and not even leaving _his own_ steward on the job.”

“It’s a promotion! However unwanted it may be.” Thor sighs, shaking his head. “I honestly doubt that Father even thought about it. He’s been planning retirement since I was born.”

“So has _mine_ ,” Dustin snarks. “I can almost imagine the joy on his face when he finally had a son to pass on his old paperwork to.”

That is simply how it is in royal houses- lines of succession are not limited to kings. Even the servants are a class of their own, proudly tending to their masters for generations, allowing new heads of house to fall in with a new generation of workers. 

Just as Thor falls from Odin, Dustin falls from Ole, and their children after them. It is tradition for a steward and his liege to grow together, and oft they are born near one another. _From the cradle to the table_ , as the saying goes.

“Now if you’re here to gossip and chatter,” Dustin half scolds with a wave of his hand, “shoo off to the kitchens. Half the scullery maids are far too enamored with you anyway, they’d listen to you prattle on for hours. I’m swamped in inventory.”

“This is the third time you’ve done inventory since you’ve started on this whole event, you could stand to think of something other than-” Thor squints at Dustin’s handwriting, “- _apple jams_ before you lose your mind.”

“Would that it were, I think you’re a mite too late for that,” the young steward groans dryly, scratching his neck. “There’s still three meat platters I need to account for and at _least_ fifteen more desserts to accommodate all the guests. Those jams are in high demand.”

“ _Speaking_ of our guests,” Thor transitions, “do we have a tally on who’s arrived? I know most of the wedding attendees are already here, but what of the coronation guests?”

Dustin purses his lips, flipping back through his book. “Well, the Norns have their _customary invitation_ -”

Thor scoffs and rolls his eyes. The Norns rarely bother to show up in person for anything, but it’s _tradition_ to send an invitation to important events, regardless. “I suppose they’ll be sending along another priestess to act in their stead.”

“The Jotunn delegation had accepted their invitation fairly early, so they’re down on the books. They arrived earlier this week, I believe. The Alfeneel party also accepted, but noted they’d be arriving the day of-”

“That makes sense, they prefer not to linger outside their homeworld.”

“We’re still waiting on the Vanir to show up, but we expect them to cut it close at this point- they rarely leave their fields, after all- and the Dwarves-”

“Dvergr,” Thor softly corrects.

“-Yes, sorry, the Dvergr- old habits and whatnot. They arrived two days ago. Though,” Dustin eyes the prince, grinning knowingly, “I’m sure you already knew that, with all the ruckus in our taverns these nights.”

“I’m sure our local businesses are _delighted_ to have such giant stomachs to fill,” Thor grins back.

“The elves arrived last night. _All_ of their clan heads, actually, that’s a rather unusual spectacle. Even the _Spice Elf_ clan is here- that hasn’t happened since before Bor’s time. I suppose they’re vying for new trade deals. And-” Dustin looks down the list with a slight sigh. “-I know that you’re trying to be… _inclusive_ , as it were, but _Kronans?_ Ria isn’t even part of the Nine Realms!”

“I know, but,” Thor rocks slightly on his feet, “they sort of _are_. The extent to which they rely on our laws and protection makes them functionally another realm under our control. It would be unfair to keep leaving them out of the proceedings as if they aren’t part of the empire.”

Dustin raises a brow at that, but shrugs and lets it drop. “They’re set to arrive tomorrow, with their royal family. And, lastly, the Trolls. Now, I _did not_ let the Rock Trolls be invited, for obvious reasons- the Dvergr would have an absolute fit- but the Mountain Trolls did accept, surprisingly. They arrived shortly after the elves did.”

Thor rubs his brow, checking through his mental list. “That’s… almost everyone. How about Sunrose, have they sent word yet?” 

_The Diamond Authority._ Certainly a new guest to any form of Asgardian event ( _a_ _ny event, really_ ), an endless well of unknowns. “I got a hold of their ambassador that’s been stationed here, they _are_ arriving. I’m just not sure _when_ -”

Some rude einherjar decides that’s the perfect moment to barge through the doors. “Your Majesty!” he barks. “An unknown ship is approaching the world border!”

Thor’s head turns so fast it’s surprising he didn’t get whiplash. “How large? Are there any signs of hostility as of yet?”

_Oh, it better fucking not_ , Dustin internally pleads to the Norns. _Please, the paperwork. I don’t want to die before at least getting an actual promotion._

It’s quick (and awkward) work for the three of them to shuffle on down to the nearest window that hasn’t already been taken up by a curious passerby. They end up sharing an opening with one of the maids just in time to see it happen.

_What the Hel is that??_

The sky warps with all the respect of an unbaked bread fit to explode in the oven, and from that a ship appears. Well, ‘ship’ hardly applies- it looks like a gargantuan turtle, almost, with an arcing shell shimmering in a fashion uncannily like that of the Bifrost. Before anyone can even process _that_ , two _smaller_ ships are spat out from the beast, and just float there like little lanterns, and like _that wasn’t enough already_ , the damn thing starts splitting at the seams! (It reminds him of a story Thor once heard from a human friend- something about a mechanical being housing five more within it?)

Then the turtle simply ceases to be. Five strange creatures in nacred colors- a pink ray, a red shark, an golden eel, a blue _dolphin_ , and some sort of flaring white salamander thing- swim lazily through the Asgardian sky, vaguely angling toward the palace as though concepts like ‘gravity’ and ‘time’ were mere suggestions.

Dustin is openly agape at the sight, eyes flicking from ship to ship as if trying to glean some hidden meaning from them. “By the Norns…”

Thor, for his part, grins like a madman. “Well friends, I do believe we’ve found our final guests.”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah so the diamond ships can shapeshift y e e t


	46. The Blind Man's King

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two sons of Odin.

* * *

Hodur leans his head on his old ragged cane, a hand fussing at the twine someone else tied on it. “Tell me what the sky looks like today.”

“It’s clearer than normal,” Thor answers. “Hardly a cloud for miles. You can almost see the stars at the world border, melting and mirroring into the sea.”

Hodur turns his head toward Thor’s voice. “That doesn’t sound like you, brother.”

“It’s been many years since Vidar and Vali have been home,” Thor points out. “I wanted clear skies for their return.”

“Have they _been_ away?” Hodur’s loosely tied honey blond hair falls over his shoulder. “I suppose that’s why I haven’t heard them lately. The house was quiet without their visits.”

“I don’t like you being holed up alone in that house by yourself,” Thor frowns. “I know that you… _manage_ on your own, but I worry.”

Hodur lightly scratches at his beard, carefully avoiding the various nicks and lines on his face. “It’s better for me to keep away from the city when I can,” he deflects. “The noise,” he taps his cane on the dock for good measure, “it can get too much sometimes. But… I suppose it does get lonely. Just a little.”

“Maybe you could live in the palace after I'm crowned,” Thor offers. “Somewhere on the estate at least. There’s gardens and orchards you could walk through, and-” His tone brightens. “-and the library! We could have the scribes etch any book you wanted.”

“That _would_ be nice.” Hodur hums, closing his clouded eyes. “I missed the ravens. They were always kind to me.”

“You always say the strangest things,” Thor half laughs.

“ _You_ always find the strangest things funny.”

“And yet you always ask _me_ to tell you the color of the sky,” Thor muses.

“You always painted such lovely pictures with your words,” Hodur smiles. “Sometimes I try to etch them down when I remember.”

“Loki was better,” Thor argues.

“Maybe,” Hodur concedes. “But yours lingered more.”

For a while after that, neither of them speak, but the silence between them is not a sad one.

The bench they sit on is cut out of some large felled log, carved with countless little shapes by the idle hands of bored soldiers and sailors, and Hodur smiles lightly as his hands roam the lines.

This dock is the same as usual in spite of the upcoming royal events- einherjar patrol ships move in and out at their practiced clockwork pace while seabirds whistle out their daily cries.

“I felt hair on Baldur’s face the last time I visited him,” Hodur starts up again. “He’s almost a man now, isn’t he?”

“Nearing twelve-hundred,” Thor somberly notes. “It’s been six centuries since he fell to sleep.”

“Perhaps we should pay a visit later. All of us together. I think he’d like that.”

“He would have,” Thor whispers.

Hodur’s eyes flutter with thought as he shifts himself more in Thor’s direction. “You sound depressed,” he bluntly observes. “You always sound a little sad, but it seems like it’s gotten more and more, lately.”

Out of all Thor’s brothers, he found it easiest to talk to Hodur, after a fashion. Incapable of stares or judging glares, his talks did not generate the same potential anxiety as the others. But his eternally sharp hearing would pick up on even the slightest nuance- no matter how careful Thor was, he would never be able to hide from Hodur long.

“The stress,” Thor dares to concede, “of the coronation, I think. And the past few years have been… rather hectic.”

“Hmm.” With that happy thought, Hodur raps his cane against the bench. “I think I heard cracklings cooking on one of the street stalls. We should go back and get some while we wait.”

“I imagine I’ll be paying,” Thor scoffs.

“But of course,” Hodur drily smiles. “I am so feeble and blind, how could I ever find my meager coin purse?”

“Liar," Thor shoots back, already counting coins, "I’ve seen you shoot a rabbit at twenty paces blind.”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (yeah so the norse myth sons of odin are canon to FADIAMT)


	47. The Prodigal Sons Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The other brothers.

* * *

“LITTLE BROTHER!” Vali shouts from the railings of the incoming ship. “HELLO AGAIN!”

“I’m older than you,” Thor corrects.

“AND YOU’RE STILL SMALLER THAN ME!”

“You don’t have to keep shouting from up there.” Hodur braces on his cane as he cranes his head towards the noise. “Just get off the ship.”

“Hah, alright then!” Vali stands on the railing. “If you say so!”

Thor steps back. “Vali, no-”

But it was too late. Vali promptly stepped right off the ship railings and sailed headfirst into the water. At least he would have, if Thor hadn’t caught him in time.

“That was fun!” he laughs from under his blond hair as Thor pulls him up by his furred collar. “We should do that again!”

“You _know_ aesir can’t swim, Vali,” Thor groans. “Are you _trying_ to freeze yourself?”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Vali blankly asks.

Vidar, far more sensible, actually waited for the boat to land before sprinting down towards them, wheezing with relief as he ambles closer. _Sorry_ , his hands fumble, _couldn’t stop him in time._

“You did your best, brother,” Thor reassures with a soft clap on Vidar’s shoulders.

“Vidar’s here too?” Hodur tilts his head towards Thor’s voice. “Hello again.”

“Yes! We are here!” Vali brightly repeats. “We were out _viking_ in- in…”

_Mus-pel-heim_ , Vidar patiently spells out.

“Right! Muspelheim! We were in Muspelheim with our unit when we got the summons to come back home! They said you was-”

_Were_ , Vidar corrects.

“- _were_ getting married,” Vali goes on. “You never call, you never write for _ages_ , and now I have to hear from a herald you’ve gone and been engaged off?”

“It’s only been five years,” Thor defends. “It’s not my fault everything’s gotten so busy lately.”

Vali keeps up his frown for a full five seconds before his blue eyes collapse back to smiles all over again. “I’m kidding. It’s good to see you again!” He looks around. “Where’s Loki? He's always with you.”

Hodur sucks in a breath and Thor’s eyes dim. 

Vali’s grin falters. “...What’s happened, brother?”

_Is Loki alright?_ Vidar silently asks, grey eyes searching.

“He’s alright,” Thor vaguely concedes. “But he’s… not with us anymore. It’s hard to explain.”

_I’m sorry_ , Vidar’s hands shake. His free hand runs over his black hair. _We shouldn’t have asked._

“It’s alright, brothers, you didn’t know.” Thor’s downcast eyes wearily wander the dock beneath them. “I know Father does not send you news.”

“Oh.” Vali fumbles slightly. “Yes. You’re right.”

Thor tries not to hold it against Vali- despite how aged he looks, the way he towers over Thor, he’s only 500 or so. Younger than Baldur had been before he fell to sleep, and Baldur had been a child then. (They all were.)

Vali had aged to a man in a matter of days after first opening his eyes, but his _mind…_ that had been a different matter. It never quite caught up with the rest of him.

Thor tries to remember that, and to not scold his young brother for poor memory and childishness. He sighs.

Vali, realizing he’s not in trouble, smiles again. “You changed your hair! It’s all red again.”

“EH?” Hodur’s wide cloudy eyes angle back to Thor. “You stopped? You _didn’t_ , there’s no way you did.”

“Yes, I did,” Thor wearily repeats for what he feels like is the hundredth time to every new observer of this apparently world-shattering fact.

Hodur distantly reaches at Thor’s hair, roaming up to his face and beard. “Huh,” he mutters, “so you did stop using those color things, your hair’s all soft now. It used to be sort of brittle.”

“ _Please_ keep going on about how horrid my hair is, we all love to hear it,” Thor drily grumbles.

Vidar shakes his head.

“You look nice!” Vali insists. “I like your hair.”

“It’s all _rusty_ ,” Thor complains.

“It’s nice! Like fire!”

“If you say so,” Thor allows.

Vidar taps out some signage onto Hodur’s hand. “You do?” Hodur asks. “Alright.” He turns to Thor. “He caught eye on our crackling snacks, wants to get some.”

“Cracklings?” Vali parrots. “Where? I haven’t had those in _ages_ , who’s been selling them?”

“Oh dear,” Hodur smiles at Thor, “looks like you’re going to have to treat your little brothers again, Your Majesty.”

“Why do you always make me _pay for everything_ -”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in norse myth vidar was called "silent" while vali was said to have grown to adulthood in a day


	48. The King's Painting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _While little archeological evidence has been found, primary sources from Arabic traders mention both men and women wearing some form of eyeliner/mascara, including warriors- some suspect the Norse practice might have originated in warriors as a form of eye black to reduce glare from the sun._

* * *

“Your Excellency, are you lost?”

It takes insultingly long for Loki to register that this servant is talking to _her_. She even recognizes this one- though Hildur, it seems, does not quite recognize Loki for what she is.

Hildur pauses. “Was that the wrong term?” she hesitantly asks. “I’m not really sure how to address your group properly.” _Your group._

_She thinks I’m one of the jotunn diplomats_ , Loki realizes. “It’s alright,” she deflects, her voice coming out softer than it should. “I…” _already know my way around here._ “-I can find my own way,” she says instead.

“That doesn’t mean you have to,” Hildur insists. “Is there anything I can help you with?”

“...Do you by any chance know where the prince is at the moment?”

=<>=

“Your Majesty,” Hildur curtsies, “one of the jotunn delegation.”

As the servant leaves, Thor fixes his eyes on the new stranger. She is average sized, but only by aesir standard- by those of other ice jotunn she’s almost petite. Small, dark, barefoot as jotunn often are, with familiar green eyes.

“I have to say, Loki,” Thor sounds, “this is a new level of disguise than your usual shapes.”

“Oh no,” Loki corrects, “this isn’t really a _disguise_. It’s more of… an actual change, I think. I may stay like this for a while, I’m not sure.”

_Ah._

When Thor’s worst concern was the next battle, he often… _wandered_ through the towns and taverns while waiting for the next campaign. He would find places only knowable by word of mouth, where people said and acted on the things they wouldn’t (or couldn’t) while sober. And he was no _nithing_ , but he learned many things there, chief of which was this- if someone said they were a certain way, that was how it was, and physical or prior evidence would not disprove it.

So if Loki dresses and acts and speaks as women do, with the intent of being such? Then that is how she is.

“The dress suits you,” Thor says. “Practical. I assume you’ll be making all sorts of mischief in that sort of outfit.” He looks aside. “I’ll be sure to look the other way if I catch you at anything.”

“Not that isn’t kind of you,” Loki just barely smirks, “but that’s not why I came here. I have a gift.” She adjusts her satchel. “The offer of one, at least.”

“Gifts can be saved after the actual wedding, Loki.”

“This is more of a gift _for_ the wedding, really.” Loki fishes through her satchel and takes out these odd flat boxes. When she opens them there’s these colored little circles all over the inside.

“What’s all this?” Thor asks.

“Palettes,” Loki excitedly explains. “For eye paints. While Asgard was stuck on black, those humans figured out ages ago there could have been far more color to it.”

“Fascinating,” Thor whispers. Then his face falls. “But it’s not exactly _traditional_.”

“You’re the first crown change in nearly three thousand years and I’m literally walking around as a woman in public,” Loki flatly points out. “Just this once, _fuck tradition_. Fat lot of good it did us anyways.”

_It might be nice for the both of us to just be ourselves_ , a memory of Sif whispers.

“Alright,” Thor finally allows. “But only if you have enough for Sif to share as well.”

* * *


	49. Stag... Night?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Sword Ceremony**
> 
> _The groom broke into a grave to retrieve the sword of an ancestor, which actually had been placed there by his attendants- his father, brothers, or other married male friends. In order to obtain the sword, the groom had to enter the grave, and emerge with the sword. Symbolically it was his death as a boy when he entered the grave and emerging as a man._

* * *

“I still don’t know what the fuck we’re doing here,” Connor flatly points out.

“We’re doing  _ bachelor _ stuff,” Lars hisses as he knocks into Connor’s shoulder. “God, do you ever pay attention?”

“You ran into three different trees on the way here and you can’t even hit my shoulder right. If anyone’s got attention problems, it’s you.”

“In  _ his _ defense,” Volstagg offers, “He’s small and lanky and can’t hold his drink.”

“That’s not a defense!” Lars shoots back. “It’s not my fault you’re all fucking giants.” He squints up at Connor. “Especially you.  _ Fucker. _ ”

“Are we-” Connor can’t quite stifle his amused chuffs, “-were we  _ supposed _ to be this drunk?”

Vidar slaps into Vali’s shoulder with a lazy grin. “Probably not!” Vali translates, “but who’s gonna stop us anyway? There’s no one here except, uuuuuuuh....” he squints in the general direction of the crypt, “dead people.”

“And all the guards that are supposed to keep away visitors!” Volstagg adds.

“...Are we robbing some old rich guy’s grave?” Connor slowly asks. “I’m totally okay if we are but I need to ask.”

“Listen. Sunrose.” Volstagg taps at the Gem with the sword in his hand. “It’s not robbing if we’re putting something  _ into  _ the grave.”

“This sounds vaguely illegal but I don’t know enough about graves to dispute it.”

Volstagg squints. “Do you  _ not _ have graves for-”

“It’s behind this wall, right?” Lars taps at the old stone. “How much rock am I looking at?”

Vidar gestures vaguely with his hands and taps one of his legs.

“Ten-” Lars stumbles over his words, “-ten…  _ steps?  _ Paces?” Vidar nods and Lars clicks to himself. “Right. Knew that. And after that is empty space? Cool.”

With that delightful heads up, Lars downs the last of his bottle, cracks his neck, and shouts into the rock.

...So it’s  _ not _ just the unbroken animals that can do the portal thing. Alright then. Connor’s gonna have to remember that.  _ Okay. _

(It’s still pretty funny to see the rest of them jump back when it happens, though.)

“Okay,” Lars goes on like nothing happened, “we’re gonna have to do a little baby chain here and hold my hand so nobody falls to Fuck Off, Kansas.”

In a briefly blinding flash of Diamonds’ colors, they all land (some more gracefully than others) in a dusty stone hall.

Real homey. Nice snake shaped floor tiling. Lots of skulls lining the walls.

“Right! We made it.” Volstagg puts his hands on his hips. “I have no idea where it is.”

“Disasters, all of you,” Connor mutters.

“It’s fine!” Vali insists. “It’s fine. That’s what Vidar’s for!”

Instead of bothering to answer, Vidar just walks off elsewhere, leaving everyone else generally staggering behind him.

“Is it this one?” Lars points at an imposingly carved box. “Are we crackin’ open this guy?”

“No, that’s Uncle Ve.”

“Darn.” Lars takes in the morbid wall decoration. “What about all the skulls and shit?”

“I think these are servants of the royal household,” Volstagg answers.

“Wild.”

“But back to the earlier conversation,” Volstagg says, turning back to Connor. “Do you lot not do graves?”

“Gems don’t leave bodies,” Connor clarifies. “And the Jets get burned, I think. Or buried down somewhere with the crops. I’m not sure.”

“We do funeral pyres,” Volstagg concedes, “but we still do  _ markers _ for the dead at least.”

“Well, don’t ride my rocks over it,” Connor deflects, “I’m not a dead guy expert here.”

“There’s not gonna be an actual dead guy behind that, is there?” Lars tentatively asks. “Because I’m not drunk enough to face mortality again.”

“Just some history books and personal belongings, I think.” Volstagg gestures with the sword again. “There’s supposed to be a statue where we put this thing, but we’ll have to get past the door first. Big stone slab thing.”

“I can handle that,” Connor offers.

They’ve nearly reached the farthest end of the crypt. Vidar tugs on Vali’s sleeve.

“I think we made it!” Vali interprets. “Who do we have?”

“Bor,” Volstagg reads from the plaque, “son of Buri. Second king of Asgard.” He whistles appreciatively.

“Oh damn,” Lars whispers.

A silence.

“Well, time to barge into our grandfather’s grave!” Vali brightly exclaims.

=<>=

“That felt like so many levels of treason,” Lars laughs. “Thank fuck we don’t have to do  _ that _ again.”

“We have to do it again with Thor tomorrow so he can take the sword,” Volstagg smiles.

  
“ _ Excuse me, what the fuck- _ ”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was an actual norse wedding custom. (lars isn't married obviously but he's there to help them break in)
> 
> ~~no one:~~   
>  ~~lars: haha this ain't the first time i've had to handle a family sword if y'know what i mean~~


	50. Something To Think About

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor talks to himself for a little bit.

* * *

One of Wolf’s first spoken words was _I want to eat Odin_ \- in retrospect, that probably says more about Connor than Wolf himself.

Odin is… frustrating. For reasons Connor can’t quite pin down. Maybe it’s the frustration of having to work around a stubborn old man, but Connor shouldn’t _hate him_.

But he does. Maybe.

It’s a scary thought.

They’re all sitting around at the entrance of the crypt, and Odin’s with them this time. The aesir are all cheerfully reminiscing about a younger Thor as they wait for the man himself to come back outside with his wedding sword. It’s an odd time to get nostalgic, but apparently the whole song and dance of this graveyard business is symbolic of the death of Thor’s childhood as he gets reborn a man, so Connor’s not gonna ruin the fun. It’s important to them, and it’s important to _Thor_. That’s all he needs to know.

He’s just realizing that he’s probably met Odin a grand total of twice. This old stout aesir with a gimp in his walk, the silver of his hair contrasted to the faded bronze of his skin.

...Thor is afraid of Odin. Maybe more than he realizes.

It’s Thor only having good things to say about Odin. It’s Thor always a little too worried about _what Father would think_. It’s Az mentioning off-hand the lengths Thor went to just to sneak a simple _conversation_ with him outside the Allfather’s eye. (The resigned surprise of realizing his brother had been sold away.) It’s Thor cheerfully telling Connor about being 850 when he went on his first battle errands- barely past _12_ in human years.

Maybe Connor’s projecting a little here, but it just _doesn’t look good._ It’s familiar in a way that he doesn’t like.

Which sucks, because Connor really, _really_ doesn’t want to hate Odin. Thor really cares about Odin, and he’s a soon-to-be retired king on top of that- _it would not be practical_ to hold a grudge against him.

But he _wants_ to.

(But Thor would probably get upset, and Az would- well, maybe he wouldn’t get _mad_ , but he’d probably be disappointed.)

Which is why Connor’s leaning against a stone wall vaguely dissociating in the general direction of the sky instead of being offended by Odin’s continued existence. He’s trying. Angel Aura Quartz would be proud.

**I’m just saying. If he pulls a Rose Quartz I’m decking him in the face.**

_The faked death, the fake war, or the funny little suicide trick?_

**Yes.**

_I don’t like the way Thor talks about him._

**There’s a lot of things Thor says about him. What about it?**

_He sounds like the way we used to talk about the Gems when we were a kid._

**…** **Hmm. You have a point there. That can’t be good.**

_It feels like the-_

Nope. Nope, he’s not gonna think about _that_ . He’s gonna stay a whole ten fucking lightyears off from _that_ , bad road bad road bad road-

**We may need to talk to Angel Aura - again.**

_Probably._

**Perhaps we** **_should_ ** **let Wolf eat Odin. It would solve so many problems.**

_And then create at least twenty more when the dust settles from that. Best to leave it alone for now._

**True, I suppose. But so help me, if he pulls any of Rose’s f u c k i n g**

Connor blinks harshly, pulling himself back into place. He’s projecting again. Bad idea. Connor’s not Thor, Thor’s not Connor, _and thank fuck for that._ He can’t- he can’t act like this is the same situation.

Odin is an old man with maybe a decade or so more to live at best. He’s not a grand evil pulling Thor along like a puppet- Thor is more than that, _better_ than that. And Odin seems to be looking forward to retirement more than anything- there’s a tired, easy smile on his face that he clearly hasn’t worn in a long, long time, and he’s left most of the proceedings for Thor to decide. He’s… probably not a bad person. Maybe.

_Still, doesn’t excuse him leaving WMDS in one place (and songs above, the Tesseract. We need to do something about it. )_

**Maybe we could ask Az to move it? A nice secured Gem Vault should…**

_Or maybe the Alfeneel could hide it away, somewhere any petty Intergalactic idiotic tyrants wouldn’t…._

**...go and make another** **_repeat_ ** **of our favorite childhood memories because of leaving an assortment of dangerous objects where they can literally bite us in the ass later with no real security.**

_Nope, nope, bad road. Stop thinking about that.. do breathing exercises like Angel Aura taught us…_

His staggered parody of breathing comes out as a vague ringing growl. He sees Lars catch the sound, dead eye narrowing shrewdly, before loudly making some joke to the others about Connor ‘idling’ like a machine. (He’ll probably have to thank Lars later for the diversion.)

**At least he got us off of that trail of thought.**

_Yes, we owe him. Maybe we could have Peridot whip him up some special blends?_

**And maybe we should have Peridot make us some, if we have to stay around Odin for long periods of time.**

_Drinking on the job is hardly professional._

**Odin’s continued existence is hardly professional.**

_Please don’t equate him to our previous “hosts” when we were younger._

Whatever. It’s fine. _It’s fine._ Odin is _tolerable_ and Connor doesn’t have a good reason to hate him and it’s not like he’s going to be king for much longer and Connor won’t have to _deal_ with him soon.

Odin’s been perfectly polite, even, these last few days. Practically the perfect host, if not distantly melancholy in a way that… reminds him of Az, almost.

_Or like Rose._

**Oh stars,** **_really_ ** **, Con? You really had to go and say that.**

_Am I wrong, though?_

**You’re right. You’re right and I hate it.**

_But I am right._

Lovely. That entire train of thought is probably going to crop up for the rest of the day and he just won’t be sleeping tonight. _Great._

_Hooray for critical thinking. What a fucking headache._

**At least we’re drinking after this weird little stag party is over.**

_Yellow-Pink, right?_

**I was talking about the Asgardian stuff, y’know.**

_You know that doesn’t work on us, Thorn._

**Ah, so you** **_don’t_ ** **remember what happened in Alfheim.**

_What the fuck happened in Alfheim?_

**Oh, you know.**

_Thorn, what the fuck does that mean-_

“I’m back!” Thor shouts, wedding sword slung across his back. “You really went and made me walk _all_ the way to the back of the crypt?”

_Yes_ , Vidar bluntly signs.

“It seemed only fitting,” Odin answers in turn.

“Lovely,” Thor dryly responds. “What if I got jumped in the night and died of something? Then you’d be properly sorry for it.”

“But ya didn’t,” Lars points out anyway.

“Rest assured,” Volstagg smiles, “we would have bravely defended you if you encountered anything.”

“Like a falling skull!” Vali offers. “Or a very determined swan.”

“Or an unbroken,” Connor chimed in. 

“They don’t have those, Connor,” Lars points out.

“Ya got me there.”

“Can’t you all at least _pretend_ to be a little worried for my safety?” Thor pleads.

“Why?” Connor asks. “If you die, the crypt is right there.”

“ _Wow, I see how it is-_ ”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (on this episode of Odin's A Dick But He's Not One-Dimensional)


	51. Secret Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki thinks about things and shares a secret.

* * *

Seeing Thor again wasn’t… joyous, per se, but it was less tense than Loki thought it could have been. Maybe her anxieties inflated her predictions- maybe Thor himself was simply different now. (Maybe  _ she  _ was different now- who’s to say, at this point? She certainly wouldn’t know.)

There was no sense of  _ grief _ like there had been before, when the dust of the trial had settled with their family freshly broken. There wasn’t that heart-crushing sense of dread that came from seeing them, or the all-encompassing wash of panic. Norns, it was almost  _ normal _ . Not quite  _ family _ , not so soon, but… tentative solidarity, perhaps, in this new status quo.

For Thor and his brothers, Loki could look back and see her grievance was not with  _ them _ \- they were children then, like she was. They never knew anything but the stories they were fed, either. Mending that particular bridge was simply a matter of swallowing wounded pride and silently promising to start on a different foot the second time around. 

No, her quarrel had always been with those who had boxed her in and told her who she was and what she was capable of, clicking disappointed tongues when she did not conform with the lie she was not. Odin, who crafted and weaved the web of lies that was her life, and Frigga, who stood aside and watched.

Perhaps it’s harsh of her to extend that judgement to Frigga- petty, even. Frigga, the vanir princess, the  _ warprize _ . Equal parts royal hostage and last resistance, the vague promise that through her the vanir would have this one avenue of power in the aesir world order. Bought and sold, less a woman than a figure with a price-tag, a means to an end for her auctioneers. (Maybe Loki understood her more than she ever wanted to admit.)

But the difference between Loki and Frigga is that Frigga was Odin’s  _ equal _ , in intent if not in practice. From Frigga’s cushions, she would always be secure, always be cherished, always be  _ heard _ even when not heeded. Odin  _ loved _ his wife as he loved little else, and Loki remembers the way he said he would have  _ “set the very skies ablaze for her.” _ (Loki remembers the sharpness of Frigga’s eyes every time he did, and knows it was never an empty promise.)

In another life, maybe she could have been Loki’s savior. She could have stayed Odin’s hand, at least for a while, kept her fostered child close to home, been her  _ mother. _ But that was not what the Fates had in store for her- rather, Frigga always kept resigned in such times. When Odin began to blow his fuse, she would draw into herself until she seemed as stone as her sons, until her husband felt her absence and reigned his temper on his own time.

Where Frigga could have changed Loki’s fate, she only sealed it. In a way, her refusal to be the voice of reason to her husband, her vain hope that her children could simply  _ wait out _ their father’s anger, was more hurtful than his angry words and violent hands ever were. Frigga looked and refused to see- a perpetual state of willful ignorance that would only ever serve to drive a wedge between herself and those children she so loved. 

At least Loki knew from experience that she was not the only one so abandoned. Many of the most riveting adventures she and Thor ever had were initially simple ploys to escape Odin’s wrath- a dash through the doorway which Frigga’s eyes always seemed to follow them from, if never stop them. 

Strange, how Loki ever thought of Thor as the  _ favorite _ , as if Odin’s scrutiny was something enviable. Children are funny like that- the wisest thoughts in some connections and the worst sense of logic in others.

Stranger still was this new  _ arrangement _ she’s been bound to. She is a slave, and yet not. Owned, but in no mortal fashion, clearly- she is slowly learning the odd nuance of Gems and their words, and to be  _ owned _ implies more a sense of responsibility for the ‘owner’, instead of the service of the ‘owned’.

Strangest, however, was that somehow,  _ she felt more accepted in that house than she ever did in her own home. _ That Diamond, knowing nothing of Loki other than what she saw for herself, simply allowed Loki to define this newly overthrown existence as  _ Loki _ saw fit- and to do so in the presence of Her Radiance’s own family, at that. (As if Loki was no different than them, as if  _ she  _ too was family, and isn’t that an entirely different puzzle to unpack?)

The shorter male,  _ Greg _ , who’d offered her a place at the table with hardly a second glance, and the apples he’d set for her. (The apples that once made her feel bittersweet and homesick now feeling more nostalgic than anything- a change she was  _ perfectly _ fine with.)

The purple Gem, Amethyst, who’d been more than happy to help her find her way around the place (Something that was probably as essential as it was eccentric; Navigating her messes was an art in it of itself.), who flitted across every form and face she’d ever seen as easily as water filled a cup simply because she asked. 

The Pearl, who’s name was whispered by other Gems with the heavy respect one saves for a ghost set to haunt them at any moment, who walked on water and danced with swords. (Who gagged like a cat at all of Amethyst’s self-made meals, who clucked at the state of Loki’s room and taught her how to do chores.)

The tall, imposing figure of the Garnet, who said little but saw all. She had helped Loki move what little possessions she had into their home, telling her where to go as if she’d known all along that she would be there. A face carved of stone until she’d pointedly split in half at dinner once, and the two smaller Gems she held laughed at Loki’s surprise.

_ Sunrose Diamond _ , who didn’t even live with them, who laughs flatly at Loki’s (partially) empty threats to stab him, lets his wolf run aimlessly around with Loki’s things, who seems to have quietly decided that he’s Loki’s irresponsible older brother now and no one can do anything about it, least of all Loki. (There were some days she wondered if he would tell someone to get help and her body would respond.)

And the child. Mori to some, Vairam to others, wild with everyone, he was a ball of constant motion, and that’s when he  _ wasn’t _ popping out of thin air. At least he was a sweet child, if mildly chaotic- Norns knows what would be wrought if Morion was more like  _ Loki _ as a child. (Though  _ that’s _ certainly an idea. His hair would surely be a challenge to beat in a knife-hiding contest.)

Despite her earlier efforts against it, Loki can’t help but admit that the child had endeared himself to her. He’d actually been  _ excited _ to know there would be someone else in the house, promptly making it his mission over the next few weeks to get every morsel of information he could out of her- what colors did she like, what was her favorite food, what games did she like- and then showering her with items matching her descriptions. Sometimes in the normal way, but sometimes randomly appearing on her bed, or simply next to her without warning.

Sometimes from the rafters.  _ Most of the time _ from the rafters. (He really liked the rafters. It was a good thing she was so used to looking up for Huginn and Muninn, she’d  _ never _ be able to keep track of him otherwise.) At this point she’s gotten all too familiar with hearing random laughter coming from somewhere above her.

Which is probably why it took a few seconds too long to realize that particular sound shouldn’t have been on  _ Asgard _ of all places. As soon as her conscience made the connection, her head went on a swivel- up, down, and all around.

It was for naught, inevitably- He poked her from behind, his grin quite literally splitting his face. “Hiiiii, Locks!”

“Morion. Child. Did you stow away on our ship to follow us to Asgard?” Loki slowly asks.

“...Nnnnnno?” Morion answers innocently.

“Is that so?” Loki raises her eyebrows. “Then how  _ did _ you get here?”

“ _ Baba! _ ”

“Are you trying to say that Her Radiance managed to take you along to Asgard this entire time and not tell anyone about this?”

“Ye.”

They both blink silently at each other.

“That’s bullshit, but I believe it,” Loki finally says, picking up Morion from his bouncing perch on the floor. “She  _ would _ do that.”

Morion shrugs, giggling as he ascends. “I saw stars!! They were pretty.”

“I’m sure the view would be better from the library observatory.” Loki looks slyly to the side. “Not that we’re  _ allowed _ to, of course. Only the  _ scholars _ are allowed to be in the observatory and look at all the prettiest stars.”

Morion gasps with wide eyes, utterly offended with a hand to his heart. “I learn! I can scholar!”

“They only let the tall and  _ important _ ones mess around in there,” Loki insists with a dramatic flourish. “Which is why I mapped a secret tunnel into the library walls several centuries ago.”

Morion’s wide eyes fill with stars, hands rising to cover his mouth. “Secrets?”

“Very secret,” Loki repeats. “Tell no one.”

Morion zips his lips and throws away the key. “Tell them what?”

“That’s the spirit.”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> vairam: hi baba  
> az: hello baby  
> connie and lars: hey how the fuck did mori get here  
> az realizing he forgot to tell them he took vairam along: a h


	52. Bitter? Me? Never

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The wedding may be too private for Cinna to show up to until the coronation ceremony, but that doesn't mean Cinna can't have fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Accessibility warning for vision or reading impaired: this chapter contains minor passages with exotic formatting. Such instances are kaomoji text and therefore will not be read by screenreaders. They are not necessary to comprehend the chapter content.

* * *

**Spice Girl**

Adya where are you get over here

so i can make you hot

Oh god please don’t set me on fire

Only in good ways :)

What the fuck does that mean,

;)

THAT DOESN’T ANSWER MY QUESTION

I just want my Best Girl to look nice

at a space wedding, is that too much to ask?

Fair i guess

i Will give you the Fiercest Eyeliner

You have one hand how fierce can it be

WOW RUDE

I’m Right Though

Give me your bones

No

Give me your face so i can give you

Spicy contour

Ffffffffine

Hehehe

This sounds like Tricks what are you planning

I’m not VIP enough to be at the ceremony

But i can help you have a good time ;)

((suspicion))

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Cinna what the fuck does that mean

Oh :) you know :)

i hear married couples get up to all kinds of stuff at weddings :)

You stop that

I hear Sunrose Diamond’s palanquin is very nice :)

sHUT

And, funny enough, it's padded enough to be virtually soundproof, 

How Convenient

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Y’know :)

For any

Confidential Conversations :)

I’m going to punch you in the throat

You can’t even reach my throat

I’ll bite you until you fall over and then i’ll punch you in the throat

Not my kink, sweetie

Cinna w h y

:)

* * *


	53. I Love You. I Love You.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I swear that I do._

* * *

It’s a beautiful day, Thor distantly realizes as he looks to the sky. 

The sun shines through the sacred grove, the twin ash trees of the latticed arbor swaying gently on the breeze and laden with mistletoe.

He would have preferred a cloudier day, to be honest. But that would have been a  _ bad omen _ , as the Norns would say, and it would be in poor taste to scare the visiting delegates in the city with the rolling thunder that could have been taken as his wrath. So as much as he  _ wants _ to let his pent-up thoughts into the air, he can’t. Mjolnir, at least, is a comforting weight at his side, even as his hands strangle the sword intended for his bride.

“You’re staring,” Sif whispers.

“Sorry,” Thor nervously laughs, looking down at the golden braces on their matching wrists. “I think I’ve gotten that ‘stage fright’ theater actors always worry about.”

“I think I know what you mean,” she laughs in turn. “The Mothers  _ never _ made me this nervous.”

“You do look beautiful today, though,” Thor insists.

And she does.

Her gown is simple and white, the same as his tunic, with their cloaks the same matching red. It is nothing extravagant. Wealth and status have no bearing in this sacred moment. Her long golden locks, gently scattered with white flowers and framed by the humble silvers of her bridal crown, make him silently yearn for his old blond hair colorings. But she sees the true fire-red of his hair and smiles, just a bit- and just this once he cannot hate the way he looks.

“ _ You’re _ staring,” Thor points out with an embarrassed heat on his he hopes doesn't strike too gold on his face.

A golden blush paints Sif’s cheeks, her green eyeliner only that much more striking against her dark eyes. “It’s not  _ my _ fault the silver brings out your eyes,” she mutters. 

“We can just blame Loki for choosing our colors and call it a day,” Thor allows.

“That usually works out,” Sif scoffs.

The  _ gothi _ is saying something- some important blessing of the gods, of the ancestors, of the cardinal directions, of the king. Thor has known it a hundred times before today, and he cannot hear a single word of it. His resting smile feels like frozen stone on his face. It’s a gods-damned miracle he doesn’t drop the ring and the sword all in one- his hands felt like the tremors in earth.

“Hey.” Sif places her hand on his. “We’ll be fine. It’s only  _ us _ .”

_ Norns, if only that weren't the problem.  _ “Only us,” he whispers back.

“Your Majesties?” The  _ gothi _ gently broaches. “The blades and the rings.”

Thor swallows, steeling his will as he begins to pass over the sword he had into Sif’s hand. Her sword passes to him, and while their hands are still near, they exchange their rings.

These, too, are simple things- wealth be damned, they were warriors first and royalty second. There was no need for jewels, for fragile filament, nor obstructions to their hands. Their rings would be as strong as their swords, and they would settle for nothing more or less. His lightning-scarred palms linger on her sword callused hands, and this time, his fingers do not shake.

They have held each other's hands a thousand times before over seemingly endless centuries. This is no different. No different despite the bands snug on their fingers, the weight of golden braces on their wrists.

No different even as the  _ gothi _ reverently wraps the wide handfast ribbon around their shared hold.

The  _ gothi _ touches her staff to the completed pattern, and steps back.

Thor and Sif look up from their hands, and their eyes meet. Time itself could have shattered before him and it would have felt no different.

And he loves Sif. He always has. Even this changes nothing- this, too, was no different. (Maybe there’s nothing wrong with that- that’s how it’s supposed to be, isn’t it?)

Thor leans down to kiss her in front of the gathered cheering crowd, praying on every last god there is that he might just love her enough.

* * *


	54. A Waste Of An Appetite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More and more of the little talks.

* * *

The ceremony was… fine. Loki’s never  _ been _ to that many weddings in the first place, and she’d certainly never been  _ invited _ to one before.

The  _ gothi’s _ words are as droll as ever, but it’s not like she needs to pay attention to any of it- her eyes are for the bride and groom, just like the rest of the lot. Soon enough, though, it’s time for everyone to stand and line up around the edge of the grove.

_ Right _ , she remembers after a moment.  _ The bride-run _ . There’s about to be a fun little race to the feast hall. Though it’s not a fair race in the slightest from the looks of it- Loki can  _ feel _ the little magic tricks about to come into play. Thor and Sif gripping their swords, the Three gearing up for a burst of speed worthy of a fight, Sunrose gently picking up his wife.

_ Well we can’t have that, can we? _

Loki can’t  _ win _ , of course- that would be rude, and she can’t keep up with the unnatural speed of the groom. Still, it was fun to see the look on everyone else’s face when a green-eyed cheetah secured a solid third place. (She’ll thank Amethyst for the wildlife books later.)

Aside from that, it gives her a good seat to watch the sword-tossing from. Thor throws his sword clear into the rafters, and the blade sinks to the handle right next to all the other time-honored scratches on the ceiling.

Being early also gives a first pick of all the feast food, as well. The boar that had been sacrificed before the ceremony is freshly roasted, and the marrow pie is to  _ die _ for.

_ And the ale _ . A stout honey ale, no doubt Asgardian proof- going by the strength of it, the batch must have been brewing ever since Thor and Sif were first engaged all those centuries ago.

Thor and Sif have their own private batch, of course. Such is the usual custom, and there is quite a lot of it- enough to last their entire first month, in theory. (Maybe Loki could steal some later. Surely they wouldn’t notice.)

It was good to step back and see her own handiwork, at least, looking at Thor and Sif’s head table. In her own not-so-humble opinion, she made them look rather nice. She’ll probably make some changes to their paints when the coronation comes around.  _ That _ event is meant to be fancier, she’ll really be able to get adventurous. Maybe a subtle glitter-

“You seem healthier,” Odin quietly broaches. (Fuck, when did he get there?)

_ Gods, it’s going to be one of  _ _ those _ _ talks, is it? Damn it.  _ “Yes, well-” Loki rudely splits the bone of her marrow pie with her fingers, “-I’m sure just about anything looks like an improvement over being a formerly tortured prisoner of war.”

Odin’s short laugh is distinctly uncomfortable. (Good for him.) “I’m glad you’re doing better, at least. I suppose the Gems have treated you well, in that respect.”

“Her Radiance’s household is very kind,” Loki flatly concedes. “I have learned many things under their instruction, even in coping with...” she gestures at her horned face with her black claws, now painted the same emerald as her dress. “ _ This. _ ”

“I am sorry for that,” and  _ fuck, _ he actually sounds like he means it, even. “I thought it would be better at the time, to raise you as aesir. The treaties hadn’t even been signed when you came into my care. I thought it would have been unsafe for you to be a jotunn in such dangerous times.”

“A time that  _ you _ brought into existence,” Loki points out. “A war  _ you _ waged. You could have kept me safely, a jotunn prince in your house, but you did not. You act as if you lied for my safety, but I was the one who paid for it, in the end.”

At this, Odin’s eye sharpens, and Loki bites back the urge to flinch. He is not her father, and he is not her  _ Allfather _ , either. He has no jurisdiction over her and he wouldn’t dare pull a stunt so close to retirement. 

She tries to remember that as Odin’s defensive glower dies down to a resigned sigh.

“You may be right,” he mutters. “I made many errors as a king- far too many to let myself keep ruling.” He nods towards Thor and Sif’s table. “It’s about time to let the young take it on, anyways. I’ve gotten too old for all this nonsense.”

“Hm.” With nothing real to add to the thought, Loki takes a long drink from her glass. “Change can be good, I suppose.”

“There  _ has _ been quite a lot of change lately, hasn’t there?” Odin spares a pointed glance for Loki’s clothes. “You’ve never had that sort of wardrobe before. Did the Gems put you in those clothes?”

_ Of course you’d think someone  _ _ made _ _ me wear them. _ “I  _ chose _ these clothes. They let me wear what I please.” She takes another deliberate sip from her ale. “ _ And _ take whatever form I please. Gems are no stranger to shapeshifting, after all.”  _ And they know me better than you ever cared to learn. _

“I see,” Odin accepts awkwardly.

Before he can say anything else, Adya sidles on over. “Loki, help me,” she dramatically pleads. “Connor doesn’t believe me when I am telling him we can eat the bone things in the pies.”

“Oh?”

“He wants to give it all to Wolf!”

“Well, we can’t have that, can we?” Loki smiles. “It would be a waste of a marrow pie.”

Adya tugs on Loki’s hand to drag her up before frowning in Odin’s direction. “Am I interrupting?”

“Not at all,” Loki distantly assures as she stands, “we were just done anyway.”

* * *


	55. The Chain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well don't sue her, she's only in love.

* * *

In Adya’s defense, this is at least a little Connor’s fault.

_Maybe_.

A little bit.

Probably.

Because she was really just very excited to be at her second royal alien wedding- which was two more than most people have ever been to, so cousin Lakshimi can _suck it._

It was less fancy than she expected it to be? It was certainly less fancy than Connie’s wedding- simple adornments and plain colors. But it was nice, and the grove was very pretty, and the race to the feast was unexpectedly fun (said fun had nothing to do with the way Connor had suddenly scooped her up and decided they would _both_ get second place, no sirree.)

Maybe.

Probably not.

Just like how she definitely _didn’t_ get a _little_ drunk off of alcohol that was definitely meant for someone stronger than her, and then _definitely_ didn't cheat and pass it to Connor. Nope, not her.

She just randomly felt like kissing her tall wife. If that just so happened to get her sober that’s not cheating, it’s a happy accident that she most definitely did not plan for when someone (read: Loki) had innocently challenged whether or not she could drink a full glass of Asgardian ale.

_Though she wasn't really planning for this to go on quite so long, now that she thinks about it._

Nor was she particularly _thinking_ about anything when they were both ambling nowhere in particular, and she’d dared to say out loud that she hadn’t really seen Connor’s palanquin before.

She hadn't, that was true, but for some reason the further they walked the fuzzier her stomach felt- like a grove of swarming butterflies buzzing under her skin.

She had asked, and he’d smiled and asked if _that_ was what she wanted. She said _yes_.

And that had been that, naturally, but now that they actually _are_ headed over there she’s getting the vague suspicion that she’s trapped herself somehow- not that she knows _what_ , of course.

Maybe.

It’s a nice palanquin, anyways. 

A bit bigger on the inside than it looked- what should have been a simple throne and little else ended up being more of a full-on tent the size of a big office space; Complete with circular couches, a rather dignified desk, and a rolly chair. (Okay, it was less of a _rolly_ chair and more of a _floating_ chair, but it can do the spinning around thing, so it’s a rolly chair in spirit.)

"Are you just going to stand there and stare," Connor asks from the middle of the room, cocking his head at her, "or are you coming in?"

“I’m getting there, don’t worry.” 

The carved open walls of the outside were completely closed from the actual inside- and once again, Adya tries and fails to comprehend the logic of Gem architecture. (Still doesn't explain the sudden pounding in her blood. She feels lightheaded, almost.)

“So, uh-” she shuffles on her feet for a moment. “I heard these things are soundproof? What’s up with that?”

"These are private quarters- we prefer to keep them that way," he states, splaying a hand along the panels of the walls. "Keeps any prying eyes or straying ears from staying too long."

“Am I even allowed to be in here?” she nervously laughs.

“I don’t see why not,” he bluntly answers. “You’re with me- besides, you asked me to show you, didn't you?" He waves his hand with a short laugh. “It’s fine, it’s not exactly sacred ground or anything. These things are practically glorified tents. Stars knows I ended up crashing in this thing more than once on Mars.”

"You crashed and didn't tell me?" She tuts, rolling her eyes.

“I meant-” his song cuts with an embarrassed wheezing, “-I meant _sleeping_. But also crashing into snowdrifts. Maybe. One time.” He looks to the side. “There were no witnesses and you can’t prove it happened.”

"Shows what you know." She beams, shuffling again. "Did you _drift_ off?"

Connor snorts. “Wow, okay. _Ice_ see what you did there.”

" _Snow_ problem- Hehehe." Adya finally steps through the doorway, brushing aside the curtain as she goes. The curtains snap closed behind her like doors. "Eh?" She starts, confused by the sound.

“Don’t worry, it just does that. Security and all that nonsense.” He falls back into the floating chair, pushing it back slightly with his legs. “Wouldn’t do good if it could open and close for every little thing.”

"Guess I'm the rare exception in such little things?"

Connor leans his head into his hand. “You always are,” he smiles fondly.

_How dare._ How dare his song tilt all soft and sweet while he just _looks_ at her with those stupid round puppy eyes. Treason. Betrayal. _Crimes._

Insidious and criminal and it’s _totally unfair_ that he decided to be more casual for the wedding and _not_ wear his vest and _leave his top button open_. Witches could have been burned for less.

“I hate you,” she smiles. “I hate you so much right now.”

“Oh dear. What _have_ I done?” He touches his knuckles to his brow dramatically.

“You’re being pretty and it’s absolutely evil.”

“If I’m evil for that, then you’re positively wicked.” Even as he smiles with the taunt, he’s all too sincere. “You’re always beautiful.”

She can feel her face flush, so she sticks her tongue out at him. "Takes one to know one, puppy."

“What a pair of villains we are,” his song scoffs. “What _will_ we do about it?”

“Oh, I don’t know.” With that flippant sentence, she casually walks closer until he actually has to raise his eyes a bit to look up at her from his seat. “Maybe something dramatic.”

"Dramatic, you say?" His brow arches. "Dare I ask?"

“Nothing _too_ bad, I think.” She brushes a hand on his face, and as always it’s all too easy for him to lean into the touch.

"Hmmm, guess I'd better watch out just in case." He maintains easy eye contact, hands clasped in his lap like some kind of _criminal_. (The suit helped. Honestly, it was so weird how different someone could look just by changing some clothes.)

“Are you _sure_ about that?” She softly asks. “Someone might take you by surprise.”

"Maybe," he admits, shrugging, "But I trust you to show me the way, _my_."

Adya could probably say something smoothly poetic to that. Something about betrayal and surprises and unexpected things, and it would probably be very brave and sexy of her.

Unfortunately, right this second, her wife is the single most beautiful thing that’s ever happened to her, so there’s not really anything much to think about except the simple fact that she’s going to kiss him and there’s nothing anyone can do about that, least of all her. (Not that that's an issue by any means.)

There’s always a little chirp of surprise every time she kisses him (and it’s _very_ cute, she can confirm), but as she holds it she is _definitely_ not prepared for the way he melts into her and his song _slides_ down her throat. It buzzes past her tongue and echoes right into her bones, and that buzz blooms into a blazing in her chest.

Instinct is supposed to be important for these kinds of things, at least in theory, but she’s pretty damn sure they’re way past wherever the fuck that was supposed to apply. Her brain abandoned ship and was back there a ways- bye-bye, brain, no thoughts, head empty. All Adya could do was _feel._

There is no thoughts and no words and no particular destination. It’s the way neither of them quite remember when she ended up on top of him (with no protest from either of them), or how her hands were intermingled with the few buttons left on his shirt. ~~Guess instinct helped, after all.~~

It’s _his_ hands- the arm around her waist pressing them closer together, claws gently carded through her hair, the way he softly tilts her head as he trails kisses down her neck and she feels the subtle dig and graze of fangs on her skin. The way his chest (however strange it was) rumbled beneath her with suppressed purrs.

The long-suffering laugh when she undoes his hair _again_ , stuttering when her hand glides down from his neck and onto his revealed chest, slowly tracing the notches and veins etched across his skin.

Beneath her eyelids, static crackles and bursts with colors, bright and beautiful. Time stills and the world holds its breath; It doesn't register to either of them that they've started floating off the chair.

A bright, bubbly laugh escapes her when she finally pauses for air- she'd forgotten how much longer he could hold his for. The spring in her stomach coils tighter, but she feels _freed_ somehow.

(It feels _right_ . _God,_ it feels so right.)

=<>=

Connor musses her hair, dazedly drinking in the sight of her as she comes back to some sense of lucidity. Her eyes shine, dark cheeks brushed with a deep red and her glasses slipping just a tad down the bridge of her nose- She is illuminated in the dusky glow of the lantern, and she is perfect.

"I think I liked that surprise."

“You…” she gasps, “... are being way too smug for your own good.”

“Am I?” he distantly breathes.

"Very." She smirks, hands trailing down to his stomach. “Can’t have that, can we?”

"What're you gon _naaa **aa** _-” The lazy smile on his face gets undercut by the drawn, unraveled sound of his song falling apart as she all-too-innocently slides her fingers across the face of his gem.

“What was that, puppy?” she sweetly asks.

For a moment, he just sits and stares at her, eyes shuttering as he processes the action. Words have clearly gone and fucking fled him, and all _he_ can do past the fog in his head and the ringing weight on his gem is trill dizzily into her, thinking _songs, you are the fucking_ **_end_ ** _of me._

And he loved every bit of it. 

He loves her, he loves her in every touch and kiss and every sweet word, and he loves her so much it spills out of him and back into her.

The sudden rush of code was _definitely_ new, and he sees it even in her mind’s eye- her eyes crackle with the sensation of that love, images flashing in sequences she barely sees but makes something in her heart swell.

(It is not fusion, but it is _oneness_. It is fulfilling and exhilarating and utterly unforgettable- the joining of minds and bodies in a more profound fashion than even literal may be. For a moment, in the lantern light of that room, all is right.)

And she _wants._ She wants with something foreign and entirely alien to him, it crashes through his head until cerise creeps on the edge of his eyes, and it only makes her want all the more.

She wants every touch and kiss and every sweet word, until she steals the song right from his mouth like an endless chain, until the only thing that's left echoing in her ears is her name.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no one:  
> battleblaze: haha do you think any of the guards saw them getting into the palanquin together


	56. Cinna Gets Punched In The Throat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cinna gets punched in the throat.

* * *

**Cowaerde™**

So

:)

Good morning adya :)

Ech

How were your adventures? :)

My wh

I’m just sayin

A certain married couple didn’t 

make it to their guest rooms last night

:)))

And they weren't the bride and groom-

SHUT

FUCKING CALLED IT

MOON OWES ME NOODLES NOW

HER RAMEN FUCKING S L A P S

YOU BET ON THIS??

What else am i gonna bet on

The fucking kardashians

The wh

YOU CANT DISTRACT ME

HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN A THING??

Wouldn’t you like to know ;)

I'm going to punch 

you in the throat

A fair price to pay for good ramen

Is it

Is it really

How hard will your

baby coward gay 

guitar hands hurt me

With the rage of 1,000 suns

Damn bitch you treat your wife like that

I’M COMING FOR

YOUR N E C K

Kinky

Guess all that  rock's pretty tough, huh? ;)

I WILL PERSONALLY SHATTER

YOUR HYOID BONE

I'm quaking in my boots

Jk dat u

* * *

**Connie’s Wife**

Why does Cinna look like she’s

been punched in the throat?

I’m not mad I just wanna talk.

She deserved it

She did the deed 

I had the need

What deed???

Shhh don’t worry about it

???

I am… very confused.

Good. never learn

* * *


	57. Jealous Jaspers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She doesn't like it when people touch him.

* * *

Jasper prides herself on being well prepared. Any good soldier is prepared for the mission ahead, and- well. She always hates surprises. Even the ‘good’ kind.

(Besides, it’s kind of funny when people think she knows everything.)

Of course, the flaw in attempting to know everything is that one will not always  _ remember _ everything- or more frustrating still, simply not remember it at the right time.

Like how she’d forgotten about Yellow Diamond’s lieutenant until it was too late to avoid her.

“A WONDERFUL MORNING AS ALWAYS, MY DIAMONDS!”

_ Oh, stars.  _ _ Her _ _. _

Jasper sucks in a breath and tries not to make it a hiss.  _ Euhedral Hessonite Facet-41ZM Step-B17C4 _ . She knows the Gem well. They were both high profile members of the military, and euhedral on top of that, so they often ran in the same circles.

_ Hessonite _ had been a Prism wielder back in the day, and she lorded that qualification over everyone’s rocks until she apparently went and disappeared during the tail edge of the Gem War to  _ discover herself _ and free her Prism. 

She was also one of those upper crusts that managed to largely keep her merit through Era 3- she would talk the rock off of anyone who’d hear it, how she personally aided Asteria Diamond’s entourage in enforcing the Era change.

Poised and perfect and perpetually ahead of the curve, from one Era to the next.

She’d even changed her  _ form _ to advertise herself. Hessonite’s right eye is glassy and opalescent like the Prism she cherished so highly, while her normal red eye is framed by the golden triangle marking her face.

Preening clout touting fleck.  _ Shards,  _ Jasper hates her. 

Jasper especially hates the way she gets so  _ close _ to her Diamond.

“And how lovely to see  _ you _ after so long, Your Radiance.” She’s smiling under that purple scarf, Jasper knows it. (Smug clod.) “How long  _ has _ it been? I haven’t seen you in person since-”

“-Klavius 5, I believe,” Steven finishes, a low sigh in his song. “The Pearl riots.”

“Dreadful business, that,” Hessonite waves with a flourish from her golden cloak. “The poor things, it’s a miracle we got that sorted out at all.” She bows slightly to look down at him, visor glinting. “You’ve grown quite a bit since then, haven’t you? Certainly a far cry from when we first met on the battlefield.”

“Yes,” he laughs uneasily. “Comes with the  _ half human _ package, I guess.”

_ Hands tucked behind his back. Smile frozen. He’s uncomfortable _ , Jasper quickly notes. Connie is, too- her watchful eye is frostier than ever, one hand gripped on her sword.

“Your new form suits you quite well,” Hessonite notes. “Pink really is your color, I suppose.”

She leans the slightest bit closer, and he steps back. Not enough to be noticeable to anyone except Jasper- and  _ Connie _ , who looks like she’s fit to impale Hessonite right that instant.

Which means Jasper will probably have to intervene.  _ Ugh. _

So instead of letting something violent (but potentially satisfying) occur, Jasper smoothly blocks Hessonite’s path to face her Diamond. “There was filework you wanted to finish before the coronation.”

He blinks. “Oh! Right, yes. I’ll, uh-” He waves to Hessonite with pointed fingers. “-I’ll see you ‘round then, Hess.”

“Of course! I wouldn’t want to keep you away from your duties! Until next time.”

As they walk away (and Hessonite  _ leaps off the nearest balcony _ , the show-off), Connie gently shakes his shoulder. “You good?”

“I’m fine,” he distantly whispers back.

“If you feel unsafe around her I could always keep her farther away,” Jasper points out.

“It’s not that I feel  _ unsafe _ around her,” Steven corrects. “Hessonite is…  _ reliable. _ She does her work well. I like her!” 

Jasper and Connie stare skeptically at him.

“Professionally,” he elaborates. “In limited amounts. With several feet between us.”

“And there’s the time she almost killed you,” Connie darkly mutters.

“A lot of people have tried to kill me, Connie. She’s not special. Besides, she’s been perfectly well-behaved ever since.” He squints. “She’s just tall and  _ loud _ .”

=<>=

“I don’t like it when people are close enough to touch you,” Jasper states.

“You let  _ Connie _ ,” he notes with a raised eyebrow. “And the Crystal Gems.”

Connie had split off to check on the other human guests before they made it back to his palanquin, leaving Steven and Jasper alone to find actual file work for him to do. (The best excuses are true ones, after all.)

“It’s different,” she fires back. “They’re yours.”

“ _ All  _ Gems are mine, but you keep them away, too,” he points out.

“It’s not safe,” she deflects.

He leans back against his desk. “Try again.”

“I- you-” 

Jasper stumbles over her own song for a moment. The flex of her claws roll into her palms.

“You are  _ my _ Diamond,” she finally says. “They do not lay their hands on you.”

He blinks. “Do you get  _ jealous?  _ ” He slowly asks.

“ _ No _ ,” she hisses. “That’s stupid. Get off my facets. What are you, a Zircon?”

“Oh my stars, you  _ are _ jealous,” he whispers.

“I’m not  _ jealous _ ,” she denies, “I just- I  _ worry _ .”

There’s a considering look on his face now.

“Don’t make fun of me.”

“I’m not,” he quietly insists. “This is just- a little unexpected from you, that’s all.”

“I’m full of surprises,” she drily allows.

For a moment neither of them say anything.

“Y’know,” he starts up again, “I don’t actually like getting touched by strangers. Even with  _ Gems _ , I don’t like getting surprise contact. So… if you wanna keep an eye on my perimeter, I’m more than okay with that.”

“... _ Oh. _ ”

He laughs until grass nearly creeps through the curtains. “My Jasper,” he smiles. “Keep me safe, won’t you?”

Jasper chuffs awkwardly into her fist. "Of course."

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jasper: dear diary- today i had almost slain yellow diamond's lieutenant, hessonite. but i did not  
> jasper: **even though the grace of my diamond beckons me**


	58. Why You Shouldn't Rely On 1 Year Olds For Complex Moral Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Greg (accidentally) exploits the rich while Morion commits crimes with his weird cousin.

* * *

In retrospect, maybe Greg should have realized that Asgard wouldn’t have car-friendly roads.

Not that that’s particularly a  _ problem _ . The van’s seen plenty of off-roading- now more than ever since he moved in with the Gems. And ever since Pearl, Peridot, and Bismuth finally snapped and replaced his old engine work with…  _ whatever _ nonsense Gem ships run on, fuel hasn’t really been a concern as long as he keeps the old girl from getting too banged up.

(Is he still salty about Pearl rooting the guts of his car without asking? Perhaps. Is he going to complain about the space upgrade?  _ Not particularly. _ )

There’s  _ roads _ on Asgard, of course, and room  _ for _ cars. But the rampant foot traffic of old stone ground is a bit more than he feels like handling at the 4 miles per hour he’ll likely have to sit through if he pushes it. 

So, instead, he parks his old van outside this sort of marketplace area and does his usual thing- take out a chair and leave his guitar case open as he plays. He doesn’t really know what the busking is like in Asgard, and he’s not really hurting for cash, but hey- he might get a few space coins to spice up his quarter collection.

“Um, sir?” a young lady shyly walks up to him. “I think your horse got stolen.”

“What horse?”

“For your cart, sir.” She looks around at the front of his van. “The horse is gone.”

“Oh, this old beauty?” He fondly pats the door. “She’s never needed horses. She runs right on her own power, always has.”

“ _ Spellcraft _ ,” the girl whispers. “Are you a  _ seidrmadr _ ?”

“Well,  _ no _ -”

“Hey there,” another voice calls, “did you lose your horse?”

Greg sighs.  _ Oh boy. _

=<>=

“Child,” Wolf whispers with his Coral.

“Pubby,” Morion responds.

“I want the food things from the market,” Wolf goes on. “But we don’t have money.”

Morion points at the money bags the aesir carry.

“I do not have hands, child. And stealing is wrong.”

Morion waves and kneads his own hands in offering.

“A fair point.” Wolf blinks. “Maybe if we only take  _ one _ money from each person, it will not be stealing. What do you think?”

“Uhh…” Morion frowns, obviously pondering the moral weight of the crimes they are about to commit with intense thought. “Take more from bad people.”

Wolf raises his head with a mock growl. “BRILLIANT-”

=<>=

After letting himself be inspired by the new environment (and making sure to record the new sounds), Greg takes a short break.

“I’m sorry,” a passing dwarf (or was it dvergr?) disbelievingly asks, “are you  _ drinking from a can? _ ”

“Yeah?” Greg waves his empty soda can slightly. “This stuff’s pretty common back where I’m from.”

The dvergr eyes the tab of the can. “I’ve never  _ heard _ of this kind of opening mechanism before.” They eye the rest of the pack. “I’ll take your entire stock. I would like to study it.”

“ _ Woah there _ , you don’t have to-” 

Clearly not taking no for an answer, a large bundle of coins is shoved into his hand.

“Alright then,” Greg wheezes, “have fun, I guess.”

=<>=

Elsewhere, a group of people is so busy petting a red wolf that they don’t notice the tiny hands rooting through their coin purses.

=<>=

An older man squints at Greg’s air bed. “So this is a bed. That simply expands? And you can put it on the ground.”

“Yep. God knows I got a lot of mileage out of this bad boy. Been a while since I’ve needed it, though-”

“How much?”

_ Not again. _

=<>=

Steven openly frowns at the van’s trunk. “I have never seen that thing so empty and yet so full of stuff at the same time. What happened?”

“People wanted my stuff more than I did and I was too polite to refuse.” Greg shrugs from under a loose jacket that he definitely didn’t own the previous day. “Besides, I can always replace everything when we get home.”

“Fair enough.”

=<>=

Wolf leans his head on the butcher’s counter.

“No,” the lady says, “I don’t have any scrap for you.”

He vigorously shakes his head and coins fall out of his fur. “Give us the meat!” he demands.

“...How are you talking-”

“THE MEAT!”

“Meat!” Morion slaps at Wolf’s fur. “Give us the meat!”

“THE MEAT-”

* * *


	59. A Court Of Impulse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor doesn't mean to but he does.

* * *

It’s less about a good wedding gift (or rather, _coronation gift_ ) and more about making the best impression on the other guests- and the new Allfather.

At least that’s the vibe Connor is getting, considering the kind of stuff people are giving Thor. There’s this weird emphasis on how _exclusive_ and _rare_ and _expensive_ these things are, the pointed glances of the presenters judging the audience's reactions just as much as the king’s approval.

There’s a lot of gold involved, too, and not quite in a money sort of way. It’s different from how Connor’s seen humans value gold- there’s still that greedy shine but it’s _warped_ all strange in the eyes of the aesir, not unlike how Gems eye ichor. (Might do good to ask Locks about it sometime. Maybe it had to do with why Thor dyed his hair?)

_Pomp and circumstance_ , as Az might call it. (He would also call it _dull and wasteful_ , but not in public- it pays to be polite.) Something about _politics_ and _leaving an impression_ and trying to vie for favor of someone they know nothing about as a ruler. (This is why Az takes care of that side of things.)

Well, at least he knew that he was bringing _easily_ the best gift of the guests. _The fun kind._

One might even call it _ram-_ bunctious _._

It does _grate_ to have to listen to all these other pompous fucks and their endlessly euphemistic allusions to events and titles he doesn’t care enough to know about, but cut him some slack- he at least knows enough to let them go first and piece out what the _proper etiquette_ is supposed to be. (He really should've listened when Thor was explaining all of this.)

Besides, he practically fought for the rights to be presenting his gifts instead of let Az do the talking as he apparently usually did. This was _his_ friend and damn if he wouldn't give him his present personally. So Connor’s going to at least make an attempt to play along with the politics, just this once.

And _hopefully_ not get stage fright. It would suck to find out that was a thing he had right this second, and he especially hates Cinna specifically wishing him luck in _not_ having it, because now it’s making him _think about it,_ _and now he's over thinking it-_

_Or we could just think about punching her in the throat after this._

**How unusually violent of you, brother.**

_Maybe I’m just feelin’ it. You don’t know me._

**Don’t I?**

_Or maybe you rubbed off on me._

**Unfortunate.**

_You said it, not me-_

His internal conversation is cut short. Someone's gently shaking him. Apparently now he had to pay attention. 

**I blame you for this.**

_I blame_ **_you_ ** _for this._

**Or we could just blame Cinna.**

_Correct. When in doubt, it's usually Cinna._

It’s fine. He doesn’t care about everyone else there, he cares about _Thor._ No one’s really expecting much more than that, and for once he’s glad that he _isn’t_ expected to do more. That’s officially a problem for the other Diamonds, and probably Lars specifically. Maybe. Lars _is_ the head of the trade fleet, after all. (Heh. He should drop by to ~~scare~~ see him later on.)

Oh, right. He's supposed to be paying attention. What's happening now?

… _Joy_ . Someone’s being _weird_ and calling Thor handsome. What is it with people trying to call their bosses pretty? Maybe he should ask Az, he's probably seen such bullshit before. Or maybe it’s just a king thing. Who can say? Certainly not he.

Oh, it's his turn now.

_Well we don’t have time to unpack all_ **_that._ **

**We’ve got a** **_show_ ** **to put on, haven’t we?**

_We've goat one alright._

“Your Majesty,” Connor manages, trying not to smile _too_ much.

“Your Umbrance,” Thor evenly replies, the corner of his mouth ticked up with an aborted grin. _So we_ **_both_ ** _agree the formality’s stupid. Good to know._

Connor keeps his arms open, his expression sarcastically chastened with mock humility. “Your Majesty knows well enough that Gemkind has never put much thought to things like luxury and money, and that’s certainly never changed. So, I’m sorry to say that _our_ gifts may not strike the same chord as the ones that came before it.”

Thor bows his head a little, lifting his palms to the air. His face is blank, but Connor knows that shake in his shoulders. He's cracking up. "It is indeed known. Whatever your tribute may be, it shall be taken with dignity."

“For which I am _exceedingly_ thankful,” Connor replies with exaggerated grace. “Which isn’t to say our gifts are small, just… _different_ .” With _this,_ he lets the smile cross his face. “Just so we’re all on the same page.”

  
  


Sif looks between the two with an altogether unimpressed raised brow at their antics.

That’ll change soon enough, he thinks.

The sharp whistle that crosses his song is just for show- he’s never needed sound to reach Wolf no matter how far apart they are, but Wolf had _insisted_ on the theatrics this time around. (He'd been very insistent since getting his voice, _period_.)

Right on cue, Wolf crackles into existence out of the fiery gates of his usual warping, soaking in the surprise of the crowd for a moment, his fur shifting and glowing with the breeze of his own magic.

The crowd's collective gasp was almost worth it by itself, _but they weren't done yet._ From Wolf’s back flies three birds- well, birds as far as _this_ crowd knew.

Thank fuck for Az’s sudden dinosaur phase last summer.

The microraptors flap around the heads of the guests a few times before coming to sit down on the throne, as hoped. (One decides she likes Sif's crown- While her perch is quickly shifted out from under her, she never moves her eye from the circlet.)

“What manner of bird is this?” Thor asks as he strokes at the shining black feathers. “I’ve never seen their ilk in all my years.”

“You never would have gotten the chance, I’m afraid. Their kind died out eons ago- these three are lucky accidents, frozen in time.” Connor cocks his head. “They’re no ravens, of course, but they’re just as clever- and every Allfather should have their birds, don’t you think?”

"They're marvelous specimens- I thank you, Your Umbrance, for your thoughtful gesture." Thor smiles himself as one of the creatures begins preening itself on his shoulder. "I shall have them embroidered and put upon the wall of tapestries next to that of Huginn and Muninn."

“Of course, that’s not all we have to offer.” Connor looks down to Wolf, and Wolf, _the absolute showoff_ , decides to _bow_ to Thor for this next one. Though in the case of this gift, it’s not a frivolous gesture, it’s a _runway-_ a runway for the two-faced goat that leaps out of him, almost as red and massive as Wolf himself.

The crowd? Absolutely shocked. Thor? _Absolutely fucking delighted._

"Ho, a _wonderful_ beast!" Thor beams, rising to his feet with a clap of his hands as he inspects it.

“Thanks, I made it myself,” Connor deadpans. “Well, sort of. Found this guy as a kid just south of the Sky Spire and when I healed him up a bit to see how he’d fare, he ended up like Wolf."

Thor grins wider, rubbing his chin. "So it has storage and transportation, as well?”

“An immortal friend to take you anywhere you want as quick as a trot.” Which isn’t to say Connor’s _bragging_ about it (okay, maybe a bit), but he thinks he did pretty well. “You look out for him, he’ll look out for you.” He leans forward with a whisper. “ _There’s also a bit of an extra secret but I’ll tell you about that later. Wouldn’t want to make_ _all_ _the tricks public, now would I?_ "

Thor just chuckles, holding out his hand for Connor to shake. "These are handsome creatures you've brought, Your Umbrance. I shall be delighted to see them within my walls and have them in my company."

“There’s still _one_ more thing.” Connor lets himself have a quick laugh. “I’m sure it’s already quite a lot at this point, but this one’s small, I promise. No more surprises.”

This one, Connor had kept with himself. It’s not that big of a deal, really. Probably even out of place compared to the other ones.

It just felt right, is all.

“You’ve probably gotten far too many clothes today, _but_ -” Connor presents the cloak in his hands, “-I was thinking of something a little more long lasting than a shirt.”

=<>=

By all accounts, it looks like a plain, heavy cloak- nothing ornate. It’s the _material_ that matters, as far as Thor can tell. Odd and subtle and soft, almost like...

“Chroma,” Connor answers Thor’s unspoken question. “It will never fade, never lose its weight, and it will always fit whoever wears it. You could turn into a bear and it’d still fit you like a glove."

“A fitting traveler’s companion,” Thor notes.

“You are a king,” Connor concedes, “but you were a warrior first. If I was ever going to give you something, it would be something you could _use_.”

Thor slips it on, testing its heft and give, and sits back down. It's the Allfather who looks back from the throne.

=<>=

Just this once, Steven was a little too relieved for the relative ignorance of the crowd, because that was not a simple piece of clothing.

That was a _cloak_ , a _Gem_ cloak. Heavy, tight knit chroma rendered in rich red cerise, and _oh boy howdy_ , he could _feel_ the way the other Diamonds shifted their gazes with interest. (Ugh. He would be hearing about this next meeting.)

This is… _fine_ . Not the smartest move, but harmless in present company- as far as the Asgardian crowd will know, it was just another gift, a piece of the coveted Gem textiles that so rarely reach the outside world. They won't know what it _means._

_And from the stunt he just pulled,_ **_Connor_ ** _doesn’t either._

 **Consciously, at least. The** **_intent_ ** **was just the same.**

_We’ll have to talk about this._

**Extensively.**

_Privately._

**Later, perhaps.**

_If we don’t talk about it_ **_now_ ** _, he’s bound to do it again. And it may not be so harmless the second time._

“Did I…” Connor’s eyes shift nervously at the way Steven tugs him aside. "Did I do something wrong?"

“Not- not _exactly_ , just-” Steven sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “-that wasn’t exactly a smart thing to do in _public_ , Connor.”

“Do what? I thought we had to give all our gifts publically?”

“You gave Thor _clothes._ You gave him cerise, _red cerise._ You gave him _your colors._ ”

Connor blinks, not quite grasping his meaning. "His old cloak was red, I just wanted to give him something I thought he'd wear."

Steven crosses his arms. “And I’m sure you _weren’t_ trying to _court him_.”

Connor sputters, a predictable red line crossing his face. “He’s my friend! I like him! You didn’t have a problem with me courting _Cinna_.”

_"Cinna isn't foreign royalty, Connor."_ Steven tents his hands in front of his face, sucking in a long breath and rubbing his eyes. “Listen- it’s- _very sweet_ that your court instinct is strong enough to extend to non-Gems, that isn’t a bad thing, but please think about what that would have _looked like_ if all those people had known any better.” He gestures back to the crowd they’ve drifted away from. “He has his own court, too, Connor. If you court him and he’s _yours_ , what'll happen here, to them, to _his?_ He hasn’t even been king for a full day and now a foreign power comes and _claims ownership of him_ … and thus, by extension, his kingdom."

The diamonds of Connor’s eyes turn to crosshairs. “I didn’t mean it like that,” he quickly mutters, head bowing and hands wringing together.

“I know you didn’t,” Steven gently states, “and that’s why I’m telling you now. We got lucky because they didn’t know what it meant, but that’s not something you can pull twice. And _Thor_ didn’t know what it meant either, did he?"

“... I’m sorry.” Connor looks aside. “I’m sorry, I won’t do that again.”

“Hey.” Steven pats Connor’s face. “I’m not saying you can’t be as Diamond as you feel like for your friends. I’m just saying to be less risky about it- be aware of the actions you take and the situations they make.” He jostles Connor’s head for good measure. “And _tell Thor about it_ , for song’s sake. He deserves to know what he just received. You gave him a _good_ thing, but he deserves to know."

The taller Gem swallows, glancing back over to where Thor was in the crowd- with a slight thrill, finding him easily as he was still wearing the cloak- before nodding. "A-Alright, Az. I'll try."

“Good!” With nothing more to add, Steven pulls back and claps Connor on the shoulder. “It’s all cleared up, be safe, nobody got in trouble. Now we’re supposed to be at a party! Have fun, don’t get too drunk-”

“The fuck do you take me for, _you?_ ”

“I resent that remark. Don’t get too drunk, and try not to stab anyone. _Not even Thor.”_

"Aww,” Connor mockingly whines, “but he's gonna start it-"

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> connor: haha i'm gonna stab thor  
> loki pulling out a knife: you FOOL


	60. In My Defense, Blame My Wife

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven has a fun night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Accessibility warning for vision or reading impaired: this chapter contains passages with exotic formatting. These are deliberate stylistic choices and are not intended to be visually/verbally coherent.

* * *

Maybe Connor had a point about Steven getting drunk at parties.

Maybe.

Probably.

In his defense, he doesn’t actually recall drinking anything, at least with the intent of  _ letting _ himself get drunk. He was completely game for snacking on desserts, making sure no one else did anything too diplomatically damaging, and maybe not sleeping tonight. He was not walking into this coronation party intending to  _ get bent _ , as Dad might have said.

Unfortunately,  _ he feels a bit less than sober at the moment. _

Minutely bent.

_ Acutely _ bent.

Just a tad.

_ Maybe. _

**What happened here??**

_ It’s very sweet that you think I know how this happened any more than you do. _

**Well maybe I just love you.**

_ Only maybe? I’m hurt. _

**What are you, a Zircon?**

_ No, I'm drunk. What are you? _

And now he’s giggling at his own internal monologue like some kind of  _ child _ , because apparently _ that’s just the vibe right now. _

He should probably be a bit concerned as to  _ why,  _ but strangely he was not. (Perhaps  _ that _ should be concerning. Oh well.)

_ It’s  _ **_fine_ ** . It’s fine… he’s just gonna.... have a sit-down over there-

“ _ Aaaay, _ Stevennn,” Lars staggers over, “get over ‘ere for a sec, I gotta-'' Without even finishing his sentence, Lars just pulls Steven over and kisses him.“ ‘Ere… M’ch bett’r…”

Lars then simply walks off, slightly steadier than before, leaving Steven smiling after him like some kind of dope and  _ isn’t that funny _ , he feels slightly  _ more _ drunk than he already did.

Might be related somehow. 

_ Hmmm. _

Probably.

Considering that exact scenario has happened several times over the last few hours, from  _ both  _ his partners.

Weird.

_ Conniving criminal cuties. _

The freckles on his hands are suddenly  _ very _ interesting right now. What even  _ is _ skin? Cells? What’s that?  _ Why _ is that? Why can’t everything just be single-celled organisms it seems like it would be easier and there are several species that prove such creatures can exist in varying size  _ how did mitochondria even get in there that’s just really weird how did we even come to be  _ **_why can’t we just return to monkeys_ ** _ - _

“- _ And _ you’re drunk.”

_ What gave it away? _

Steven cranes his head up (and up and up and  _ up _ ) and  _ hey _ , it’s Jasper. Jasper’s… big. Or something.  _ Boofy! _

“Ja _ a _ **a** sper, hiii _ iiii _ .” He’s- he can stand up just fine. The fact that he’s vaguely crashing into her chest has nothing to do with anything, no one can prove this. She’s just comfy. And soft. And warm. And Jasper. Mmmm, maybe nappe would be in order…

“Aren’t you supposed to be more responsible than this?” She’s frowning, but like- she  _ always _ does that. That’s just her face. If she was mad she would punch him, and that hasn’t happened yet so it’s  _ fiii _ **_iiiiiine_ ** .

“ _ Hehehehehehehehe _ .” She always made that face. It was a nice face. (A boopable face.) “I love you, tooooo.” He boops her pretty cheek. “It’s… ‘s okay when you don’ say ‘t back. Know it scares you. I still…”

“ _ Oooookay _ , you’re getting maudlin, you really  _ are _ drunk.” Haha, she’s  _ blushing.  _ That’s not a common look.  _ I love you I loved you I love you still- _ “How much did you even drink?"

“Funny story, that,” he unsteadily laughs, swaying a bit. “I don’t t-think I  _ have  _ had anything to drink. ‘Sides C’nnie and Stars reaally wantin’ kiss me alot. Do you?”

A silence.

“I’m going to kill them,” Jasper flatly promises.

“ _ Nooooooo _ …  _ My emotional support humans...” _

“Okay, fine. I’ll only kill them a little bit.”

“That’s nice, sweetie…” Wow, her jacket is nice to knead.  _ Mmmmmmm kneads mmmmm somfte. _

And now there’s big arms marching him around? That’s probably fine. Jasper’s fine. Jasper’s big and okay and strong and pretty and safe  _ haha  _ **what would happen if he just-**

“Nope, nope, don’t do that, you still gotta walk,” Jasper gently scolds. (She’s being weird and  _ soft _ , she’s  _ never _ soft,  _ I love it, I love you I loved you I love you still.) _

And everything’s all sharp but also blurry? Which is  _ wild-  _ it’s almost like being in the lapistary- lapis- lapidid- lapidary and everything’s all hazy n’  _ f o c u s e d _ all at once

PINK

“Oh hey St _ arrrrrrs _ ,” he drawls as he leans on Japser- JASPER, “you come here of’en?”

Lars lifts up his hat like it’ll make him see better (even though it’s  _ n _ **_ight_ ** , that’s silly) and he’s doing that cute, lopsided squint his face does. “What in the fuck happened to  _ you? _ ”

“Jasssper says it’s  _ your _ fault!” Steven singsongs.

“I never said that,” Jasper corrects. She clears her throat. “ _ It’s your fault _ . Now I’ve said it.”

Steven giggles, eyes lolling lazily around.  _ “She said it.” _

“There’s no way _ I _ got you this fuck-off plastered,” Lars denies, lying like some kind of liar.

“Haha,  _ yeah _ .” Steven falls back into Jasper (big). “It’s  _ boooth _ of you. Connie st’rted it. She’s the  _ masterm’nd.” _ He attempts a tap on his forehead, but ends up missing and hitting his hair instead, and then becoming too enamored with the fluffiness to do anything else for a moment.

“Then it’s Connie’s fault, obviously.”

“It’s your fault too, clod,” Jasper insists. “Help me find her.”

Lars groans loudly, gulping up the last of his drink. “ _ Fine. _ ”

“Oh, don’t sound so excited.”

And now there’s more walking (walking is fun he can walk forever what’s a car he’s never heard of it  _ wait how is he thinking about it if he never heard of it- _ ) and Lars is Also there? With them?  _ Incredible _ . Such a lad. A lovely lad. Mmmm he should let him knooooow.

“Sof,” he insists as he pats Lars’ hair. “Sof boi.  _ Good boi. _ ”

Lars laughs, letting him. “Yeah, whatever you say, _ mahal ko _ .”

_ He  _ **_loooves_ ** _ me. _

Steven  _ beams _ , cheeks all a-flush and a cheery light in those dark eyes. “I say! Good boi!”

“Oh my god, you are such a weird drunk.”

“Tha’ss prob’ why I don’ drink.”

What were they even doing? It was…. they was…  _ uuuuuuuuuuuuuh Connie. _

They were going to see Connie? Jasper. Jassss knows. She always knows.

“Are drunk people always this stupid or should I be worried?” Jasper asks Lars. 

“It be like that sometimes.”

“I have no idea what you just said.”

They’re getting along! That’s  _ adorb-adord-ardora-adorable.  _

**My loves** _....  _

_ Talking. _

**Loves they.**

“Holy shit! Steven, are you okay?”  _ Hey, how’d Connie get here? Now alllllll the loves are here. _

“C’nnn _ nnnnieeeeee!” _ He smiles, waving vigorously at her. “Hiiiiiiiii.”

“Jasper said it’s your fault,” Lars lies (like a liar).

“I never said that.” She leans over to look Connie in the eye. “It’s your fault. Now I’ve said it.”

Steven wheezes, clutching his stomach.  _ “She said it again!” _

“How is this my fault?”

“Because  _ somebody _ ,” Lars squints pointedly at Connie, “had the bright idea to use Steven as a sobriety hack, and now he’s bent like a crazy straw.”

“...You did the exact same thing, didn’t you.”

“ _ Blasphemy. Lies. Deceit.  _ Also yes, totally.” Lars waves it off. “But it’s also totally more your fault.” Haha, the loves are  _ fighting... _

Jasper facepalms. “Idiots, all of you.” A pause. “Not you,  _ my. _ ”

“Haha, o _ kay _ ,” Steven accepts with a dizzy thumbs up.

Connie snorts. “Okay, so who’s escorting Mr. Peterson back home?”

“You two drunks got him into this. You take him to bed or I will.”

“At least buy me  _ dinner _ first,  _ my _ .” Steven leans wide-eyed into Jasper’s arms. “Wh’t would the other Diamonds say?”

Lars cracks up. “I have taught you well, I have.”

“They’d want to know what dinner  _ was _ , Steven.” Connie deadpans, grinning at the scene.

“Oh  _ yeaaaaaaah. _ ”

“Stop gossiping like Pearls and get moving before somebody notices, idiots.”

Someone(?) is pushing him along- might be Jasper, might be Connie, they’re both really strong,  _ ver stronge, lovvvvv shesss _ . And then he’s being… carried, probably, and all the weird hazy-not-hazy whatever that was around them Stopped Being Around and  _ hey, it’s those fly-by-nights again, he hasn’t seen  _ **_those_ ** _ spooky ghost butterfly guys in a while, that’s probably n o t g o o d _

Soft. Is soft, they aren’t moving anymore (they haven’t for a while?) and Jasper’s…  _ where’s- _

Hands. Long, callused fingers on sword-carved hands, he knows those hands. He trusts those hands. So he leans into them, tiredly trilling into the touch and hearing the soft laugh next to him, it’s… nice.  _ Safe.  _ And the low voice drily answering that laugh, that’s safe too.

(The butterflies, they come and go at the corners of his vision, encroaching further and further into his line of sight until the world goes black again under their beating wings-)

Someone smooths his mussed hair and says  _ go back to sleep, sweetheart. _

So he does.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> steven waking up between lars and connie with no context: this is the opposite of a problem


	61. Socialite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's important to find people like yourself.

* * *

Loki is being stared at. She can tell.

Of course, some  _ aesir _ stares were nothing new- many had gone their entire lives without seeing a jotunn, and here she was dressed far finer than they ever would have expected from  _ barbaric frost giants _ .

It’s just that the  _ other _ jotunn are staring as well. Have been the whole night, really.

Is it her dress? Shoulderless dresses aren’t exactly…  _ traditional _ , she knows, but she thought the green suited her nicely, especially with the sheer black draping she framed over it. Or maybe it’s the ring-style opera gloves. She’s never really  _ seen _ a jotunn wear gloves before, now that she thinks about it.

It could be the diamond-shaped pin she put on her draping ( _ she thought it might be a funny little thing, just to poke at her lot in life, it’s not exactly a declaration of allegiance _ ) or maybe her horn rings are wrong, or-

(Maybe it’s because she’s a jotunn that isn’t part of their delegation, maybe it’s nothing.)

...or maybe it’s just  _ her _ .

Loki Ransom Liesmith. Bony and fragile and clumsy and  _ small _ . Tripping over her toe claws on a good day and flash-freezing whole auditoriums on a bad one.

She was never  _ ugly _ as an aesir man, but she was never  _ handsome _ , at least in the way she was encouraged to be. Not with the ink-black of her hair, the slightness of her frame, the pale verdigris of her blood that was always taken for a  _ tainted fading copper _ in comparison to the more golden,  _ purer _ blood of her ‘brothers’.

It would be a cruel joke to know she was mediocre from one world to the next, but life was rarely so kind.

And now one of them’s walking  _ towards _ her.  _ Lovely _ .

She could probably run off elsewhere. It would be easy enough to disappear into the party, or simply back into the castle walls that no one knew better. But then the jotunn delegation would have  _ questions _ later about the unaccounted for stranger they had seen, and that wouldn’t do at all. No, better to stand her ground for now. She sighs, settling her expression into something more accommodating.

A tall strong-faced lady and a shorter, softer lord. She seems to be another ice jotunn while the man appears otherwise- a sea jotunn, perhaps.

“What a peculiar ornament you’ve chosen,” the lady’s chilling voice whispers, grey eyes all too mindful of Loki’s diamond pin. “Especially in our present company. Where did you get such a gift, young maid?”

“More importantly, where did you  _ come _ from?” the lord interrupts. “There’s no other jotunns here, but you certainly didn’t arrive with us.”

“Try not to harass the trespassers, love. She’s only having fun, surely.”

_ Well,  _ _ excuse me _ _ , princess.  _ “I assure you, my lady, I am not a trespasser. I…”  _ Was taken hostage as a child and raised in this castle for all my life. _ “...came with another entourage. The Gem Empire sends their well wishes to the new Allfather and his subjects.”

“The  _ Diamonds _ .” The lady hums neutrally. “Allfather Thor certainly has a habit of peculiar allies. I suppose I can’t criticize it- it’s how we’re standing here peacefully in the first place.”

“But that alliance has been awfully recent,” the lord notes. “ _ Far _ too recent for any jotunn to have emigrated without our notice.”

“I was… not raised among jotunn,” Loki vaguely concedes. “Supposedly I was abandoned as a child for being too small.”

“How odd.” The lady leans forward, squinting slightly as she appraises Loki’s form. “You seem perfectly healthy for- how old are you now?”

“-Ten hundred and forty-eight, my lady.”

“A bit short for a jotunn, but perfectly fine.” She tilts her head. “I wager you must have some  _ mixed _ blood, though. A wind jotunn, perhaps.”

_ That’s… certainly something to file away for later.  _ “I must seem odd to you, Your Graces,” Loki softly apologizes. “Forgive me if I come across as unsightly.”

“Not at all!” the lord insists. “You’re very handsome for a lady of your age- far from unsightly. I should think you’ll grow to be quite beautiful.”

“That’s very kind,” Loki quietly thanks. “I’ve been a bit rude,” she realizes. “I never gave my name. Loki Liesmith, if you please.”

“An apt name,” the lady lightly laughs. “We are Skadi and Njordr, heads of house Mjǫll and presiders over Jotunheim. After Laufey’s death, his seat fell to us.”

_ Probably in poor taste to admit  _ _ I _ _ killed Laufey.  _ “Oh dear. Dreadful circumstances indeed."

Njordr waves it off with a flippant hand. “Ah, he was a cunt anyway. Only lasted as long as he did because he was a big  _ war hero _ from back in the day and never had an heir to succeed him.”

_ Funny, that.  _ “Really? That’s most surprising to hear- I was under the impression that he, like most kings, would have preferred his ilk to continue ruling.”

“It was a bit odd, honestly.” Njordr strokes his beard- curling and white like seafoam. “Felt like he’d go on forever, but I think he got a bit touched in the head after his wife died. Never got over it- even took on her  _ name _ to remember her. Used to call himself Farbauti before the war. Quite frankly,” He lowers his voice, leaning in a little, “I wouldn’t be surprised to find that she died in childbirth. He never said and, as you mentioned, it  _ is  _ odd that he never produced a child.”

“ _ You’re _ being chattier than usual,” Skadi looks to her husband with raised brows.

He shrugs. “It’s only common knowledge, isn’t it? Besides, it’s only right to keep Loki here educated on her history. Can’t imagine you got much of it, living outside Jotunheim, as it were.”

“For a while, it was taught in my childhood that the ice jotunn were on the brink of extinction,” Loki admits. “I only learned otherwise very recently. It was… revealing, to say the least.”

Skadi grimaces. “ _ Hopefully  _ this new alliance will fix much of the slander that has been spread about our people. What do you make of him- The new Allfather?”

_ He was my brother, until he wasn’t.  _

Of course, she can’t say something so impulsive. Her past is her own, as kindly as these two seem to be on the surface. But nonetheless, here they are, asking for  _ her _ council where countless others have distrusted and dismissed it.

“I knew him some time before he took the crown,” Loki carefully starts, resisting the urge to scratch her wrist. “He’s  _ young _ more than anything else- but in that sense he’s far more willing to  _ learn _ than his predecessors. I have hope that he will at the very least  _ try  _ and do right by those around him. The very fact that you and I are here,  _ welcomed, _ perhaps even  _ respected _ , speaks volumes in it of itself.”

“That it  _ does _ ,” Skadi admits. “He’s certainly full of all sorts of forward thinking, isn’t he?”

“Down to his wardrobe,” Njordr good-naturedly adds. “I think he might be the first aesir to realize there’s more eye-paints than black. Asgard will be a rainbow of colors the next time we see it."

Internally, Loki can’t help but pat herself on the back.  _ Those were my colors, hah!  _ “Perhaps then the nation shall live up to her bridge?” She quips, laughing.

“Norns, could you imagine?” Skadi snorts. “Wait a few decades and perhaps the Allfather will start sporting a rainbow cloak to match.”

“Or a  _ beard _ ,” Her husband jovally includes.

Loki can’t help but smile at the image. “Well, he’s certainly adept with his dyes, so if anyone ever were to sport such a flamboyant visage, it would be him.”

“A shame you hadn’t come with us,” Njordr grins. “We can’t steal you back to Jotunheim  _ now,  _ can we?”

“Do try to visit, though,” Skadi adds. “Jotunheim is  _ far _ from the grim, frigid isolation it appears to be from the outside. The spring bloom is truly a sight to behold- and  _ besides _ , it wouldn’t hurt to enter some individual diplomacy with your Diamonds, as well. We can’t let Asgard do all the thinking for us, can we?”

“Certainly not, my lady. You have to keep the young king on his toes!”

“Then I think we’ll get along just fine, Loki.”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> skadi and njordr are Canon Norse Gods.  
> funnily enough, skadi was first used as a name for a male god before being used Ever Since in reference to a goddess, while the inverse happened to njordr- first attributed to a female name but then listed as a god. i imagine their FADIAMT counterparts are trans.
> 
> (skadi was the goddess of skiing, And That's Amazing. we stan our trans skii queen)
> 
> one more Norse Fact- laufey is the name of loki's _mother_ in norse mythology, while his father was farbauti. i thought it was odd that marvel made laufey his father.


	62. The King's Ring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor's first bout.

* * *

“How has your progress been?”

“Minimal, unfortunately.” Deinä’s wooden face warps into a slight frown. “There’s been no real  _ findings _ \- just traces here and there, like the edges of a weed in comparison to the root. I’d be hard-pressed to even call it  _ progress. _ ” Her fingers click lightly against the table. “There have been concentrations of wild aether, but no clear location of  _ the _ Aether thus far. It’s enough to begin reconstruction, but only at the barest level. Most of our numbers continue to remain in stasis.”

“I am sorry to hear it,” Thor sincerely offers. “I wish I could do more to help.”

“There’s not much any one of us can do but bide our time,” the Alfeneel sighs. “ _ Although _ ,” she glances back to him with a shrewd eye, “there may be one thing we could do.”

“And what, pray tell, might that be?” Thor raises his brow, suspicious of the look.

“You might allow our scouting ships to travel freely through the Nine Realms. Wherever the Aether currently lies, its wild manifestation is everywhere. We want it for obvious reasons, but these fragments will become dangerous if left unchecked, and we  _ are _ the only ones with the technology to contain it safely.”

“Hmm. I see your point- however, unfortunately, it’s not all up to me once you start going that far out.” The Allfather rubs his forehead, going through his internal list. “I’ll probably have to schedule a meeting with some of the other heads in order to sanction that much reach.”

“We do not ask for immediate results, Allfather. Your efforts are enough as they are.” A sober tone enters her voice. “But we are running out of time. The Convergence approaches in the coming months, and we  _ must _ contain the Aether by that time. If we do not, it could lash out in unpredictable ways.”

Thor purses his lips, strumming his fingers on his jaw. “Perhaps it would be best if  _ you  _ came to said meeting, as well. After all, I’m sure that your stance will seem much more compelling- and the threat all the more dangerous- if they were to hear it from your own lips.” He hums. “Besides, it might also do well for your folk and theirs to have some time to interact prior to a sudden entourage of Alfeneel they don’t know how to handle- which could be messy. Perhaps it would even begin the integration process of your people into the grander picture, both in trade and in external affairs.”

“A fair judgement,” Deinä accepts, lightly inclining her head. “Though it may not be  _ me _ that attends,” she warns. “I was never meant to be caught in foreign affairs for so long, and Malekith has become increasingly invested in taking the matter into his own hands. He may very well decide to attend personally.”

“If that is the case,” he replies, looking back up to meet her gaze, “Then I should like to meet with him beforehand, if that is possible. After all, I know your stance and your perspective. I would prefer to be able to do the same with him.”

“I will be sure to pass the message.”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reminder! thor 2 actually still hasn't happened yet, not all the way


	63. I Just Really Like The Cheese

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well if there's no airfare cost...

* * *

**Syota (jk jk)**

Mornin’, Stars.

(tips hat) m’theydy

H A H

(Vendan is laughing.)

[No I’m not.]

(Vendan is laughing.)

Thank you thank you i’m here all week

That being aside-

I was not able to give you good morning

earlier, so here was your late good morning.

Fun

Hey are you free after we get back

Out Of Sheet Curiosity

Sheer

FUC

K

You okay there?

Are you having a moment?

At this rate? probably

BUT MOVING ON

You’re free yeah

Yep!

Could we,,, Perhaps,,, stop by france

On the way back

Have a quick daytrip

I know there’s a settlement in spain so that Shouldn’t be too far away?

Any reason why?

Eh nah

Just sounded neat

...Are you asking me to take y’all on a date?

Mighta been

Fair enough!

* * *

**Talim**

lars why are we going to france

Connie do you NOT want to go to france

sure but Why

Cheese reasons

I mean valid

And also so we can take pointed selfies to send to connor

Because we’re never gonna let him forget about “welcome to france”

W H E E Z E

i am INSTANTLY convinced

Let’s get this baguette

* * *


	64. You Would Have Loved It, If You'd Seen It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor plays catch-up.

* * *

_The Spice Elves don’t talk much._

_Their business is trade, not politics- they’d sooner throw their wares out the harbor than bother speaking to the Allfather. They arrive in Asgard often to haggle coins and crops and spice, but there has never been a need to set foot any further inland than the docks, not since the earliest of Odin’s day._

_That’s changed, apparently._

_A lot of things have._

_It’s not- well, it’s not suspicious, per se, but it is odd, how busy things have gotten these last few days. Father’s advisors always said this period would be a lull in outer affairs- time to rearrange council, formulating the intent of the reign. Other realms were predicted to step away for a while, observing from a distance before attempting diplomacy._

_But things rarely are so easy, are they?_

_It's probably my own fault, really. Being the face of many campaigns, managing civil conflicts throughout the realms. Between that and the unprecedented diversity that I’ve apparently been inciting… perhaps the other realms had been caught off guard._

_Not that I’m saying integration is a bad thing! Communication and care is important, especially with as delicate the balance of power is at the moment. I almost started a war last time, I’m- I’m not exactly keen to start another._

_But things are turning out fine! Really, they are. The Spice Elves’ only concern is trade, as it has always been. The delegate simply wanted information on Gem trade, I only needed to point them to Lars and that was that._

_It’s fine. It’s fine! Things are going… well. A lot of the same old, same old._

_...Father’s retired, and, well-_

_I…_

=<>=

“...I suppose I’m king now,” Thor uneasily laughs. “How about that, brother?”

Baldur says nothing.

“Don’t act so shocked,” Thor snarks anyway. “I was bound to grow up eventually.” He sets his circlet down next to him on the bench as he sits down. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to all this finery, though. You were always better at that. I remember how Mother loved to dress you up. She still does.”

He’d meant to make some joke about Baldur’s clothes- something about how he’s nearly a man but still doted on by Mother- but instead of all the words he could say, Thor really only… _looks at him._

Hodur was right. Baldur nearly was a man, now. His skin is still as gold as it was when he was a child, his hair still as fleece and white as it was when he first fell to sleep, but he is _grown_ \- taller, strong-faced, even like this.

“Look at you,” Thor whispers. “You would have been nearly old enough to wed, now.” He smiles, tucking a stray flower from the bed out of Baldur’s hair. “Not that you’d have trouble finding a bride. Girls always liked you more. Must have been all the flowers.”

He sighs.

“I don’t know if I’ll still have time to visit you,” he admits. “Things have been so _busy_ , and it may stay like that for a while. But Vidar and Vali have come back home, and- and Hodur’s moving back in! They’ll be able to visit you, even if _I_ can’t. Maybe Father will start visiting, too, now that he’s retired.”

Thor places the circlet back on his head, but doesn’t move to stand just yet. Instead, he shuffles his seat closer. (There is no one else to see. He can allow himself this one thing.)

Thor leans down, briefly touching his head to Baldur’s. 

“I miss you every day,” his choked voice wavers, “and I spare every last prayer for your return.”

_My baby brother._

He stands, and with one last look, the Allfather leaves the grove as silent as he found it, with Mjolnir nested in the mistletoe of Baldur’s resting place.

* * *


	65. Untitled Swan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lars doesn't like water birds.

* * *

The swan had been following them for 7 minutes and 38.5 seconds, if anyone was counting. (Maybe Steven. Steven was meticulous like that.)

Lars, on his own end, started timing it 4 minutes and 17 seconds ago. A bit off, but at least it was an admirable estimate.

“Are swans always this big,” Lars asks, “or is Asgard just cursed like that?”

“No, that’s about the right size,” Steven airily replies, as if the prospect of a human sized bird randomly deciding to stalk them wasn’t the most horrifying thing in existence.

Lars is _not_ overreacting. He is _not._

(No, he does not have a bird phobia. What are you, a cop?)

Birds are… _fine._ Probably. They’re kind of annoying, but they annoy everyone equally, so at least it’s funny to watch seagulls harass beach tourists. And for the most part they leave him alone now. Animals didn’t exactly start _hating_ him after he died, but they generally gave him a respectful space now. Maybe it’s the lower body heat, or something’s gone weird about his scent- he never really looked into it.

(Animals like Steven for some reason, though. Well, they like being around him. Lars distinctly remembers Steven getting routinely chased by birds as a kid, even when there wasn’t a scrap of food on him. In retrospect, it might have been a Diamond thing. They’ve all got that weird magnetism.)

But _birds!_ Yeah. That. Lars has no problem with birds.

Waterfowl can get _fucked_ , though.

Ducks? _Can fuck off._ They’re cute _sometimes_ , but then Lars accidentally read too far into the Wikipedia article once and now he hates ducks for reasons he will not elaborate on. 

Geese can _also_ get fucked. More than ducks. Lars would gladly flip off a goose if he wasn’t afraid to lose his fingers. Necky bastards. They hiss and spit and have these weird fucking _teeth on their tongues_ and Lars _hates it_.

Idiot that he was, he thought maybe swans were the exception.

But this creepy Asgardian swan has been following them for about ten minutes now and Lars is realizing he’s a fucking fool.

Swans are like geese but _worse._ Because they’re big. Bigger and neckier and even more soulless looking then geese ever were- because at least when a goose got close enough you could see the sheer insanity in their eyes, but swans just have these _pitch black holes_ in their face that have probably met God and laughed.

The next time someone wonders what the fuck ever happened to dinosaurs, just point at a swan.

Seriously. The longer this bird is following them, the more Lars feels like he’s gonna get mugged or some shit.

And Steven is even more of a fucking fool than Lars is because he absolutely _adores_ the feathered terrorist.

Before Lars can try and warn him off, Steven kneels down for a better look at perfect eye-pecking height. _And_ he’s got grapes to feed the swan. Of course he does. Because an even better idea than daring to be at eye pecking height is actively inviting a bird to peck his hands.

“ _Hello_ ,” Steven trills all sweet, the way he does for Lion. “Such a pretty bird! Absolutely lovely.”

_So this is how I die_ , Lars thinks. _Defending my himbo alien cat boyfriend from a swan._

Though for a prospective murderer, the swan is pretty tame, accepting the grapes with halting, gentle bites and preening from the praise and gentle touches.

Lars does not trust this. He does not trust this one bit.

He (mildly) trusts Steven’s immunity to getting blinded by sudden animal wrath, but Steven would probably still cry if his new bird buddy lasted long enough to betray him.

“Lars, why do you have an airhorn?” _Fuck, he got caught._

“It makes honk noises,” Lars offers. “I wanna see what happens.” Lars kneels down and brandishes the object like a shield. “Let’s dance, fucker.”

The swan tilts its pretty head, blinks gracefully, and bites the airhorn.

“HEY WHAT THE-” Lars doesn’t even get to finish the sentence before the swan takes the horn from his hands and tosses it several feet away. “...Alright then. Fair enough.”

The swan flaps its swings with a gleeful hiss that sounds suspiciously like laughter.

...Wait. 

That’s literal laughter. 

That’s a human nose coming out of that swan.

“I’m glad you’re having fun, Connie,” Steven indulgently smiles.

Lars blinks. Then he takes a deep breath. “Why is Connie a swan?” He looks into the bird’s beady soulless eyes. “Connie, why are you a swan?”

“I won a bet,” she says like that explains anything.

Lars just squints at her.

“I won this feather cloak from a Valkyrie-”

“If you think I wanna know how to be a swan for even five seconds I’m divorcing you.”

“You’d have to marry me first,” she challenges, flaring her wings. “Bitch.”

“Don’t dodge the real question here,” Lars deflects, hoping the blush isn’t obvious on his face. “You were letting Steven dote on you like a pet for a hot second there.”

Connie sticks her head up, wagging her tail feathers. “Maybe I just felt like being doted on.”

“And you!” Lars turns around to point at Steven. “You knew it was Connie and you were feeding her grapes?”

“I love my wife, Lars.”

“Crazy people, all of you. I’ll die a second time and it’ll be all your faults.”

“Aw.” Steven softly bonks his face into Lars’ hair. “We love you too.”

“ _Fuck you._ ”

* * *


	66. The Shovel Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Never say she was demure or shy.

* * *

The beloved (and sole) wife of one Sunrose Diamond is named Adya Maheswaran.

Adya is…  _ small _ . Not small by any human standard- she’s actually tall for a human woman as far as Thor can tell, the same height as Lars. But she is thoroughly  _ dwarfed _ by Connor, barely making it up to their shoulders. It’s a strange sort of thing.

She does not scream of strength or danger, not in the way of other humans who kept Diamond company. Even that older human bard had a  _ gravitas _ to him, a charisma in his theatrical skill undercut with wistful melancholy.

Adya does not have these things at a glance. She is wide-eyed and  _ soft _ , soft in the drape of her dress, the scarf so many sizes too big it hangs like a shawl, the resting smile in her spectacled face.

A lovely wife at the side of any nobleman, surely, but an odd choice for Connor. They didn’t strike Thor as that kind of Gem. They were not the kind of person to care for beauty, to see something  _ desirable _ in softness the way a more traditional man might.

The pair were clearly taken with each other, but Thor couldn’t help but be a little bit confused as to  _ why _ .

At first.

“You two are good friends, aren’t you.” She might have phrased it like a question, but she spoke it like a fact. “Connor wouldn’t let just  _ anyone _ stay at his house, even for one night.”

“Connor has been... a good friend,” Thor slowly replies. “Both as a fellow soldier and as a fellow ruler. I am more than thankful for their companionship, especially in these recent times.”

“Gems are loyal like that,” she vaguely replies. “It’s a terrifying thing.”

“I suppose it is,” Thor concedes. “But it is equally admirable, I think.”

“It is. So I hope you stay a good and honest friend like you always have. For your own sake.” 

She smiles. 

“I think it will be very easy for you. You seem like a nice person. That’s good.” Adya tilts her head sweetly, curling her fingers around her cane, and only then does Thor notice that she was never holding a cane at all, but a  _ warhammer _ . “I will not need to kill you in your sleep over simple misunderstanding.”

“Is that a threat?”

“Only if you let it be.” A silence lingers. “I’m kidding,” she laughs. “I’m kidding. I would never.”  (The hand still curled around her hammer says otherwise.)

“I can see how the two of you get along so well,” Thor says instead.

“That’s very kind of you. I can see why  _ you two  _ get along so well.” She smiles brightly. “Good luck with your other appointment! My wife is frighteningly precise with his time.”

“I suppose there’s no need to tell them you’ve been here,” Thor guesses.

“Gossip about me all you like,” she shrugs as she leaves. “Just be nice.”

“As you wish, my lady.”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thor: hey entirely hypothetical question but has your wife killed anyone  
> Connor: not to my knowledge, why  
> Thor: oh. Yknow. Just checking  
> Thor: ((anxiety))


	67. Courted, With Clarity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diamonds _collect._ Such is their nature.

* * *

"I can see why you like her."

Connor turns their head as Thor walks inside the office, a small smile on their face. "Howdy, stranger. I assume you met Adya?"

"Indeed. She certainly seems a force to be reckoned with, should the need arise."

"Thankfully, I doubt that you'll have to see _that_ particular display- It takes quite a lot to rile her up." Connor sets aside the tablet they were reading on, repositioning in their seat. "How’s it been? I see Asgard hasn’t collapsed while I wasn't looking."

Thor snorts, rolling his eyes. "Your faith is as encouraging as ever. I’ll have you know I’ve managed to start a grand total of _zero_ wars these last few days- already beating Father’s record!” He settles in to the other side of his fine oak desk with ill-practiced ease, flipping his cloak off the arm and adjusting his hair without thought. “Though there _have_ been a surprising amount of calls for full citizenship in certain territories. I’m not particularly surprised by the trolls, but the Kronans usually kept to themselves in the past. There has been quite a bit of… _straying_ from the status quo.”

“Hah, I see the kingdom truly _does_ take after the king.” The Diamond grins, giving Thor a bit of a raking look. “Hasn’t half the gossip you’ve accumulated these past few days been on exactly that?”

It would be unfitting of the Allfather to snort at the comment, but _Father_ isn’t here to say anything. “Don’t you start. At this rate I’m assuming even _you’ll_ have some alarming new deal to spring on me, too.”

Connor’s idle song cuts with a barking sort of chuff, mouth set in a flat, firm line. “Technically it’s nothing _new_ . You’ve sort of already agreed to it. But I guess I have to spell it out because, uh-” The Diamond looks aside uncomfortably. “I got _politely reminded_ that we’re coming from different cultures here and some stuff we’ve gotten up to might’ve flown over each other’s heads.”

Thor cocks his head, his hands cupping his chin and his brows knitting closer together. “What do you mean, something I’ve already agreed to? Did we get drunk one night that I _don’t_ remember? I surely didn’t mean to misread something if I did-”

“No, no!” Connor lightly puts up their hands. “It’s not your fault. Besides, I know how all the drunk stuff works, I wouldn’t spring anything on you if you weren’t sober. It’s- it’s about our coronation gift. _My_ coronation gift. The, uh-” 

Connor trails off, diamond eyes shuttering when they tilt their head to the cloak Thor is still wearing.

He follows the look, fingering at the fabric in confusion. “The cloak? It’s been working just fine, Connor, really. It actually seems _stronger_ than what I had before, and warmer, too. What’s wrong with it?” Thor scratches his beard, looking down at himself. “You mentioned cultural differences.” He thinks back to earlier. “I saw your bard, he was wearing it around his neck- am I _wearing_ it wrong?”

“ _Nothing-_ ” Connor’s song pitches oddly for a moment before correcting itself. “Nothing’s _wrong_ with you- the way you’re using it. I think. There’s-” They hum for a moment with an underlying hiss before finally deciding to bite the bark. “Do y’all have courting around these parts?”

“... Like governing or like coupling?”

“Couple-” Connor’s face flattens. “Oh, you’re talking about sex.” Before Thor can choke from how bluntly Connor said it, they go on like it was nothing. “I don’t see what that has to do with it. It’s more like the governing thing, _kind of_.”

Thor rubs the undersides of his eyes, still recovering, before replying. “Kind of? How does one _kind of_ govern?”

“It’s not _your_ kind of governing, I mean. The Diamonds- _we_ \- Gems are basically our kids, right? Our laws reflect that. Az explained it like- legal responsibility and _familial_ responsibility go hand in hand. We don’t know anything else.”

Connor taps their claws against the braces of their arms. Despite all the nervousness the posture implies, their eyes meet Thor’s head on.

“We have fought together, lived together, kept watch together. I sealed your wounds, my ichor runs through you, and now you wear my colors as I gave them to you. You bear my respect, my friendship, and my loyalty. _You_ **_are_ ** **_mine_** ** _._** ”

(And as dark as Connor’s eyes always were, something in them edges like crimson.)

“You are _my_ ,” Connor finishes, the faintest little smile bushing their lips. “Nothing more, nothing less. I treat you as I would a Gem- like family, however you want to accept that.”

“That is…” Thor swallows, not quite looking away, “...a heavy promise to make for both our kingdoms.”

“Not the Empire,” Connor corrects, “not Asgard. You, _only_ you, with _only_ me. I…" They hesitate for a moment. "I realize that probably sounds _really weird_ , but that’s why I wanted to _tell you._ I’m not getting anything out of this, I’m not _asking_ for anything in return. Just… if you _want_ something. Anything at all. If I can give it, it’s yours. For as long as you can ask.”

Thor thinks for a moment, a quiet filling the room as he stares into his friend’s face. There’s a considerable amount of unsaid feelings swimming through the pale blue seas of his own eyes, but his face may as well have been carved from stone. Never does he break the silence, nor does he break eye contact.

The Allfather Thor Odinson has known Sunrose Diamond all these months, and only now is he truly absorbing that what sits across from him is well and truly _alien._ Though their mannerisms and form may give the appearance of something humanoid, this heavy insight into their mind, into their _instinct_ proved otherwise. (There was no other way to describe it- There was a distinctly _feral_ tinge to the air afterwards. Borderline draconic.) Should he accept such a proposition, there would undoubtedly be scrutiny and rumors for as long as he ruled- perhaps worse. The Aesir were not known for their empathy, nor did they pretend it to be so.

( _If they found out, of course._ Connor had said _however you choose to accept it_ , after all. It could stay just like this. ~~It could be more than this.~~ )

In the end, the decision wasn’t even hard to make.

Perhaps it already had been, all along.

“You know,” Thor finally says with an easy grin, “if we’re such good friends now, you could have a little more respect. No more of this _little prince_ nonsense you’ve gone and named me with.”

“If you insist, little king.”

“ _I would pay you to never say that ever again._ ”

Connor sighs loudly. “Well, alright then.” A slow blink. “Little storm.”

Thor groans, shaking his head before leaping over his desk and engulfing the taller figure into a hug. “That, I think, I might be able to live with.”

(It was rather funny, actually. Despite being a literal head-and-shoulders taller than Thor, he only needed one arm to wrap fully ‘round the Diamond’s waist and bring them close.)

Connor makes a whole show of chuffing loudly and disgruntledly, even as they absently wrap their own arm around Thor’s shoulders. “Yeah, you _better_ live with it,” they flatly intone, “you’re gonna be hearing it for the rest of your life.”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~Thor: (totally not lying awake staring at the ceiling)~~   
>  ~~Thor: (totally not thinking about how small connor's waist was)~~   
>  ~~Thor: ( _Totally not losing sleep from that thought-_ )~~


	68. The March Of The Horses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wolf and Morion's excellent adventure.

* * *

Technically Wolf did nothing wrong.

_ Technically _ .

From a certain point of view. If one chooses to legally define said events.

Wolf is most definitely not a criminal, no sir. He's a servant of the people. He does not commit crimes against the people, that is his least favorite thing to do.

Well, in this case, he's a servant of the horses, so perhaps the people can wait.

In his defense- which is a very good defense because he is a very good boy who has never done anything wrong ever- he didn't  _ mean _ to send a pack of workhorses into the market square.

At first.

He only wanted to see the stables, because the stables have different animals, and Father says Wolf can go wherever he likes if no one needs him, so if he wants to look at weird, non-Wolf animals, that’s fine.

Horses! They are weird. They are tall and have claws for legs. And no toes. (How one lives without toes, Wolf will never know. He bends his in appreciation.)

Horses also make noises like rocks and birds and rushing wind. And they also sleep while standing. Which is  _ weird _ . (They have hay, why wouldn't they just lay down in the warmth?? Weird horses. At least they have blankets.)

But it will not be weird if Wolf is also there. Probably. He is tall and wears blankets. He could be a horse. No one can prove otherwise. He could be the best horse, Father even rides him sometimes.

Oooo, he should race one. Maybe later.

Though it would probably be hard to ask a horse to race. Or ask a horse anything. Wolf is…  _ aware  _ that he is not the same animal as a horse, or even a wolf. Maybe other animals do not ask the questions that Wolf can.

Maybe he should just learn horse so he can ask. It can't be too hard, he learned to speak, breathy noises are nothing!

_ Update: the horses suspect nothing. I have become one of them. _

Pretending to be a horse is very easy because all Wolf has to do is not sit down, not make wolf noises, and stare at hay. (Apparently the horses  _ eat _ the hay, sometimes. Wolf did not eat the hay because that would be weird.)

Of course he probably couldn't fool a human into thinking he was a horse. That does not stop him from trying. Besides, what matters is that the  _ horses _ think he is a horse- or at least something close enough to a horse that they will be friends. (Horse-ish? Horse-y? These are the real questions. This is why Wolf can speak.)

The horses have fat round noses on their long faces so they probably can sniff things, which is good because Wolf  _ also _ sniffs things and it would be very hard not to sniff things. Namely, the horses.

_ Update: the horses smell like horse. This is profound information. _

To his delight, the horse sniffs back at him. Strangely, he does not sniff his butt when offered. (Weird horses and weird sniffs. Their breath smells like hay and carrots.)

Their lips smell like iron, which is strange, and some of them have grassy scars on their shoulders. 

They do not look fun and the horses do not like him sniffing those spots.

But  _ why _ do they have those scars? He does not know an animal that could hurt such a big animal like that. He does not know a creature that could give those long, rounded scratches.

Maybe he could ask. Not the way horses do, he does not know how. But maybe the way he asks Father things- very dignified and pointed.

“WHAT SCRATCHED YOU?”

Wait, that’s the wrong asking. The horses can probably understand him, but he has no way to understand back. Questions without answers, how inconveniently horrid.

Hoping he does not get kicked for it, Wolf touches his nose to a horse’s nose. (The nose is very wet. And cold. As all noses should be.)

_ Hi. I’m Wolf. _

The horse flicks an ear.  _ This one is named by aesir. This is named Donar. _

Wolf cocks his head, tongue lolling out.  _ Hi Donar. What scratched you? _

_ Work. _

_ What’s your work? _

_ Work is walking with wooden animals on back for the driver. The driver speaks with clicking and scratching.  _ Donar blinks.  _ Others that are not Donar work with drivers on their back.  _

_ So you pull carts but your driver scratches you? _ Wolf asks. _ Why would he scratch if you’re working? _

_ I do not know. That is how drivers speak to horses. _

_ That is… wrong. _

Donar tilts his own head slightly.  _ Does driver of Wolf not speak this way? _

_ Father would never. Father heals Wolf.  _ Wolf wags his tail.  _ Father sings me where to go. Sometimes touches with his leg a certain way. Never scratch. He does not hurt. _

Donar knickers.  _ That sounds nice. Donar did not think drivers could speak differently. _

Wolf looks around the room, picking out all the scars and wounds on the horses in the stable. Nearly two thirds have such marks.  _ Maybe we can tell them to. _

_ How does a horse speak to a driver? _

=<>=

In Wolf’s defense, this is at least partially Father’s fault.

Probably.

Technically.

Because when Wolf was only a wolf and Father was more like a pup, Father would sing at him about things he learned from  _ his _ father, and now that Wolf is Wolf and Father is less pup, he has not stopped doing that.

So Wolf knows things. Like how to protest. (Father did that a lot probably.)

Also how to get food but not by yourself.

“CHILD.”

“Puppy,” Morion says back.

“I have a name, child!”

“Am puppy.” He points to himself. “Am child.”

“FAIR ENOUGH!” Wolf leans his head into Morion’s face. “Child, we must secure the welfare of the laboring class. We cannot stand this injustice of the horses.” He blinks. “And also the hunger. Hunger is the enemy of us all.”

Morion points in the direction of the market. “The meat!”

“YES! THE MEAT!” Wolf pushes the child up on his back. “WE RIDE TO BEAT THE MEAT!”

And that is why it is very much not Wolf’s fault that there are now fifty (50) horses standing in the market and refusing to move from their spots. He only asked a question. Father said there was no such thing as a bad question.

It is also not his fault that he is now standing on a very tall box shouting with horses about workers’ rights. 

_ Oh, sure _ , when Father speaks at the radio he’s  _ teaching _ and  _ providing news _ , but when Wolf speaks at the aesir it’s  _ disrupting the peace  _ and  _ inciting civil unrest _ and  _ how the fuck did all these horses get here _ and  _ wait who’s that kid and where’s my wallet. _

This is clearly animal discrimination. He demands to see his lawyer. (He does not know what a lawyer is, but he wants one. It’s what you do.)

Besides, Father told him about this funny little word called  _ diplomatic immunity _ . So of course he told the people about that too. Namely, that he and horsekind had it.

“TOUCH THE HORSES AND I’LL EAT YOUR TEETH! THE HORSE IS WORTH THE COURSE!”

“Horse course!” Morion repeats from his back.

That’s how diplomatic immunity works, right?

That’s totally how it works.

Maybe.

Probably.

The child backs him so he is right, that is how it is.

“Child. Child, did you bring meat?”

Morion whips a slice of ham out of his hair and drops it into his mouth.

“EXCELLENT.”

=<>=

For completely unrelated reasons, Asgard now has specific and detailed animal welfare laws, and The March Of The Horses is now remembered by bards as a historical event. 

  
Wolf was proud of the horses for telling their drivers. The horse had licked his head. Horses were friends.

(He never did get that race.)

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been the end of _Prodigal Suns_. Thank you for reading.
> 
> _We'll meet again,_   
>  _don't know where, don't know when,_   
>  _but I know we'll meet again some sunny day..._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Comment, critique, and despaired cries of incomprehension all welcome.  
> Join the Discord server for draft bits, behind the scenes nonsense, yearning questions of my questionable literary choices, and future stories.  
> https://discord.gg/xdhnqKj  
> This series now has a dedicated written timeline for the curious in the series companion guide, which is the last "fic" listed in the series page.


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